The Road Trip
by Caleon
Summary: Ever wonder why Felicity & Ben don't say much about their freshman summer road trip? Follow their adventure here!
1. Destination Anywhere

**The Road Trip **

**Disclaimer:** "The Road Trip" is a work of fan fiction inspired by the television series "Felicity" and is intended only for the purposes of entertainment and self-instruction in writing. The author does not claim ownership of any of the characters or settings originally appearing in the television show, nor is the author profiting from this fan fiction story in any way. The characters appearing in this fan fiction who have also appeared in the original television series belong to writers Matt Reeves and J.J. Abrams, and are used here with all due respect to the original works. No infringement is intended.

_A/N: I began this story without having seen Season 3 of "Felicity." Consequently, you will find that the story line presented here doesn't agree with some of the places Felicity & Ben later mention having seen that summer. Since a rewrite and change of route were impossible by the time I discovered the error, I have left the story as it is. Regardless, I hope you enjoy my telling of one of the most important parts in FAB history._

1 – Destination Anywhere

As the cab turned around, Felicity's heart began to thump against her ribcage. _What if he left already?_ She checked her watch. Ten-oh-nine. _I'm late. He only said he'd wait until ten._ She peered in agitation out the windows at the heavy New York traffic. She had never minded the congestion and chaos of New York life before. In fact, she loved it…except for right now. Minutes ticked by while the cab navigated through the logjam of cars, heading for the loft at a pace that made Felicity want to jump out and run instead.

She wondered for an instant if she'd made the right choice, then squelched the thought at once. Berlin would have been wonderful. When the cab driver asked her destination, she blurted the name of the airport without thinking. It seemed automatic that she should want to go with Noel. After all, she loved him, didn't she? The thought of _not_ going with him and knowing she'd have to face that decision in the fall, had seemed too much to bear.

As soon as the words left her mouth, they felt somehow…wrong. The closer the cab got to the airport, the more everything in her pointed like a compass arrow straight to the loft. She couldn't do it, no matter how great Berlin would be. The chance of a lifetime wasn't in Berlin. She hoped it was still waiting at Sean's place.

_Please drive faster!_ She gripped her knees in frustration. She noticed a small tear in the upholstery of the cab seat and fixed all her attention on it, trying to distract herself from their slow progress.

Felicity knew without checking when the cab turned the corner onto Wooster, because her heart went from thumping to hammering. She glanced at her watch again. Ten-twenty. With a disappointed sigh, she lifted her gaze to the window.

The Cadillac stood parked out front of the loft…with Ben leaning against it.

Her heart surged into her throat as the cab veered toward the curb. Ben looked up and burst into a smile that made her heart race even faster, if that were possible. She paid the driver, then opened the cab door and got out.

She tried to speak, but words wouldn't come. She had the strangest feeling that the simple decision of where to spend two weeks of her freshman summer had just altered the course of her life. It now lay like a blank slate before her.

Or an unmarked road map.

The driver got out and opened the cab trunk, setting her baggage on the curb for her. She thanked him. The driver nodded and, getting into the cab, zoomed off to convey some other person to their unknown fate.

Ben came forward. "Hey."

"Hey," she answered, managing a smile of her own. "I wasn't sure if you'd still be here."

His smile broadened into a sheepish grin. "I figured I'd wait until ten-thirty…just in case."

With that, summer stretched its welcoming, sunny arms around her, and Felicity knew there could have been no other choice. She beamed. "I'm glad you did."

Ben picked up her bags and went to the trunk of the Cadillac, opening it and tossing them in beside his own things. Walking around to the passenger side, he opened the door with an exaggerated flourish. She giggled and got in.

He rounded the front of the car and got into the driver's seat. He put the key into the ignition and paused without turning it. He looked back at her, and the corner of his mouth curled upward. "Thanks for doing this with me."

Felicity dimpled at him. "This is going to be a _great_ trip."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." He started the engine. "Where to?"

What a question! The whole country lay ahead of them, and they had two weeks to see it all. She laughed. "Anywhere!"

"Anywhere it is," he said, and they pulled away from the curb.

They drove the city streets in silence for a while, navigating the same traffic that had slowed her arrival at the loft. Felicity didn't mind it at all, now that they were together. _Together. Ben and me, together. I still can't believe this is happening. We haven't even left New York yet, and already I know it's the best summer I've ever had._ She watched him from the corner of her eye with a small smile.

Ben noticed her looking and grinned again. "What? Do you want the radio on?"

She felt herself blushing and hoped he couldn't tell. "No." She saw the travel book sitting between them on the front seat and picked it up, flipping through it. "Do you still want to see Indianapolis?"

"Yeah, it could be fun. Didn't you say you wanted to go to Yellowstone?"

"Yeah. I've never been. My parents went before I was born, and they showed me these great pictures they took, so I always wanted to go," she explained, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "What else do you want to see?"

"I don't know. I had some friends in high school, we used to just get in the car and go somewhere. We'd drive until we got to an intersection, and then spin a bottle on the road, and whichever way it pointed, we went that way." He laughed. "We wound up once in some one-street town in Utah and ran out of gas. My friend Jason only had ten bucks left in his pocket, so we sold his car stereo for the gas money to get home." Looking at her again, he added, "What do _you_ want to see?"

She thought about that. "How about Philadelphia and Washington D.C.? There's all that American history to soak up."

Ben laughed. "Sure. First stop, Philadelphia."


	2. Philadelphia

2 – Philadelphia

As they passed into downtown Philadelphia, Ben said, "I'm starving. Are you hungry?"

"Yes. Definitely. Where do you want to eat?"

"Well, we're in Philly," he pointed out. "Why don't we try a real Philly cheesesteak and see how the competition stacks up?"

"Sounds great. Getting out of this car for a while sounds even better," she grumbled.

"No kidding. Is it too late to get a plane ticket? We're not even off the eastern seaboard yet."

Felicity chuckled in commiseration as the car turned down a street packed with eclectic shops and restaurants. "I thought maybe we could spend half a day here and leave tonight for Washington. I'll drive us there."

"Sounds good to me. Hey, there's a place to eat."

She looked where he indicated: a deli on the corner of one block with a sign reading _Sammy's_ in large red script over the door. A tidy row of café tables stood outside. People streamed in and out of the building. "That looks like our place," she smiled.

Ben parked the car in a nearby lot and they got out to stretch with matching groans. Felicity noticed a general market a few doors down from the deli. "I need to go get some film for my camera."

"Okay. Why don't I grab our food, then?"

"Sure," she agreed, and headed off to the market.

* * * * *

Felicity decided that she loved traveling. Just being in a different place gave her a thrill of adventure. _I'm in a totally new city, seeing things I've never seen before and might never see again. I'd have missed all this if I went to Stanford like Dad wanted._ She emerged from the market to see Ben sitting at one of the shade-dappled café tables with their lunch, talking with an older couple at the next table. She heard him laugh aloud and warmed to the sound. _I'd have missed a cross-country trip with Ben Covington._

As she reached the table, Ben smiled at the couple. "This is Felicity." He grinned at her. "Angie and Harold are from Philadelphia. They were just giving me some ideas on what's good to see here."

"Hi," smiled Felicity, shaking their hands and sitting down.

"You should definitely see Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell," Angie suggested.

Ben took a bite of his sandwich. "Mmm…_This_ is a Philly cheesesteak."

Felicity tried her own. "Oh my God, this is really good. What is the rest of the country thinking? I'm never eating another one of these unless we come here to get it."

Ben smiled around his mouthful, then washed it down with a swallow of water. "Harold's a doctor. We were talking about the Medical Exhibit at the Pennsylvania Hospital. I guess it's the country's first hospital. Since you're pre-med, I thought you'd want to go."

She softened at the notion of Ben thinking about places she'd like to see. "Yeah, that sounds great." _Anything sounds great right now,_ she added silently, taking another bite of cheesesteak.

"You two are from New York?" interjected Harold.

Felicity licked a drip of cheese off her finger. "Sort of. We're originally from California, but we're going to school in New York City."

Angie smiled. "That's quite a change, going all the way across the country. Don't you get homesick?"

"Sometimes," Felicity admitted with a laugh, "but there's so much to see and do in New York that you don't have much time to be homesick between classes."

"Being pre-med, I can certainly believe that," chuckled Harold. "Aren't you also pre-med, Ben?"

Ben's eyebrows shot up. "_Me?_ No."

Felicity studied him. He looked self-conscious at the idea that he might be in the pre-med program, even a little embarrassed.

Half an hour later, they left _Sammy's_ with full stomachs and a list of interesting sites to visit. For the rest of the afternoon, they toured the city. They visited Independence Hall and saw the Liberty Bell in its glass pavilion, then went to the hospital to see the nation's first surgical amphitheater. At the U.S. Mint, Felicity snapped a photo of Ben making an evil face and rubbing his hands greedily like a villain in an old black and white film at all the freshly printed money.

After that, they went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Felicity fell speechless from the time they entered the building, mouth open in admiration as they walked.

Ben noticed her silence. "Something wrong?"

She stared in awe at the oil painting in front of them. Its colors blazed with life. The people in the painting seemed ready to stand up and speak to her. "There just aren't enough hours in a year to see all this. It's—It's beautiful."

Ben was silent for a few moments. "I saw one of your drawings once, in high school. There was a display in one of the cases outside the art department and your drawing was in it. It was a self-portrait or something. It was really good. I liked it."

She smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he echoed, looking back at the painting. "You could do this stuff. You're good at it."

Her smile broadened, and they continued walking slowly along, looking at other artwork on display. They turned down a hall that had large glass windows on one side looking out onto a courtyard of outdoor sculpture. Late afternoon sun slanted into the hall, bathing it in a surreal golden aura.

She noticed Ben hanging back behind her as they walked and paused before another painting on the opposite wall. "What?"

"Let me have your camera."

She shrugged, handed it over, and turned back to the paintings.

Ben watched her pace along until she was halfway down the hall ahead of him. She stopped at another painting to study it with her hands in the pockets of her denim jacket. She stood with her weight planted on one foot. Her other foot was tucked behind the opposite ankle as she looked up at the painting in obvious wonder. Her hair hung loose in a mane around her shoulders, glowing in the sunlight streaming into the hall behind her. Looking at her, Ben smiled and snapped the picture.

Startled, she looked up at the flash and dimpled. "Am I totally boring you with this?"

Ben went forward to join her and handed the camera back. "No. No, I'm having a good time."

She beamed. "I am, too. This place is amazing." Her face grew more serious. "Thank you. For waiting at the loft, I mean. I'm never going to forget this."

"Yeah," he responded, turning to look at the painting with a slow nod. "This is…really cool." He met her gaze again, and they shared another smile.

* * * * *

They finished up their tour with ice cream and a walk through Fairmount Park. Felicity looked sidelong at him, picking at the paper sleeve on her ice cream cone as they walked. "When Harold asked if you were pre-med, why did you get all weird?"

Ben made a puzzled face. "I was weird?"

"Yeah. You made this face like pre-med was the last possible major to consider. I was just wondering if maybe you thought it was…I don't know…bizarre, to want to be a doctor," she explained, not looking at him.

Ben broke into a smile. He stuffed a hand in one pocket and shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't see myself doing that. I'm not smart like you. I couldn't pass that stuff."

Felicity stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and eyed him. "You could, too. You can do anything you want."

He glanced at her, looking like he was about to say something further. He halted, changed his mind, and jammed the last bite of his ice cream cone into his mouth instead. He shrugged again, philosophically this time, and continued on down the sidewalk.

Felicity raised her eyebrows and followed, finishing off her ice cream and tossing the empty paper sleeve into a trashcan.

When they passed a children's historical exhibit, Felicity spied a diorama of a Colonial man and woman with the faces cut out so that tourists could pose for pictures behind it. The figure of the man held a quill pen and scroll of paper. The woman figure was seated in a Windsor chair with sewing in her lap. "This is great! Let's get a picture!"

Grinning, Ben went around to the back of the diorama and stuck his head into the opening where the Colonial man's face would have been. "Come on. I'm not doing this myself," he dared her.

Felicity asked a passing woman to take their picture and went around the other side of the diorama, putting her face through the other opening.

The woman holding her camera laughed and snapped the picture.

Felicity took her camera back and thanked the woman. "That one's going to be priceless," she said as they walked away from the exhibit.

"I'll bet," Ben rumbled amiably, looking back over his shoulder at the painted figures in the diorama. "Seriously. _How_ were they comfortable wearing clothes like that?"

"They'd probably say _our_ clothes were weird," Felicity countered.

He waved a hand at their surroundings. "So, what do you think?"

"I am having so much fun. I can't even believe this is only the first day." She laughed. "My feet are killing me."

"Why don't we sit down?"

They sat on the curving edge of a nearby fountain. Felicity sighed with relief. They watched people walk, bike, and rollerblade past them to the musical patter of the fountain's falling water. She felt Ben's eyes on her and glanced up. "What?"

"I've just—I've been wondering," he said at last. "What made you decide to come with me? Instead of going to Berlin?"

Felicity lowered her gaze to the pavement between her feet with an awkward smile. "I guess it was a chance to figure you out. In high school, you were this big mystery, and I always wondered…" She trailed off and met his eyes. "This is kind of crazy. Isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

Butterflies quivered in her belly at the intent way he gazed at her. His eyes trailed over her face, and she thought maybe they lingered on her mouth. His shoulder brushed against her own. She flushed and examined her shoes. "We never—We never said what we were going to do about…the motel. If there was only one bed."

Ben smiled and sat back. "I told you, don't worry about that. Look, if it bothers you, I'll sleep on the floor."

"No," she said, reddening further. "I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor the whole trip."

"Then _you_ can sleep on the floor."

She looked up. Ben was grinning from ear to ear, teasing her. "I will _not_."

"Then I guess we'll have to share," he replied smugly.

The peal of a clock tower striking five reached them from across the park, interrupting her reply. "We should get going," she announced instead, standing up. "It's a long way yet to Washington."

Ben got to his feet. "Yeah. I'm not looking forward to getting back in the car, even if the stereo system _is_ so great."

"Wait!" she cried as they were about to leave.

"What?"

She fished a couple of pennies from her pocket and held one out to him. "It's a fountain. Make a wish."

Laughing, he took one of the pennies. Pausing to make a thoughtful face, he flipped the coin into the fountain. "Your turn."

She giggled, stepping forward with her lower lip clamped between her teeth, and flicked the penny spinning into the water. "Okay. Let's go."

They turned and started away. "What was your wish?" he asked.

"Never you mind."

Ben grumbled in amusement. "That's no fair. I would have told you mine."

"I'm not telling you," she replied airily.

Ben laughed in response.

The fountain's water chattered away behind them as they left. Neither of them had noticed that at its pinnacle, Cupid pointed his bow and arrow into the sky.


	3. Washington

3 – Washington

Ben turned the map around. "Don't any of these streets have names other than states or numbers?"

"Yeah. Names like 'O' Street' or 'Q' Street," Felicity replied wryly.

"Great. Learn geography, numbers, and the alphabet all in one tour stop. Where the hell is Barnhart Road?"

Felicity broke off in mid-giggle. "Hey! There's the National Zoo. I _definitely_ want to see that."

Ben looked up as they went past, where a pair of enormous bronze lions held sway at either side of the entrance. "I'm thinking the Air and Space Museum."

"And the Smithsonian. And maybe a driving tour of all the important buildings. You do realize we're going to have to stay at least a whole day to see all this," she laughed. "That is, if we find the motel…or at least Barnhart Road. Any luck?"

"Nope. Still more states. We could always stay at the Ritz Carlton," he laughed, nodding at the posh hotel as they went by it. "Well, we could if we were rich and snobby."

Felicity bit her lip and stayed silent.

Ben raised his eyebrows. "What? What did I say?"

She turned red. "My father's been here for medical conferences. He stays there when he comes sometimes."

"Oh. Sorry." He looked down at the map. "Hey, I found it. Turn right down this next street. It connects to one that'll get us to Barnhart Road."

Felicity did so.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I didn't mean—"

"Ben, it's okay," she said, breaking into a smile. "The hospital usually pays to send him to that stuff anyway, or my dad wouldn't be staying there. Believe me."

He gave her a discomfited grin that brought out his dimples. Felicity reminded herself that she ought to be watching the road and not him. "So where's Barnhart?"

He surveyed their surroundings. "Up five blocks on the left."

They turned onto Barnhart and began looking for building numbers. Their route took them out of the downtown area. The closer they got to the motel, the more Felicity realized that she had just spent an entire day in close quarters with Ben Covington and he hadn't touched her once. Not even an iota of the sparks that flew when he kissed her that one time…before she bolted out of the loft like a marathon sprinter. _Was I just imagining the way he looked at me earlier today? Maybe I just wanted it and read more into it than was actually there. What if he's decided this whole thing is a waste of time? Oh, Sally, I wish you were here with your common sense._

"You're going to miss it."

"Oh!" She pressed on the brakes. The car jolted a bit, but she managed to turn smoothly into the motel parking lot.

Ben gave her an odd look as they pulled into a space. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry." She opened the car door to get out and was jerked back into the seat by the seatbelt. Mortified, she unbuckled it and got out of the car. She went around to the trunk to get her bags.

Meanwhile, Ben had the same idea. She reached for the trunk lid just as his hand came down on top of hers. She froze.

Ben took his hand away. "Sorry. You go ahead. I'll check us in."

Just like that, he withdrew and walked away to the office. Deflating, Felicity stared after him. _Okay, I'm pretty sure that was crashing indifference._ She opened the trunk and took their bags out.

Ben emerged from the office with a room key. "Number eight on the end," he called, waving in the direction of their door. He came toward her and took two of their bags.

Felicity felt the stirrings of butterflies again, but this time she felt certain they were all in her mind. She followed him to the last door.

Ben opened the door and it swung inward. He remained where he was. "Uh…maybe we should find another motel."

Curiosity piqued, she tried ducking around his shoulder. "Why? What's wrong with this one?"

Ben moved aside with eyebrows aloft and shot a look askance at her. Felicity stepped into the room, and her jaw dropped. "Oh…my…"

Blue shag carpeting covered the floor…and the walls. Oversized mirrors hung over the head of the bed and on the opposite wall. A third hung on the ceiling. At the center of the room, dwarfing it with sheer size, stood a king-sized waterbed that left a mere two feet on any side to walk around. The glass of the single tiny window had been painted over…also in blue. She turned in a slow, dumbfounded circle and stared at Ben with her mouth still hanging open.

He cleared his throat and came into the room, pushing the door shut.

Felicity snorted, gesturing. "B-Ben."

He turned to check the back of the door. It was also carpeted. He divided a look between her and it, clearly fighting for control of his expression. "Well…at least it was…cheap."

Felicity hooted and dropped the bags on the floor. She plummeted onto the end of the bed and gave herself over to fits of giggling.

Ben dissolved into laughter himself, setting his bags down. "This was—_not_—what I pictured our first night of the trip." He sat on the bed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't think I can sleep in this room. I mean…it's really…_blue_. And…fuzzy."

This declaration sent Felicity into further hysterics until tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Her hilarity drove Ben into fresh waves of his own mirth. "I'm glad you can appreciate the irony of this."

"Oh, God," she panted, holding her stomach. "Stop! Stop laughing! I can't breathe!" She sucked in a huge gulp of air and held it.

They stared at each other, each struggling to regain their composure. The corner of Ben's mouth quivered on the edge of another laugh. "We are _so_ going out for a pizza."

"Right behind you," she shot back. The two of them sprang to their feet, exited the room, and slammed the door.

- - - - -

"So you two are here for vacation?" the waitress asked, scribbling down their order for a small pepperoni and mushroom pizza and two sodas.

"Sort of a cross-country one," Ben responded.

The waitress pushed a strand of long blond hair behind one ear and beamed at him. "Are you married?"

Ben gave her an embarrassed chuckle. "No, we're just friends."

Felicity had to work to keep smiling. _Is that all he wants?_

"Really?" the waitress continued. "You'll love Washington. There's lots of really great parks and historical tours. Some of them are even free, like the zoo. How long are you staying?"

"Just a day or two."

"Well, I hope you have a good time. My name's Lily, if you need anything." The young woman turned away.

Felicity opened her mouth to say something to Ben.

"By the way," Lily interrupted, coming back to the table. "I'm sorry. I didn't ask you, but did you want any appetizers to start off? Mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders, onion rings?"

Felicity noticed how the woman addressed them both, but looked only at Ben…and she was blushing.

Ben gave Felicity a dubious look and she shook her head. "No, I guess not," he said. "Thanks."

"Okay, then. Just let me know if you change your mind." The waitress left again.

"She wishes you would," Felicity muttered under breath.

"What?"

With a glance to make sure Lily was out of earshot, Felicity leaned over the table and whispered, "Our waitress is hitting on you."

"What? No, she's not."

"She did everything but jump in your lap," she insisted. "How can you not notice?"

"You're crazy."

"I'm not. _'Are you married?'_ Come on, Ben."

A smile spread across his face. "You think so?"

_Oh, God. He's actually flattered!_ Felicity huffed and rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Granted, she didn't kiss you or take her clothes off like Nicole, but it's fairly obvious she wants you."

Ben's smile became a broad grin. His dimples came out again, and his eyes danced. "Is there a problem with the waitress hitting on me?"

Felicity glared. "Stop that."

"What?"

"You _know_ what. You smile, and get cute, and—"

Still wearing the grin, he propped an elbow on the table. "So you think I'm cute?"

_"Ben!"_

He managed to tone his grin down to a mere smug look.

Felicity seethed. "Why do you like to instigate with me?"

He leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table. "Why do you let me?"

She did likewise and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Here are your drinks," the waitress broke in, sliding a pair of tall glasses onto the table between them. "Your pizza should be out in a few minutes."

Ben's smile turned full-force onto the waitress. Felicity saw her melt and could practically pinpoint the second Lily became putty in his hands. _How does he do that? No, never mind. It's obvious how he does that. Does he even realize he does that?_ She mustered a grin of her own that went completely unnoticed. "Thank you."

With eyes only for Ben, Lily giggled and left once more.

They discussed a few of the places they wanted to visit until their pizza came. While eating, they talked about their finals and mapped out a rough schedule for the next day.

Caught up in plans, they didn't notice time passing until Lily came forward again. "We're, uh…closing soon."

Surprised, Felicity gathered up her coat and backpack. "Oh. Is it that late already?"

Ben stood up. "Yeah. I guess we should get going."

At the thought of returning to the motel, Felicity felt color suffuse her cheeks. She almost didn't catch Lily's next comment over the blood roaring in her ears.

"I could…show you around the city," the waitress offered, gaze darting to Felicity but lingering on Ben.

He raised a hand to rub self-consciously at the back of his neck. "Uh, thanks. Thank you, but we pretty much have it planned out."

His rebuttal of the offer left Felicity feeling unaccountably warm all over.

- - - - -

Ben drove them back to the motel. At first, they made small talk about dinner and what they were to see of the city the next day. As they neared their destination, both of them fell into silence. Fidgeting in her seat, Felicity could think of nothing other than the fact that she was about to spend the night with Ben in a motel room where patrons were obviously not expected to _sleep_.

Ben opened the motel room door and held it for her. She gave an awkward smile and felt relieved that it was too dark out to see the flaming blush on her face. She hurried into the room.

He flipped on a light and closed and locked the door behind them. The sound of the deadbolt clicking was a tense exclamation point to the mad rush of butterflies that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her belly.

He cleared his throat. "Felicity…"

A shiver raced up her spine and her heart began thrumming. She spun around a little too quickly, lost her balance, and plopped onto the bed. "What!"

He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it tousled. "I am sorry about the room."

"It's okay. It's fine. Really," she told him, trying to regain her dignity.

"No. I mean, I know this place is sort of…uncomfortable."

Felicity sat up straight, sweeping her gaze around the suggestive setting. "It's not like I've never had se—"

"That's not the point," he interrupted. "I mean for us."

Felicity hadn't thought she could blush any further. He was far too adept at bringing that out in her.

He glanced around him. "I just—I don't want you to feel weird about this. We could stay somewhere else, if you want."

She took a deep breath. "Where are we going to find another motel this cheap in Washington? It's fine. We can stay."

He came forward, evidently intending to sit on the bed since there were no chairs in the tiny room. Felicity stood up as fast as possible without jumping to her feet. "I…guess I should…go take a shower." She bent and picked up one of her bags.

When she straightened, Ben was directly before her. He gave a hesitant smile. "How do you want to do this?"

Her voice came out in a strangled whisper. "What?"

"Which side do you want?"

She blinked. "Oh. Either."

They stared at each other. Felicity was starting to get used to the butterflies, but now she felt shivers running throughout her body. _I am just imagining this. This is ridiculous._ "I—I'm going to go now."

He took a step back to let her by. "Right. Sorry."

She flew past him and around the bed to the bathroom, closing the door.

- - - - -

_I am in the shower, completely naked, and he's in the next room. The next room. On a huge bed. What am I doing? This was a very bad idea._ She rinsed out her hair and let it fall in dripping curls. _But maybe I was right before. Maybe he's decided that friends is better. I'm going to be mature about this. I can handle this._ She stepped out of the shower and toweled off, pulling on a tank top and flannel pajama pants. After brushing out her hair, she rummaged in the bag for her bathrobe and discovered that she had put it in her other bag.

With no more excuses to stay in the bathroom, she opened the door.

The light was off. It took her a moment to adjust to the dim interior. Ben lay on the far side of the bed, stretched out on his stomach. He had changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants. The sheets were bunched at the end of the bed. Felicity crept to the edge of the bed and sat down. The waterbed rippled and she grimaced, but he didn't stir. She eased into bed and lay on her side facing away from him, pulling the blankets up. When he still didn't move, she stole a look at the mirror overhead.

She couldn't see his face; he was turned away. Felicity sighed and tried to get to sleep. The moment she closed her eyes, they sprang open again. At least three feet of space lay between them, but it didn't feel that way. His proximity was an electric current buzzing on her skin. _I'm not going to sleep tonight, am I?_ She burrowed further into the covers.

On the other side of the bed, Ben opened his eyes. After a few moments of complete silence, he sighed and closed them again.


	4. Space

4 – Space

Felicity felt thankful that the next morning started with minimal awkwardness. Ben was already in the shower when she woke. After making the bed, she hurried into a pair of jeans and a fresh tank top. She sat cross-legged on the bed and turned on the television, flipping idly through the channels.

Water stopped running. Minutes later, Ben emerged from the bathroom in jeans and a dark blue button-down shirt. "Hey, I match the room," he kidded. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she echoed. "I was going to say—"

He rounded the bed to get to his sneakers. Felicity caught a whiff of aftershave and forgot the rest of what she had been about to tell him.

He sat on the corner of the bed and pulled on his shoes. "Say what?"

"Uh…" She fumbled for a second. "Breakfast. How about we start with breakfast and then drive around the city? We could check out the Air and Space Museum this afternoon."

"Sure." He finished tying his shoes and stood up, casting about the room. "Have you seen my wallet?"

She smiled. It felt good to return to casual banter after the discomfort of the past night. "Yeah. On top of the television."

Ben took his wallet and went to his nightstand, scooping up the car keys. "Ready?"

She got to her feet, second-guessing her initial reaction about their banter. He was so…calm. _Maybe he really has decided just to be friends. He did say I read too much into things. This doesn't have to mean anything, exactly._ She picked her backpack up off the dresser. _If he can do this, I can do this._ She flashed a smile. "Let's take on the capital."

- - - - -

"Wait, wait! I want to get a picture of the White House." She pointed her camera out the window as they approached it.

"How are you going to get a picture while we're driving?" he asked in amusement.

"I put a roll of high-speed film in it this morning."

Ben slowed the car as they drove past the White House, and she snapped her picture.

"That's the last one on the roll," she announced as the camera wound the film. "Want to check out the Air and Space Museum now?"

"Yeah. That's going to take a while," he told her.

"What do you mean?"

He gave a boyish grin. "When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut in the worst way."

She laughed, delighted to be learning something new about him. "Really?"

"It was either that, or a famous athlete. Did you always want to be a doctor?"

"Well, no," she responded thoughtfully. "My _dad_ always wanted me to be a doctor. I wanted to be an artist."

"What changed your mind?"

"Nothing, really. I like both. I just decided to pursue medicine instead of art, is all." With a smile, she added, "What about you? I know you haven't actually declared a major, but what happened to being an astronaut?"

He laughed a little. "I sort of grew out of it, I guess. I was like six years old."

"And athletics?"

He started to look uncomfortable. "I don't know." They reached the museum, and he parked the car. "It just didn't work out that way."

Felicity got the impression he didn't want to discuss his career plans any further. They got out of the car and headed for the museum entrance. She thought back to his reaction when Harold had assumed he was pre-med. She knew he wanted to drop the subject, but she couldn't resist. "What do you want to do with your life?"

He hesitated a step. She could have sworn he flinched. "I don't know. Why does it matter?"

Felicity stopped walking and lowered her voice. "I didn't mean to—"

"Just forget it."

"I just meant—"

He whirled around. "I don't know! Half the time, I'm not sure where I've been, let alone where I'm going. The things I wanted to do, I never exactly got the support for back home. My dad thought I'd make a great _bartender_. That was before I got brave enough to dump his drink the first time." He came to a screeching halt and hunched his shoulders, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. His gaze slid away from her.

For an instant, Felicity glimpsed the boy inside him, still wrestling with having an alcoholic father. Her brows drew together. The words were out before she knew she spoke them. "I believe in you, Ben."

His eyes came back up. The wary look softened. "I know."

She started for the museum entrance again, and he fell into step beside her.

- - - - -

There was so much to see at the museum that the rest of the day sped by quickly while they walked around. On the surface, Ben returned to his usual good humor, but Felicity felt an undercurrent of standoffishness. Back at UNY, she would have put it off to Ben just being…well, Ben. But now… _Have I completely ruined what was going to be an incredible trip?_ She stared up at the Wright Brothers' plane, not really seeing it.

"Felicity?"

_That isn't Ben._ She blinked and turned around, searching for the speaker. A young man, blond and hazel-eyed, strode toward her beaming. She burst into a smile of her own. "Eric!"

He laughed and swept her into a bear hug, spinning her around.

She giggled in response. By the time Eric set her back on her feet, Ben had joined them. "Who's this?"

Felicity stepped back. "This is one of my best friends from high school, Eric Ranieri. Eric, this is Ben Covington."

Eric offered his hand. "Covington. You went to Palo Alto, too, didn't you? You were on the, uh…track team, right?"

"Right," Ben responded, shaking Eric's hand.

Felicity couldn't stop smiling. "It's so good to see you! What are you doing here?"

"I'm going to school at Georgetown," responded Eric.

"_Tell_ me you're taking art." When Eric nodded, Felicity divided a grin between him and Ben. "Eric always did the most amazing work in art class. I told him once that I'd kill him if he didn't open a gallery."

"Well, that's part of the reason I'm taking the classes I am," Eric teased. "Sinister threats from Felicity Porter can be a powerful motivation. Are you going here, too?"

"No. We actually go to U of New York. We're…kind of on vacation right now," she laughed. "How come you haven't gone home?"

"I have work here this summer. That, and I couldn't leave Washington. This place is everything Palo Alto isn't."

"So is New York," she agreed.

Eric glanced around them. "What are you guys doing right now? Do you want to get dinner?"

Felicity opened her mouth and hesitated.

Ben shrugged. "I'm kind of beat. Why don't you go?"

She gave him a doubtful look. "Are you sure? Do you want me to bring anything back for you?"

"No. Go on, I'll see you back at the motel. Thanks anyway, Eric."

"Sure. Felicity?"

With a last glance at Ben, she said, "Uh…yeah, I'll come."

As they walked away, Ben stood under the Wright Brothers' plane and stared after them.

"I didn't mean to barge in like that. Are you two dating, or something?" he heard Eric ask.

"No," responded Felicity. "We're just friends."

Ben shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed.


	5. Natural History

5 – Natural History

_It's 11:15. Was I really out that late?_ Felicity unlocked the door crept into the motel room.

Ben was still awake, sitting on the bed watching television. She thought she saw a tense look in his eyes, but it was gone in the next instant. She closed the door behind her. "I thought you'd be asleep by now."

He muted the television. "How was dinner?"

Her mouth curled into a smile. "Nice. You should have come."

"I wasn't really feeling like it," he shrugged. "What did you two talk about?"

"Mostly what we've been doing since high school." She rounded the bed to her nightstand and fished out the contents of her pocket, setting them down: some change, the museum ticket stub, and a piece of paper with Eric's number on it. "I'm going to take a shower." She noticed an odd look on his face. "What's wrong?"

His eyes flashed up from her nightstand. The odd look was gone. "Nothing."

She frowned in puzzlement but said nothing. Scooping up her bag, she headed for the bathroom.

- - - - -

Ben had been silent almost all morning while they were at the National Zoo, and for the better part of the early afternoon while they toured the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. Felicity flipped through the sheaf of tour brochures in her hand. "So this is our last day in Washington," she announced, forcing a cheer she didn't feel. "Did we miss anything you want to see?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to drop by Eric's and say goodbye before we leave?"

"Eric? No. Why?"

"I just thought you would, since you're friends with him."

She shook her head. "No. He's going to be busy, anyway. It's his boyfriend's birthday."

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he's gay." She noticed a smile spreading across Ben's face, the first real one she'd seen on him all day. "What now?"

"I just thought—I thought he was into you."

Felicity couldn't help laughing at that notion. "Not even close. We've been friends since junior high."

They made their way through an exhibit of South American culture. She was looking over a display of pottery when Ben asked, "Are you disappointed you didn't go to Berlin?"

The question caught her off guard. She blinked, wondering where that had come from all of a sudden. A question of her own sprang to her lips before she could think. "Are you disappointed Julie didn't come on the trip?"

"I didn't ask her not to," he countered.

"I know you didn't. That wasn't what I asked."

A muscle worked in his jaw. "Julie made up her own mind not to come. It would have been fine with me if she did, but she didn't. What does it matter now?"

She turned to face him. "Why does Berlin matter?"

"It doesn't," he barked.

Felicity pursed her lips and started pacing through the exhibit again. "You brought it up."

He didn't say anything to that.

"Look," she tried again, looking back at him. "I feel guilty about Julie and Noel, but I wanted to come on this trip." _I'm starting to wonder if you think it was a mistake, though,_ she added silently.

They said nothing further during their tour of the museum. The uneasiness between them was palpable. They made their way slowly back to the entrance of the museum, a multi-story rotunda at the center of which stood a magnificent specimen of a bull African elephant.

Felicity had given up small talk for a lost cause. She started for the exit on the other side of the rotunda, looking at the elephant as she paced around it.

Ben followed, hanging back, then stopped altogether. "This is stupid."

She halted. "What's stupid?"

Ben shifted his weight to the other foot. "This. You and me, tiptoeing around each other for the whole trip like this."

People wound their way around them going in and out of the museum. Felicity pursed her lips, faced at last with asking the question that had been plaguing her. "Do you—Do you think this trip was a bad idea?"

A pair of children went racing past between them, bumping Ben as they went. He waved them on with a preoccupied smile and closed the distance between her and himself. "No. Not the trip. The trip has been great so far. I mean the way you and I are…trying to be friends."

Felicity felt a stab of hurt. The rotunda's sound recording of African wildlife rang in her ears. "You don't want to be friends?"

He sighed and raised his eyes to the tiled dome, obviously searching for words. Looking frustrated, he lowered his gaze back to hers.

She choked and looked away, trying the force down the embarrassing tears filling her eyes. "I should have known this was all a mistake. Maybe I should have gone with Noel—"

_"No."_ The word was short, forceful.

Felicity's gaze snapped back to his in surprise.

Ben frowned and threw a hand in the air. "I know you want to be friends, and I'm trying to do that. I am. I like you. I wasn't kidding when I said that." He took a step closer until they stood toe to toe. "I just don't get it. I don't understand how _you_ can be so okay with that, when all _I_ really want to do is—" He broke off, took her face in his hands, and kissed her soundly.

Electricity buzzed up her spine. Felicity dropped the brochures in her hand and they went slithering to the floor in every direction. The other museum-goers faded. The recording of African wildlife faded. The elephant beside them faded. She closed her eyes.

Ben pulled away at last, but kept his hands on either side of her face.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at him. Seconds ticked by.

The corner of his mouth quirked upward. He searched her eyes, looking nervous. "Say something."

She found her voice, but it wasn't much help. "Uh…"

He lowered his hands to her shoulders. "Are you going to run away from me again if I let go of you?"

She shook her head, still staring.

He released her, dropping his hands to his sides.

Felicity blinked. His face blurred. She felt a tear slide down her cheek…and she smiled.

Ben's eyes lit up and he grinned at her. He leaned forward and kissed her again.


	6. Wherever You Go

6 – Wherever You Go

On their way through West Virginia, Ben looked out the passenger window and called, "Hey, stop, stop."

Felicity craned her neck to look where he was pointing. She saw a knot of bathing suit-clad kids standing on the sidewalk waving hand-painted signs. "Why?"

He grinned at her. "It's Sunday. Mickey wanted us to wash The Baby on Sundays, remember?"

She giggled and turned the car into the shopping center parking lot. "You want a bunch of kids to wash The Baby? God, he'll kill us."

Ben chuckled in unison with her. The group of kids circled the Cadillac, armed with hoses and buckets. Felicity parked it where they directed her. She and Ben got out.

Ben opened his wallet and thumbed through the bills, handing a few to one of the girls. "Thanks."

The girl nodded and started hosing down the car. Ben stepped back and crossed his arms. The kids washed the car and began rinsing it. "So, Indianapolis?"

"Yes. Indianapolis. Motor Speedway and Basketball Hall of Fame," she agreed with a definitive nod. She raised an eyebrow and looked askance at him. _"Guy stuff."_

Ben laughed. "What's wrong with that? We got to see your art museums and the hospital."

"And we got to see your Air and Space Museum," she shot back loftily.

"Yeah. My one thing and your—How many is it?"

She scowled playfully. "It's not my fault I pick all the good places."

He uncrossed his arms and glared. "Okay." He strode toward the girl with the hose. Bending toward her ear, he muttered something Felicity didn't catch.

She made a face. "What are you—?"

Ben turned around with the hose and aimed the nozzle at her with an evil look. "What were you saying, exactly?"

Felicity yelped and flew around the car to a boy holding another hose. "Quick! Lemme have it!" She snatched the hose from the startled boy and aimed it over the car at Ben, firing the nozzle full-force. Water splashed up the front of Ben's T-shirt, soaking him. Some of the girls cheered her on.

"That's it!" Ben hollered, letting fly with a spray of water that drenched her from head to foot. The boys in the group applauded and whistled.

With a shriek as the cold water ran down the back of her neck, Felicity fired the hose at him again.

Laughing, Ben crouched at the corner the car and shot another spray of water at her.

"Get him, get him!" shouted one of the girls. Other female voices rose in agreement.

The boys booed her, rallying behind Ben. Water rained down from both sides. Kids whooped and ran back and forth, dodging water and splashing buckets of it at each other.

Felicity jumped up from the other side of the car to grab a full bucket from the girls. "You are _so_ dead, Covington!"

Ben flashed a devious grin, dropped his hose, and came charging at her.

Shrieking again, Felicity hopped backward.

Ben snaked an arm around her middle and her bucket went sailing away through the air as he swung her around. Her arms and legs flailed loose and she gave a belly laugh. Chuckling himself, he set her back on her feet and they looked at each other. Both were dripping with water and suds. Felicity's hair was plastered to her scalp. Ben's stuck up in wet spikes.

He grinned and took her hand, twining his fingers through hers. "This could be a new look for you."

"Yeah, you, too." She giggled again.

They turned together to look at the car. Soap suds from their water fight dripped down the hood. "I guess we should have them wash it again," Ben rumbled, scratching his head and making his hair messier in the process. He started to take out his wallet.

"Forget it," said one of the boys, waving a hand dismissively. "We'll wash it again for free. This is the most fun we've had out here all day."

Ben smiled. "Thanks." He turned to Felicity and raised his eyebrows. "Double washing. I bet even Mickey never double washes The Baby."

Felicity dimpled, surveying their waterlogged appearances. "I think we're going to have to air dry before we get back in."

Ben looked around the shopping center. "Why don't we pick up some groceries for the road? We still have a way to go, but if we drive all day, we could be there by tonight."

"Wait. I've _got_ to get a picture of this," she said, laughter bubbling up again. She opened the car door and grabbed her backpack off the seat, extracting her camera. She came back and stood beside Ben, holding the camera at arm's length pointing back at them. He bent lower so that they stood cheek to cheek with matching grins, and she took the picture. "I am making _so_ many copies of that when we get home, and everyone we know is getting one," she snickered.

He hooked his arm around her shoulders. "I don't think so."

"Oh, I do," she retorted, giving him a knowing smirk.

Ben tugged her closer and planted a kiss on her lips.

- - - - -

They made good time through Ohio with Felicity driving. Halfway through the state, Ben saw her getting tired and took over. He drove with one hand resting on the steering wheel and the other holding hers. They didn't speak much, but this time it was a comfortable silence, rather than the charged ones of the past couple days. Instead of feeling they should fill the silence with words, they were content to let the radio do it.

Their exit was coming up soon. Felicity stirred. She raised her head and opened her eyes, blinking owlishly. "Where are we?"

"Still on the road," he murmured. "You can go back to sleep, if you want."

She came fully awake with a stretch. "No. I don't want to miss any of our trip."

He smiled at that. "You're not missing much but long stretches of asphalt right now. Unless you count what's left of the Twinkies we bought."

"Eugggh," she replied, casting a glance at the grocery bag on the floor by her feet. "Do you know what kind of shelf life those things have? _Forever._"

"Don't knock my Twinkies," he shot back.

Stifling a giggle, she rummaged in the bag for an apple and crunched into it. "Do you want me to drive again?"

"No, we're almost there. Can you get the directions to the hotel out?"

Setting the apple down in her lap, she picked up their travel book and flipped through it to find the sheet of looseleaf tucked inside and read off the directions.

"The Basketball Hall of Fame is actually outside the city. What do you say we see that in the morning and catch a race at the Speedway in the afternoon?"

"Sure," she replied, picking up her camera from the seat of the car.

"Hey, let me see that," Ben said.

With a puzzled grin, she handed it over. "What are you going to do with it while you're driving?"

"Hold the wheel."

"What?"

"Hold the wheel, hold the wheel."

Felicity scooted closer and grabbed it.

Ben grinned and held up the camera. "Say _cheese_."

She gaped. "What? Ben, you're nuts! Take the wheel!"

The car veered. Ben laughed and steadied the wheel with one hand.

"You're crazy," she beamed.

Ben snapped her smiling picture. "You don't get to take _all_ the pictures on this vacation, you know."

Still giggling, she snatched her camera back from him. "I'm starting to think you driving is a very bad idea."

"Oh, first you knock my Twinkies, now you knock my driving. See if I take you on any more cross-country trips," he scolded.

"You will _need_ me with you to fold the road maps," Felicity retorted, indicating the haphazardly folded map on the seat. "Wherever you go, _you_ need an expert map folder." She picked up her apple and took another bite.

"Wherever I go, you will be my official map folder, then," he informed her.

She snickered and took his hand again.


	7. Indianapolis

7 – Indianapolis

Felicity lugged her bags up the stairs of their hotel. Ben had already gone up to check in and unlock the door. She had been delayed getting upstairs by searching for a missing pair of shoes for tomorrow, which turned up loose in the trunk of the car.

She paced down the hall and stopped at room 256 with a deep breath. She and Ben had really connected at last, the way she always hoped and felt they would. For years, she'd dreamed that if they just got to know each other, the rest would fall into place.

Now that it had, she was terrified. Kissing Ben at the museum today had changed everything. She felt it deep in the pit of her stomach. Did Ben feel that, too? Was he even half as nervous as she was right now? With another shaky breath, she opened the door.

Ben was rummaging in his bag. He smiled and stood up when she entered. "No blue carpet on the walls. Classy, huh?"

She gave him an edgy smile. "Yeah. Very classy. The lack of three different mirrors over the bed really gives it that extra something."

Ben rounded the bed and took her hand. "I thought at least one leg of this trip we should stay at a halfway decent hotel. Are you hungry at all? I can order us something while you're in the shower."

Blushing now, she cast her eyes downward. "No, I'm fine."

He bent to give her a gentle kiss. "See you in a few, then?"

"Yeah."

Ben sat on the bed and flipped the television on. Felicity walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

When she finished her shower, she opened the door again. Ben had changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt. Hovering in the bathroom doorway, she smiled. "We kind of have this system down, don't we?"

He grinned and turned the television off. "Yeah, I guess we do." Noticing she hadn't moved, he added, "You going to stay there all night?"

Her stomach flipped over. "Uh, no." She came toward the bed and sat down.

Ben shifted and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His shoulder brushed hers. "What's the matter?"

She glanced at him, then back to the floor. "Nothing."

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

She gave an adamant shake of her head, "No. Why would I be nervous? I'm not nervous."

"Felicity."

She looked up.

Ben raised a hand to her cheek and kissed her. Pulling back, he smiled. "There's no pressure here. I'm just happy we're doing this trip together."

"I told you, I'm not n—"

"Yeah. I heard what you said, but you're shaking."

He was right. She gripped her knees. "It's just…different, now.  I—I don't think I'm ready to—with you."

His mouth curled upward. "That's _fine_ with me, I swear." He slid backward on the bed until his back was propped against the headboard. "Come here."

She eyed him.

"I'm not going to do anything. Just come here," he urged her.

She crawled across the bed and Ben gathered her into his arms. Felicity leaned back against his chest.

Ben rested his chin on top of her head. "See? This is it. We're doing everything I wanted to do tonight, right here." He gave her a gentle squeeze.

Felicity smiled, relieved at his response, but the feel of his arms around her and his solid warmth against her back started her trembling again. "I just don't want you to think—I mean, it's not that I don't want…" She drew away to look at him. "It's different with you. I mean, it will be. _Would_ be. If we…" She trailed off helplessly with her face burning.

He chuckled. "I don't know why you're so worried about this. I'm not."

She opened her mouth to answer, couldn't find anything to say, and closed it again. A minute later, she said, "Th-Thank you."

He pulled her close again and kissed her hair. "You're welcome."

They talked for the rest of the night, about anything and everything. Felicity shared some of her favorite high school memories. Ben told her about his track and swimming experiences. "The first time I saw you was actually at a track meet in ninth grade," he said.

"You remember that?"

"Yeah. You were sitting in the stands, wearing this bright green tank top and talking to some girl."

"Shelly Feldmeier. You came in first that day," she nodded, smiling. "Shelly thought you were cute. She was going to try and get your number after the meet, but you left before she could get the nerve to ask you for it."

Ben sobered. "Yeah, my mom needed me. She—She had to go to the hospital and get stitches."

Felicity sensed a touchy subject. She lowered her voice to a soft murmur. "Why?"

"My dad," he sighed. "He was drinking again."

Recognizing his unwillingness to continue on that subject, she changed it. "The first time _I_ saw _you_ was across the cafeteria." She grinned at the memory. "You were with a bunch of other guys, laughing about something." She gave him an embarrassed look. "I drew a portrait of you after that, for an art class."

Ben raised an eyebrow at her. "Really?"

"Yeah. There was just something about you, something about the way you smiled, and…I don't know, I liked it. We were supposed to do a live model, but I never actually talked to you, so I used your yearbook picture. The teacher gave it a really good grade. I worked hard on that drawing. I wanted it to look just like you."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then amused. "Shelly Feldmeier had a crush on me?"

"Yes," Felicity huffed. "Shelly Feldmeier. Are you listening at all to my story?"

He laughed and gave her another squeeze. "Yes. I'm listening. Go on."

"Anyway, Mr. DiGesare wanted to submit it to a school competition, so I framed it and left it in the studio for him to send in. The next day, I found out someone had spilled paint all over it and ruined it. I was so mad. It took me a long time to finish it, and it was totally wrecked. I mean, it was one of the best drawings I had ever done."

At this, Ben grinned. "Have you got your sketchbook with you?"

"Yeah. It's in my backpack. Why?"

He straightened up where he sat. "Draw me."

"What?"

"Draw me. I want to see you draw me. I never got to see the first one, and you never asked me to sit down for it, so here I am."

She burst into a smile. A happy warmth flooded her from the center out. She clambered off the bed toward her backpack, needing no further persuasion.

- - - - -

Daybreak stole quietly into the room around the edges of the curtain. A single stray beam crept across the floor, where Felicity's sketchbook lay open on not one, but three portraits of Ben: one smiling, one serious, and one sleeping. Pencils and erasers lay scattered around the sketchbook.

Felicity herself lay on her side, sound asleep. Ben was curled behind her with his arm over her. He was awake, with his head propped up on his other hand, looking down at her slumbering face. He smiled and brushed a lock of her hair off her cheek. She sighed in her sleep. Her mouth curled upward ever so slightly. Ben gathered her closer against him and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

She stirred and opened her eyes. "Hey."

"Hey," he whispered. "How did you sleep?"

She stretched, slow and catlike. "Better than I can ever remember. I had the nicest dream. How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful, I just couldn't," he admitted. Craning his neck over her body, he cast a look at the sketchbook on the floor. "You did a nice job on those. I like them." A dimple appeared in his cheek. "Even if they are of me."

She giggled and rolled onto her back. "You have a great smile. It was always one of my favorite things about you in high school."

He looked surprised and pleased. "You had favorite things about me?"

She flashed an embarrassed grin. "I loved to watch you run, too. You looked so happy when you were running."

"Yeah," he murmured thoughtfully, stroking her hair. He laid back down against his pillow. "I don't know if I ever told you this, but I'm really glad you came to New York."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said again. "I mean, I had a lot of friends in high school…but no one like you. I guess what I'm trying to say is…thank you. Being friends with you has meant a lot to me this past year."

Felicity warmed all over. "Me, too."

He kissed her again, and she snuggled into the hollow of his arm.

- - - - -

"Did you see the way that car flipped around after the other one hit it? That was wild!" exclaimed Ben. "I thought there was going to be a total pileup."

"I know. And after the race, he just got out and walked away. How do they get the nerve to _do_ that? It's crazy!" She made a face. "Plus, my ears are ringing from all the noise. They should give out earplugs at those things."

"I don't hear you complaining about the money you won," he teased.

Felicity brightened. "In that respect, I'd say the Speedway was better than the Basketball Hall of Fame. How about some take-out? My treat. I saw a Chinese restaurant a few blocks down from our hotel. Maybe we can find a cheesy late-night movie on T.V. and groan about it over some fried rice."

"Sounds perfect," he smiled.

From the Speedway, they went to the restaurant and ordered their take-out. When they arrived back at the hotel, Felicity turned the television on and found a channel that was playing all-night creature features. They sat on the bed to watch.

Munching on a bite of eggroll, Ben asked, "So if you had the choice between being attacked by a vampire, a werewolf, or a mummy, which would it be?"

"A mummy? Ewww. Definitely a werewolf."

"Why a werewolf?"

"Because if I threw a bone in the other direction, maybe he'd get distracted and I could run away." She laughed, tossing an imaginary toy in the air. "Fetch, wolfie, fetch!"

"I'd pick a vampire," he decided.

Felicity cringed. "Ugh. Vampires."

Ben set his container of fried rice on the nightstand and made a playfully menacing gesture toward her. "You don't vant me to bite your ne-e-e-ck?"

Felicity giggled and arched away from him. Ben made a melodramatic hissing noise and grabbed her. She squeaked and tried to get away, but he tightened his arms around her. They looked at each other, still snickering, and fell silent, staring into each other's eyes.

She smiled. "This has been the best summer."

"It's hardly even started," laughed Ben.

"That's the best part about it," she beamed.


	8. St Louis

8 – St. Louis

Felicity got into the car and drained the last of her bottle of apple juice. Studying the empty container, she asked, "Remember how you said you and your friends used to spin a bottle on the road to see where you were going to go next?"

Ben started the engine. "Yeah. Why?"

"I was just thinking it might be fun to try that. I mean, I know we have to basically go west, but we didn't really pick our next stop until Yellowstone." She gave him an adventurous grin. "Want to try it? We can just re-spin it if it points back east."

Ben matched her grin. "Yeah, let's do it."

- - - - -

Their spinning bottle pointed them unerringly southwest, as though it had known all along that St. Louis ought to be their next destination. They arrived in the early afternoon with the tank low on gas.

"There. There's a gas station up ahead," Felicity said, pointing to a sign labeled _Mighty Mart_ at the corner of an intersection.

Ben pulled into the parking lot and drew alongside one of the gas pumps.

Felicity got out of the car with him. "Do you want anything from inside?"

"Um…If they have pizza, a slice would be great."

She giggled. "Better be careful about getting sauce on the upholstery, then. Mickey might never forgive us if we blemish The Baby."

He laughed and turned to the gas pump. Looking back over his shoulder, he added, "We'll just eat here. A quick pit-stop before we look for our next motel."

Felicity entered the store to get their pizza and beverages. As an afterthought, she grabbed a package of Twinkies for Ben and a chocolate bar for herself. _I'm learning so many little things about him that I never even thought to question until this trip,_ she reflected. _It's funny. He was kind of this one-dimensional crush in high school. All I really knew was that he liked track and swimming. Now I know he loves Twinkies and can't stand olives or anchovies on his pizza. And he's a light sleeper…a lot lighter than me._ Her pensive smile faded. _And I know that's because of his father. He said he used to wake in the middle of the night to his dad yelling at his mom, and run out of his bedroom to try and protect her. _She admired the strength that had enabled Ben to get through such a childhood and become the man he was in spite of it. _He's so much better than he gives himself credit for. He's wonderful, and he doesn't even realize it._

She paid for her purchases and exited the building with her smile restored.

"You look happy," he said, coming toward her across the parking lot.

She beamed at him, setting their food on a café table out front of the building. "I am happy."

"Well, that much happy deserves a picture," he determined, and caught the attention of a woman leaving the building, handing her Felicity's camera.

Felicity stood next to Ben and smiled. Before the woman could take the picture, Ben swept Felicity up and threw her over his shoulder. Felicity laughed aloud. Ben turned sideways so that the camera caught both of them, wearing identical grins, and the woman snapped the photo.

Ben swung her down and set her back on her feet, chuckling. He accepted her camera back from the woman, thanking her, then turned to their food. "You got me Twinkies," he observed, sounding pleased.

"I thought it would be good penance for making fun of your addiction to them," she snickered.

He gave her a look of mock severity. "Apology accepted." He opened the box on top to sniff appreciatively at the pizza within. He lifted his slice and took a bite. "This isn't bad. Better than the stuff we get down the street from Sean's place."

"You mean _Mario's_? I always thought their pizza was pretty good."

"Try saying that after Sean 'perfects' it by topping it with one of his food inventions," he deadpanned.

_"Eeeughh."_

"Exactly."

As they ate, Felicity noticed a number of flyers posted on a community bulletin board outside the store. "There's a block party going on tonight downtown."

Ben craned around to follow her gaze to the bulletin board. "_You_ want to go to a block party?"

His tone made her glare at him. "I _do_ like to go to parties now and then."

At this, Ben's doubtful expression changed to one of amused acceptance. "Okay. Let's find a motel first, then, and get checked in."

After lunch, they drove around town, pausing to see the St. Louis Gateway Arch. At length, they found a motel that would fit their budget. Weighted down with her bags, Felicity struggled to open the door.

Ben reached around her and opened the door for her, giving her a grin when she thanked him.

The door swung open to reveal an interior that hadn't seen redecoration since the sixties. "Ewww," Felicity declared, eyeing the horrible pea-green carpet and matching psychedelic bedspread. She entered the room.

"Well, at least it's not on the walls, too," Ben pointed out, setting his bags on the bed. "Besides, you can kind of ignore it if you shut your eyes."

Felicity dropped her bags into a chair in the corner. "I think, by the end of this trip, you and I are going to be experts in finding the ugliest motel rooms in the United States."

Ben chuckled and hooked an arm around her waist to pull her closer. "I don't care what the room looks like. I'm not going to be looking at the room." He bent close for an affectionate kiss.

Felicity blushed.

- - - - -

The block party, as it turned out, was sponsored by one of the local college fraternities. An entire block of frat houses vibrated with music and glowed from within like outrageous party candles. Felicity couldn't believe her eyes. "How are they doing this on a _Tuesday_ and still managing to stay in college?"

"I don't know," Ben answered as they walked up the street.

A group of young men who had obviously begun the festivities early came blundering down the sidewalk. One of them, a beefy redhead with a black T-shirt, plowed directly into Felicity.

She staggered back with a look of surprise. Ben grabbed her elbow to steady her. The redhead babbled a semi-coherent apology before he and his friends continued past.

Felicity and Ben got several yards further away from them. Felicity sighed and shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. "I guess it's universal. College guys are—" Her eyes went round as saucers. "Oh, my God. My wallet! My wallet's gone!"

Ben jerked to a halt with an angry look. "Those guys. I bet they stole it when they ran into you!" He swung around and started running after the fraternity boys. "Hey! Stop!"

Alarmed, Felicity chased after him. "Ben! No, there's too many of them! Ben!"

Years of running track paid off. Ben caught up with them in no time, with no sign of being out of breath. "Hey! I said stop!"

The group turned to face him. With an amiable drawl, the dark-haired man in front slurred, "Whazz yer problem, man?"

"Her wallet. I want her wallet back," Ben growled.

Not surprisingly, the man retorted with, "What wallet?"

"The wallet the redheaded kid took from the girl back there," clarified Ben, straightening his shoulders and jerking a thumb behind him.

The redhead came to the front of the group with a vicious glare. "Are you accusing me of stealing?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm accusing you of," Ben shot back.

Felicity came to a halt beside Ben, puffing. "Come on, let's just go," she murmured nervously, eyeing the group. There were five of them, all at least Ben's size, a couple of them considerably larger. "Please? I can cancel the cards."

"Better listen to your girlfriend, hero. We don't have no wallet," sneered the redhead.

Bristling, Ben advanced. "Empty your pockets, if you're so honest."

The redhead growled. "Get the hell out of here, man."

"Listen, we ain't out here for trouble," said the dark-haired one in front. "Run along, now, hero." An unpleasant leer drew his lips back as he advanced toward Felicity. "Your girlfriend can stick around if she wants."

Ben sidestepped in front of her, his expression changing in a flash from irritation to outright warning.

Felicity shivered. Her breath rasped and came out in a whisper. "Ben—"

"Whassa matter?" laughed the dark-haired man. "Curly Top don't wanna play?"

The redhead held something up: Felicity's wallet. "Oh, is _this_ what you wanted? Geez, how'd that get there?" He and his friends snickered. "Here, catch!" He tossed it into the air.

Felicity moved out from behind Ben to catch it. Startled, Ben reached for her arm and missed.

The dark-haired man grabbed her outstretched arm, making her yelp in indignation. "Come on, Curly Top, let's go party!" He tried to drag her with him.

Ben lunged and drove his fist into the man's face.

The group erupted into a tangle of flying fists. Felicity screamed. Lights went on in the frat houses nearby. Someone dove for Ben and knocked her to the ground. She struck her head on the sidewalk and blacked out.


	9. Sigma Epsilon

9 – Sigma Epsilon

Felicity opened her eyes to total blackness and wondered for a second whether she'd regained consciousness after all. Then she realized she was staring at an overcast, dark sky.

Her hearing sharpened, bringing the low murmur of several voices on all sides. She looked down at herself. Blood spattered the front of her shirt. She opened her mouth to speak and couldn't. Instead, she tried to rise.

Ben's face immediately came into her field of view. "Hey," he said, his brow knotted with worry. The corner of his mouth was bleeding. He reached to help her up. The knuckles of his right hand were bandaged, and the wrappings were darkening with bloodstains. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head and instantly regretted the motion. With a stifled moan, she rubbed her sore crown. "Are you?"

"No. Some kids saw the fight and broke it up before it got much worse." He reached an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to her feet.

She teetered uncertainly for a moment, still groggy, and leaned into him for balance.

Ben continued to hold onto her even when her balance returned. "I got your wallet. The cash is gone, but your cards and stuff are still there. Those jerks took off."

Felicity finally noticed the group of curious faces surrounding them. She hesitated. "Ah…Thank you?"

A blond girl came forward. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you need to call someone? I have a cell phone."

"No. Thanks," Felicity replied. "Some water though, maybe."

"Sure," interjected a lanky brown-haired man with a snake tattoo on one forearm. "My frat's two doors down. Why don't you guys come with us?"

Felicity looked up at Ben and he gave her a reassuring nod. They started away with the group.

- - - - -

Standing in the Sigma Epsilon kitchen, Felicity sipped at a glass of water and let the coolness slide down her throat. Muffled music boomed from the living room. Ben didn't move more than five feet from her side.

"Man, I'm sorry about that. I didn't see the guys who did it or I'd report them," said the man with the snake tattoo. "My name's Cliff, by the way."

"Thanks anyway, Cliff," Ben rumbled, shaking the man's hand and grimacing faintly at the discomfort of his split knuckles. "This is Felicity. I'm Ben."

The blond girl came into the kitchen, handing Ben a wet washcloth. "I'm Hailey. Did you guys want a ride somewhere?"

Ben shook his head, accepting the washcloth to clean the blood from the corner of his mouth. "We're parked just down the street. We'll stick around for a little while, if that's okay."

"Absolutely," Cliff grinned. "There's a total excess of food out there. Come on out into the living room when you're done cleaning up, and we'll introduce you around." He and Hailey ducked out of the kitchen.

Ben turned to Felicity, and his eyes softened with concern. "I'm sorry about your money."

"It was only the rest of the Speedway money. I'm more worried about you." She frowned at the bloody bandage on his hand. "That was really dangerous…and brave. Thank you."

He stroked her cheek with his good hand. "I just didn't want them to hurt you."

Her lip trembled and she bit it. "I walk along the street in New York every day and nothing happens. One night in St. Louis, and look at us. I'm all full of somebody's blood, and you—" She sucked in a breath and blinked back tears. "I'm sorry. I'm being a baby about this. We're both fine, I know."

He rinsed the washcloth in the sink and handed it to her. "It's okay to be scared, Felicity."

She took the washcloth and dabbed at her shirt. "Palo Alto suddenly seems so safe. I kind of wish we were already there."

Ben circled his arms around her. "You _are_ safe now. I wouldn't let anything happen to you, I promise. Do you want to go back to the motel?"

"No. We're here now. We can stay, it's okay." Her fingertips brushed the chain at her throat, and she gave him a wry smile. "At least no one tried to take my necklace this time." At his dubious look, she dropped her hand and added, "Ben, I'll be fine. Really."

The corner of his mouth curled upward in a smile. "As long as we're here, then, let's see about something to eat."

They rejoined Cliff and Hailey in the living room, which was packed to bursting with talking, drinking, dancing, and flirting college students. The music, louder now, blared from a stereo at one end of the room.

Cliff handed each of them a beer and ushered them toward a table jammed with food of all kinds. When they had each been armed with pizza and wings, he asked, "Are you guys students here?"

"No. We go to UNY," Ben answered over the noise.

"UNY! I heard their track team is _stellar_," nodded Cliff.

Interested, Ben asked, "You run?"

"Yeah. I finished third this year in the state finals."

"That's great," grinned Ben.

Just like that, he and Cliff launched into an animated conversation about the ups and downs of running track, bantering like old friends. Felicity began to feel left out.

"He's a total junkie, isn't he?" Hailey said, breaking into her thoughts. "Get him going on running, and he won't stop until your eyes glaze over. He does it to me all the time."

Felicity laughed.

Dimpling, Hailey asked, "If you go to UNY, how come you're in St. Louis?"

"We're driving cross-country on our way home to California for the summer," explained Felicity.

"And you went to school in New York? That's some change."

Felicity took a drink of her beer. "Yeah. Not exactly what I planned, originally. Going to UNY was sort of a last-minute decision."

"Did you hate the snow?"

"No. It was nice, actually _having_ snow. Why are you all still here if summer's started?"

Hailey brushed a golden lock of hair away from her face. "This is the last party before summer break. Some of the frat guys even stay in the houses over the summer. Cliff has a job here, so we usually stick around anyway."

Watching Cliff and Ben laughing over some inside joke, Felicity asked, "How long have you two been together?"

"A couple years. What about you and Ben?"

Reddening, Felicity studied her feet. "We're, uh…I'm not sure exactly _what_ we are."

"What do you mean?"

"He's sort of the reason UNY was a last minute decision for me. I went there because of him, because I liked him." She took a huge bite of pizza and chewed self-consciously.

"Obviously, he likes you back," grinned Hailey.

"I guess so," Felicity mumbled around her pizza. It stuck in her throat, and she took another gulp of beer to wash it down. Her ears felt like they were on fire.

Hailey turned her lake-blue gaze on Felicity, seeming to notice her appearance for the first time. "Do you want to borrow a shirt?"

"What?"

"There's still blood on your shirt. I mean, it looks okay I guess, but maybe…?" She waved a hand at Felicity's attire.

If she hadn't felt uncomfortable before, Felicity did now. _I must look awful._ She tried tucking her hair behind her ear, but it came loose again in unruly waves. She put her food on the corner of a table and gave Hailey a too-bright smile. "Yeah, a shirt would be great."

- - - - -

Ben couldn't have said how he knew, but he was aware of the exact moment when Felicity left the room. His eyes swept the crowd without finding her and he straightened where he stood, looking more carefully. "Hang on, Cliff," he muttered, setting his beer down. "I'll be right back."

"All right, man. The john's upstairs and down the hall!" Cliff hollered after him.

Ben skirted around the edges of the room, but Felicity was nowhere to be found. He wended his way through the crowd with growing apprehension, circling through the entire ground floor of the house without finding her.

Oh his way up to the second floor, he came upon the same dark-haired man who had been harassing Felicity outside, standing on the corner at the top of the stairs. He was harassing someone now; his voice rose over the crowd, plaintive and pleading by turns. Ben made a disgusted face. Obviously, his target didn't want to go for the drive he was attempting to convince her to take with him. "Come on, I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. Let's blow this party and go somewhere else."

"I said _no_. Will you just leave me alone?"

Ben's ears perked up at the sound of Felicity's voice. He swept up the rest of the steps, rounded the man's back, and inserted himself between them. He noticed with some satisfaction the darkening bruise over the man's eye. "What's it going to take for you to go away?"

The man scowled. "Get out of here. I'm talking to the lady—"

"She's with me," interrupted Ben, "and she said no. That pretty much means no."

"I'm going to kick your ass. Right here, right now," the man snarled, puffing up.

Ben shook his head slowly. "We are not doing this." He reached an arm around Felicity, urging her silently toward the steps. She gave him a grateful look as she went.

Seeing them, Hailey came down the hall and took Felicity's hand, towing her away down the steps with a look of mute understanding at Ben.

Ben moved to follow, but the man blocked his way with an arm across his path. "We _are_ doing this, hero. Now."

Impatiently, Ben sighed. "Put your arm down, man."

"Just who the hell do you think you are, anyway? Her guard dog?"

"Look, whatever your problem is, we've got nothing to do with it." Ben reached to push the man's arm out of his way.

The man reacted by taking a fistful of Ben's shirt and shoving him backward. Ben staggered and glared at him.

"McIntosh!"

At this, the man spun around and looked down the steps.

Cliff stood at the bottom with three other guys, all of them looking irritated. "Do you mind getting out of my house?"

"Oh, stay out of this. You have _nothing_ to do with it, Killenbeck."

Cliff didn't look impressed. "I think you're wrong on that. You're messing with my guests. You going to find the door, or do we have to make you find it?"

With his odds diminishing at five to one, the man stormed down the stairs and shoved his way between Cliff and one of the other guys. At a nod from Cliff, one of them went to make sure McIntosh left the party.

Ben descended the stairs with a rueful grimace. "Thanks."

"_De nada_, man. That guy's been giving us crap all year long," Cliff explained. "He's from Delta Phi. One of my brothers blew him in to administration for a hazing prank and he took it kind of personal-like." They made their way through the living room, back to where Felicity and Hailey sat talking on a couch. Cliff grinned. "What is this, a still-life? This is a party. Liven up!" He distributed a new round of drinks and plucked Hailey off the couch. "Let's dance, darlin'."

Hailey laughed and waved at Felicity as she was swept off into the crowd.

Ben watched Felicity laughing back and wished suddenly that he were a better dancer.


	10. Almost

10 – Almost

It was late by the time they returned to the motel. Whether or not he'd been teasing at the time, Ben was right when he said they weren't going to notice the décor of the room. Both of them were bone-tired. "Thanks for what you did with my wallet," she said as he closed the door.

"Yeah. Next time, maybe we'll avoid the block parties," he smiled back.

Felicity stifled a yawn. "I could sleep for a week."

Ben moved toward the bed. "Yeah, me too." He pulled back the covers.

In the next instant, he swore and jumped a good six feet back from the bed.

Felicity paled. "What? What is it?"

"That's the biggest freaking spider I've ever seen!"

She'd never heard Ben flip out like that. Felicity crept toward the bed. Sure enough, a hairy black spider with a three-inch leg span sat in the middle of the bed as if daring them to get in. Felicity's eyes shot wide open. It began to crawl toward the bunched sheets with a leisurely sort of audacity. Ben grabbed a copy of _People_ off the nightstand and raised it to strike. She scowled. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to squash it."

"Don't squash it!"

"Why not? You want it to stay there?"

Felicity looked horrified. "Well…You'll get spider guts all over the bed! Besides…it's _mean_."

Ben huffed in exasperation, but the spider began crawling faster.

"Quick, get a cup or something!" she shouted.

He ran to the bathroom and came back with a cup, which he clapped over the top of the spider before it could get away. He thrust the magazine underneath the cup with a grimace of distaste and Felicity hurried to open the motel room door.

He was almost out the door with the whole works when the magazine slipped and the spider got loose, crawling swiftly up Ben's arm. He gave the most alarming shriek she'd ever heard and leaped into the air, slapping frantically at his arm. The cup and the magazine went flying onto the floor. "Where is it? Get it off! Where'd it go?" Ben shouted, spinning in a circle and looking for the escapee.

"Wait! Wait! I got it! It's on your neck, hold still!"

"WELL, GET IT OFF ME!"

Felicity burst into fits of giggling. Scooping the magazine up from the floor, she swiped at Ben's neck. The spider landed on the carpet, skittering back into the room. Yelping in between giggles, Felicity swept the spider out the door.

Ben was red to his ears. He grabbed the door and was about to slam it shut when the motel manager flew in, puffing and out of breath with his bathrobe and slippers on. "What's the matter? Is someone hurt? What?"

Felicity made a valiant effort to stifle her laughter. "We're fine. There was a spider. I'm sorry. We sort of freaked out about it." More giggles escaped, and Ben glared at her.

The manager looked doubtful. "Everyone is okay?"

Ben crossed his arms. "That was a _huge_ spider. How do we know it wasn't poisonous? I don't know if I want to stay here."

Felicity managed to paste a grave expression on her face, which seemed only to make Ben glare harder at her.

"I'll give you the room for free," the manager sputtered. "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry about this." He gave Ben a scrutinizing look. "Are you _sure_ you're all right, sir?"

Ben did look a little green. Felicity bit the inside of her cheek.

"I'm fine. Free is fine, too. We'll pick up our money in the morning," Ben grumbled. The manager backed out of the room with more apologies, which Ben accepted with surprising dignity before shutting the door. He turned around and gave Felicity yet another fuming look. "It was _a huge spider_."

Felicity lost all pretense of composure and collapsed onto the bed, laughing until tears rolled down her face.

"I'm glad you think this is funny," he snarled. "You could be sitting in that bed with a bunch of his creepy-crawly friends right now."

Felicity yelped again and shot to her feet, tumbling into Ben.

He finally cracked a smile. "See? I'm not the only one who's freaked out."

They stared at each other until their eyes watered and burst into laughter again.

- - - - -

Sometime during the night, Felicity woke to an empty bed. "Ben?"

There was no answer. The clock on the nightstand read 2:23 A.M. A look toward the bathroom confirmed that there was no light on; Ben wasn't in there, either. Felicity got up and looked out the window into the parking lot.

The car was gone, too. _I wonder where he went._ She shrugged and decided that since she was up, she might as well take a shower. She gathered her things and went into the bathroom.

Her head was still sore where she'd struck it on the sidewalk earlier that evening. The cool water felt soothing on her scalp. _We could have really gotten hurt today. I can't believe he ran after those guys. What if something had happened to him?_ She shivered under the shower spray.

When she finished her shower, she wrapped a towel around herself and went back out into the bedroom to get a clean T-shirt and shorts. While she pawed through her suitcase, she heard the key turning in the door lock. She grabbed a fistful of clothes and rushed toward the bathroom again.

The door swung open. Ben froze in the doorway as he caught sight of her wearing only the towel. "Whoa! Sorry."

Felicity's feet rooted to the spot where she stood not three feet from him, and she clutched her towel and the bundle of clothes tighter. "Shut the door!"

Ben spun around and shoved the door shut as though he'd been zapped with a cattle prod. "I'm sorry. Do you want me to go back outside? I'll go back outside." He started to open the door again.

"Don't be ridiculous," stammered Felicity. "Just…_stay there_ until I get into the bathroom." She edged around the bed with her heart thundering.

As she passed behind him, Ben turned around and fixed her with a smoldering look that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. She halted and opened her mouth to say something and didn't. A trickle of water from her wet hair dripped onto her shoulder. She saw the pulse speeding in the hollow of his throat. _Is he going to…? Are we…?_

His gaze flickered from her mouth to her eyes and back again. Felicity didn't dare breathe. He took a step forward.

She heard the door click open. "I'll be outside," Ben murmured. He backed quickly out of the room and shut the door again.

Her breath whooshed out of her and she deflated. Half of her was convinced she should open the door and ask him to come back into the room. The other half was just as sure she had better not. Her skin prickled with electricity and indecision. She hesitated and put a hand on the doorknob. Thinking better of it, she turned and went into the bathroom.

On the other side of the door, Ben heaved a sigh of mixed relief and went back to the car. He took his basketball out of the trunk and spun it on the tip of his finger, leaning back against the car door.

He had almost decided to go for a drive when the motel door opened and Felicity came out wearing a tank top and denim shorts. Ben still didn't feel any less inclined to go forward and act on his earlier impulses. The towel seemed to have covered more of her than what she wore now. He squelched that treacherous thought and shuffled his foot with restless energy. "You want to go for a drive?"

She wrinkled her nose at him, which only made him want to kiss her more. "_Now?_ Is that where you were earlier? Out driving?"

"Yeah. Let's go." He started around the car without waiting for her answer, shifting the basketball under his arm.

"Ben, is something wrong?" She moved to lay a hand on his arm in concern.

He jerked away as if she were a rattlesnake. "Felicity, you _really_ don't want to get too close to me right now."

She went red, then white, and stepped hastily back to let him pass. "Oh," she whispered.

He saw her fumble to push a wet lock of her hair behind her ear. Ben stared at her fingers as they brushed her neck. Spinning away, he went around the car to the driver's side. With the car between them, he breathed easier. She went to lock the door. Ben shifted the basketball into his other hand. His fingertips, hypersensitive with agitation, picked up every ridge and bump in the ball's surface. _Running.__ I need to go running. Swimming. Basketball. Anything._ He opened the car door and dropped into the driver's seat, putting the ball on the seat beside him and starting the car.

Felicity opened the passenger door and slid into the seat, still looking sidelong at him. "Where are we going?"

"Don't know," he muttered, slamming the car into reverse and pulling out of the parking lot faster than Baby had probably ever been driven before.


	11. Play Ball

11 – Play Ball

_I feel like such an idiot. I should say something. He won't even look at me. What could I possibly say?_ Felicity hunched into her seat. Ben sat as far from her as possible, almost crammed against the driver door. _If he wanted to get away from me so badly, why did he ask me to go with him?_ "Did you want to go play basketball?" she ventured, gesturing to the ball on the seat between them.

"Yeah, we could do that," he shot back, as if he'd been waiting all along for her to ask. "Cliff said the campus courts are usually open." He turned down another street, following the signs to the college campus.

For the entire drive, she could get no further conversation from him. They parked at the campus courts and went through the chain link gates in silence. Ben dribbled the basketball on the pavement, looking even more fidgety than he had earlier.

Felicity gave an inward grimace. _Is he not going to talk to me all night?_ She thought for a minute, deciding on a safe conversation, then she smiled and held up her hands for the ball. Ben bounced it to her, and she sprinted toward the basket with it.

"Hey, that's traveling!" he barked, chasing after her.

Felicity grinned. _At least that's something!_ Laughing, she jumped up and sank the ball in one swoop.

"That doesn't count, cheater," rumbled Ben, grabbing the ball as it dropped through the basket.

"It counts in Porter rules," she replied haughtily.

Ben's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, Porter rules. You can travel in Porter rules." He bounced the ball again.

"Yes, you can." She went toward him, still grinning. "You also get another shot when you make a basket."

Ben held the ball over his head, using his height to keep it out of her reach with an innocent look. "Really?"

She grabbed at the ball twice before crossing her arms and fixing him with a glare. "Yes."

Ben dodged around her, speeding toward the basket without dribbling the ball.

_"Hey!"_ Felicity sprinted after him, but he leapt into a perfect layup before she got there and dropped the ball in. "Gimme that back!" she laughed.

"I made the shot. I get another one," he snarked, grabbing the ball again.

"Oh, you are so going to get it!"

Ben laughed and turned around, guarding the ball. Felicity darted under his arm and knocked it away, running across the court with it. She heard him coming after her and ran faster, giggling. Ben reached around her for the ball, and she raced away toward the basket.

By the time they grew tired, the birds had begun singing. Felicity looked up and noticed that the sky had lightened just enough to pick out the silhouettes of trees and buildings. "Wow. I haven't stayed out this late in forever."

Ben tucked the basketball under his arm and gestured to the track outside the basketball courts. "Let's go sit in the bleachers."

On the way there, Felicity asked, "So where did you go last night?"

"Just drove around the city for a while. Saw the Gateway Arch. I couldn't sleep."

The Gateway Arch. A monument that, for many, symbolized the passage into the Western United States. Felicity felt like their trip was half over before it had even begun.

They reached the bleachers and climbed to the top to sit down and catch their breath. The sky began to take on the muted greys of dawn. "I'm sorry about earlier," she ventured at last.

He set the basketball between his feet, not looking at her. "Don't worry about it. It's my fault. I should have knocked or something."

Feeling awkward now, Felicity shuffled her feet on the bench below. "I'll just take everything into the bathroom with me from now on."

The few clouds went from grey to champagne pink. She tapped her feet again and wondered suddenly if Noel was having a good time in Berlin. _I wonder if he—_

Ben's hand touched her face, turning it toward him. He kissed her gently, and all her thoughts vanished like dissipating smoke. His breath misted warm on her face in the cool air. His other hand came to rest against her cheek. She heard the basketball bounce away down the bleachers. His mouth felt soft against hers, almost questioning. She shivered.

Ben drew away, his hands still cupping her face. The sunrise cast a red-gold glow across his features. She saw the same question in his eyes that she'd felt in his kiss, and her shivers multiplied. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, and got to his feet. "We should—We should probably get going."

"Yeah. I'll drive. You can catch some sleep in the car this morning." Before she could say anything further, Ben had started down the bleachers after his basketball. The outlines of his figure glowed in the rising sun. He reached the bottom row of bleachers and stepped off onto the track below. She stared at the way he moved and remembered how much she'd always liked seeing him run in high school. _He's so much different than I ever thought he'd be. Even from what I thought he was this past year. When I was little I used to get expectations of something, and the real thing was never as good as I dreamed it would be. Ben… He's totally unlike what I expected... He's even better._ She smiled to herself and jogged down the bleachers after him. "Wait up!"

- - - - -

With St. Louis and its arch several hours behind them, Felicity felt her stomach growl, reminding her that their breakfast of fast food had also been quite a while ago. She glanced at Ben, fast asleep in the passenger seat leaning against the door. "Hey," she murmured, nudging him.

He stirred and opened his eyes. "Hmm? Where are we?"

"We're almost to Lincoln. Are you hungry? I'm starving."

He stretched, rubbing a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "Yeah. What do you want to eat?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. What's the travel book say about food around here?"

Ben yawned and picked it up, leafing through the pages she had marked as the next step of their journey. "A whole bunch of nothing," he determined finally. Flipping through a couple more pages, he asked, "Do you like baseball?"

"Baseball?"

"There's a baseball stadium in Lincoln, Haymarket Park. We could catch a game and have some bad hot dogs and stale popcorn." He flashed a grin at her.

"That sounds amazing," she beamed.

- - - - -

"You know," Felicity observed, munching on a bite of hot dog, "these aren't as bad as you made them sound."

"I'm still not sure I want to know what's in them," he parried. "At least the popcorn is stale."

She eyed him. "You're _happy_ about that?"

"It's a tradition. Sugary drinks, stale popcorn, and baseball. Pass me the candy."

Felicity handed over the packet of chocolate covered peanuts and Ben took a handful. The announcer's voice blared over the loudspeaker. The batter hit a pop fly and one of the outfielders caught it to the disappointed booing of the crowd. Over that, she heard the barking of a vendor selling beer. The salty scent of popcorn tickled her nose. She grinned at Ben, sitting beside her with his eyes intent on the field. "I love this."

He turned a smile on her, and she was reminded of when he'd melted the pizza waitress with that smile back in Washington. It was no less effective on her, here in Nebraska. She gulped the rest of her hot dog and washed it down with a swallow of too-sweet cola. When he didn't speak, she offered the cup to him.

Ben accepted it and took a drink himself. His expression grew thoughtful. "If somebody told me I was going to be on a road trip this summer with a girl I never talked to in high school, I would have told them they were crazy." He leaned toward her, and the smile resurfaced. "It's still crazy, but I'm glad you came with me." He kissed her. Around them, the crowd cheered as a batter hit a home run.

- - - - -

Felicity popped the finished roll of film out of her camera as they walked to the car. "That was a good game."

"Yeah, it was. I'll drive," declared Ben.

As they got back into the car, Felicity picked up the travel book and paged through it to see what else was in Lincoln. She gave him a smile. "You got to pick one, so now it's my turn."

He looked sidelong at her as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking space, following the line of cars exiting the stadium. "What did you have in mind?"

Felicity's smile expanded into a grin. "You'll see."


	12. Where There's Smoke

12 – Where There's Smoke

Ben passed her a tormented look. "You're kidding, right? Please say you're kidding."

Felicity smiled and shook her head. "Nope."

Standing before them, an unimposing brick building, was the National Museum of Roller Skating. Ben gave her the look again. "I didn't realize they needed a museum for roller skates."

"I used to love roller skating as a kid. Were you ever any good at it?"

He cringed away from the building in the classic male _this-is-too-uncool-for-me_ attitude. "_Roller skating?_ I don't roller skate. Maybe when I was ten, like _once_. Are you _sure_ you want to make me go in there?"

She stepped behind him and pushed him toward the doors. "It's only fair for me to pick the next stop."

He took a few drag-footed steps, sighed exaggeratedly, and reached for her hand. "All right, let's go see your roller skates."

She smiled again, walking beside him to the doors. "Good. I brought my camera to get some pictures."

"You're not taking any pictures of me in this place," he warned, opening the door for her.

"Spoilsport."

- - - - -

As she moved from exhibit to exhibit, Felicity felt his eyes on her. The weight of his gaze made her shiver. She tried to ignore it. Toward the end of their tour, she came to a stop before an oversized black-and-white photograph of a couple skating. An elderly woman finished looking around and left the room. Felicity looked back to the photo. The couple in it had been captured in a mid-skate embrace, much like the moves often used in figure skating on ice. The woman, skating in front, had stretched her arm up to curl around her partner's neck, and turned her head to look back at him. His hands rested on her tiny waist. The photo was flowing, graceful…and, Felicity thought with an unsettled shiver, sensual.

As if her notion had been a cue, Ben came up behind her, so close that she could almost feel his warmth. "This one's nice."

The low pitch of his voice sent chills down her spine. "Yeah," she said lightly, trying to shrug it off.

Ben's hands settled on her waist, imitating the man's pose in the photograph. "Okay, roller skating isn't totally stupid." A note of levity had entered his voice, totally at odds with the very serious way he drew closer to her until his chest brushed against her back. His arms snaked around her midsection and he bent to kiss her cheek.

Butterflies rioted in her belly. _It's just an innocent kiss. Quit overreacting!_ Her cheek prickled where his stubble had brushed it. She remembered he hadn't shaved that morning.

With one eye on the photograph, he murmured, "Looks like there's more going on there than just skating."

The levity was still there in his tone, but this time Felicity heard the hint of something more. The fact that he'd picked up on the undertones in the photo told her he was paying more attention than she'd thought. Her heartbeat thrummed with unspoken questions.

Before she could formulate her next words, Ben drew away and moved to the next part of the exhibit. She stole a glance at him, but he was studying a display of old skate patents.

Most of the time when she looked at Ben, she could see the veneer of guardedness, that aloof exterior he must have developed during childhood. He didn't have that right now. He didn't seem bored, or indifferent, or even annoyed that she'd dragged him in here to pore over silly roller skating memorabilia. He looked…

Happy.

- - - - -

They drove until late afternoon, had a picnic dinner at a state park, and continued on until sunset before finding a room for the night. Next door to the motel was a bar and grill. Since they weren't tired yet, they agreed to go. The place was jam-packed with people. Seeing a table, Ben challenged her to a game of air hockey. He lost the first game but trounced her on the second and third. "I demand a rematch. That last shot wasn't fair," she growled in amusement.

"It's fair in Covington rules," he shot back loftily. "Admit it, I won."

"You did _not_."

"I did too. I won. Are you going to be a sore loser?"

She flopped back against the table and crossed her arms. "I'm _never_ a sore loser."

Ben rounded the table. "Then admit I won."

She glared at him, managing to stifle a giggle. "I didn't realize we were playing for stakes. What's the big prize?"

He reached forward and pulled her closer, kissing her thoroughly. Dizzy and a little breathless, she looked up at him.

The same expression that had been in his eyes the previous night, that smoky look, flashed across his features. They stared at each other, and the rest of the room began fading out.

In the next moment, Felicity heard a shrieking, high-pitched siren. Sprinklers went off overhead. She yelped as cold water rained down onto her. "What the—?"

Ben grabbed her hand. "Fire alarm. Let's get out of here."

They dodged between the groups of people heading toward the exit. Felicity tripped on the leg of a chair, but Ben's grip on her hand kept her from falling. She stumbled but kept her feet.

He glanced back. "Okay?"

"Yeah. I wonder what's going on."

They wound their way out of the building. Out on the street, they heard fire truck sirens blaring.

Felicity came to a halt beside a young woman in a neat blouse and skirt. Her attire marked her as one of the waitresses. "What happened?"

"Grease fire in the kitchen. Stupid new kid didn't watch what he was doing," the waitress muttered.

The hostility in her tone made Felicity's eyebrows shoot up. She shrugged and exchanged a _man-is-she-pissy_ look with Ben. "Why don't we just go back to the motel?"

Ben took her hand again, threading his fingers through hers, tugging her away. "Already gone."__


	13. To Be Or Not To Be

13 – To Be Or Not To Be

Felicity pushed the motel room door shut and locked it. "Phew. What do you think that girl's problem was? She acted like the kid started the fire on purpose."

"I don't know," Ben answered with a genial shrug. He grinned. "I'm just sorry it ruined your chance at a rematch of air hockey."

"You are _not_ sorry," she scolded. "Look at you. You're gloating."

"Maybe I'm gloating a little bit."

With a rueful shake of her head, she went to her suitcase and opened it to gather supplies for her shower.

Ben caught her by the wrist, and she nearly sprang into the air. He pulled her close. "Where you going?"

"I was…just going to…"

"I'm not done gloating about my win," he teased, swooping in to kiss her.

_They have to make some kind of pill for Ben-Covington-induced vertigo,_ she thought with a smile. _This is becoming a common issue._

His hands slipped around her back, and he rested his forehead against hers. "Gloat, gloat, gloat."

She giggled. "Okay, I give up. You won. You are the master of all air hockey."

"All right, I'm done gloating." His amused expression changed in an instant, and he kissed her more softly, drawing her closer.

Felicity felt her knees dissolving and leaned forward against him. He took a few steps back, pulling her with him, and sat on the edge of the bed with her on his lap. She put her arms around him, sinking into a blissful oblivion of everything around them.

Ben broke the kiss to look at her. "We can stop, if you want."

His words slithered into her pleasant haze. "What?"

He looked a little embarrassed. "This. We can stop. You said you weren't ready."

With the haze still clouding her mind, she blinked. "To kiss you?"

He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze. "Not just that."

Her heartbeat started surging in her chest. "Oh. I—I don't think… I'm not sure…" She felt her cheeks burning, and couldn't meet his eyes. "Do you think I'm a prude?"

His gaze snapped back up. "No," he answered, sounding genuinely startled. "Felicity…if you're not ready, you're just not ready. That's totally fine." His eyes softened. "I would love to be with you, but I'm not going to push you into it."

The tiny, icy seed of anxiety in her stomach melted, only to be replaced by another. She hedged a bit before asking, "What are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and me. This. I love it," she hurried to say, "but I've been kind of wondering what you and I are now. What this is."

His brow furrowed in puzzlement. "Why do we have to call it something? Why can't it just be whatever it is?"

The blush crept from her cheeks up into the roots of her hair. "I don't know. I just…kind of want to know where this is going."

He smiled. "It left New York, went through Pennsylvania and some other stuff. Right now it's in Nebraska on its way to California."

"I'm serious."

He eased out from under her with a shrug and a sigh. "I don't know, it's just…us." He got to his feet. "I'm going to go out and get something from the soda machine. You want something?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm—I'm going to get in the shower." When he left the room, she blew a frustrated breath. "What did I do that time?"

* * *

By the time she emerged from the shower, their awkward conversation had been neatly swept under the rug. Felicity decided that for now, it was best left there. Anything was better than the way he pulled away from her.

They passed a more or less companionable evening watching old sitcom reruns. "Oh, my God, I love this episode," she said, sitting cross-legged on her side of the bed with her sketchbook in her lap. "This is the one where he gets the job at the ad agency and he thinks his boss is hitting on him."

Ben lay sprawled out on his side of the bed with his arms folded behind his head. Craning his head at her sketchbook, he asked, "What are you drawing?"

She held up the sketchbook to show him the half-done drawing of a pair of roller skaters. "Going to that museum today kind of inspired me."

He sat up. "That's really good. I was never any good at drawing."

"Well, you were too busy winning at track meets," she grinned.

He shrugged. "Yeah, that's me. Good at running."

She closed the sketchbook. Something in his tone told her he wasn't just talking about track. "What do you want to do for the rest of the summer?"

The change of subject caused him to raise his eyebrows at her. "I don't know. I haven't thought about it much yet. I'll probably have to get a job to pay for books and stuff in the fall."

"Yeah," she murmured, thinking privately that even though she planned to do the same thing, she was lucky to have two parents who were both willing and able to help her with college costs. She dropped the sketchbook and her pencils on the floor and laid down. "What do you say we go somewhere nice for breakfast tomorrow instead of doing fast food? My treat. I don't know about you, but I'm dying for pancakes and sausage."

"Sounds good to me." He reached over to the nightstand for the remote and clicked the television off. Propping his head up on his hand, he asked, "Where do you want to go next on our trip?"

She beamed. "I don't know. What's in Nebraska?"

He shrugged and returned her smile. "Corn. We could check out some corn."

Giggling, she rolled onto her back. "Corn?"

"Why not? I don't think you really appreciate corn. It's got to be more useful than roller skates."

She shot him a glare. "Hey."

A throaty laugh rumbled up from his chest.

* * *

She woke in the middle of the night out of a dream she couldn't remember to find that Ben had shifted over to her side of the bed and was now curled around her back with his arm over her. The air conditioner was on a little too high, and his warmth felt nice. She snuggled closer to him with a sigh of contentment. _Whatever we are is fine. We have the whole summer together, and that's enough._ She looked back over her shoulder at him and melted.

He was smiling in his sleep.


	14. That Is The Question

14 – That Is The Question

Ben was first up the next morning. Felicity woke to the shower running and the low noise of a radio in the bathroom. She hurried into a clean pair of jeans, realizing it was her last one. She dug into her suitcase for a shirt, and at the bottom she noticed a flashy red satin top with spaghetti straps. _I forgot I had that._ She had bought it at Elena's insistence that spring in a boutique in New York. Elena swore up and down that Felicity would look incredible in it, but Felicity had never had the nerve to wear it in spite of her friend's assurance. She sighed. It really was a shame for a top that expensive to go to waste. She had tried to give it to Elena, who wouldn't hear of it. _Girl, you do yourself a favor and wear that top, do you hear me?_ she heard her friend insist. Felicity worried her lower lip between her teeth. _Do I have the nerve to wear it now? In front of Ben? After what we talked about last night?_

Even after a year of college freedom, part of her still felt like that shy wallflower from Palo Alto High School, too awkward and too brainy to be noticed. She picked up the top and pursed her lips in determination. Making up her mind, she shrugged out of her nightshirt and put the top on.

By the time he came out, rubbing a towel in his dripping hair, she had packed her bags and was getting her shoes on. "Good mo—_Wow_."

Felicity blushed. "Good morning."

Lowering the towel, he came toward her. He couldn't seem to decide what to do after that, freezing where he stood. "You look great."

"Thanks." She beamed at him. Wearing jeans and a green button-down shirt, he didn't look so bad, himself, either, she thought.

Ben cleared his throat and dropped his towel on a chair. "What do you want to do to today?"

Standing up, she wrinkled her nose at her suitcase. "I think, at some point, we're going to have to do laundry."

"Laundry could be fun," he chuckled.

She slanted a sardonic look at him. "Laundry is never fun."

"You've never done laundry with me."

Laughing, she picked up her suitcases and started lugging them toward the door. Ben reached out and took one from her, shouldering his duffel bag with the other hand. "I was looking through some of those flyers on the dresser this morning. There was a coupon for this restaurant down the road. Sound okay with you?"

"It sounds amazing. You have no idea how hungry I am this morning. I never realized traveling made you so hungry."

The restaurant wasn't very busy that morning. While they waited for their breakfast, Ben unfolded the road map onto the table. "I figure we'll get through Nebraska and into Wyoming today, before we have to stop for the night. We'll have a couple of days at Yellowstone. He said he didn't want us to rush, but I think if we push it, we can spend more time at the park seeing bears and stuff," he grinned.

She mirrored the look. "I can't wait. My parents said they stayed there for a whole week, and they still didn't see everything they wanted to see. Can you imagine what it must be like to get _that_ close to a wild animal?"

"I just hope they don't get too interested in The Baby. How would we explain the claw marks?" Ben laughed.

Felicity gaped. "Oh, my God. Don't even say that. Are you sure we should drive through there?"

"I don't think _walking_ is a good idea," he said, raising an eyebrow at her. He angled his head. "Anyway, how many chances are we going to get to see this?"

They fell into silence, during which she felt his eyes on her so intensely that she ducked her head in embarrassment. The welcome distraction of their breakfast arrived, platters of food piled so high that even Felicity knew she had no hope of finishing it. Ben seemed to have no such predicament. She watched him eat with amusement. By the time she'd finished her pancakes, he was almost done with his entire portion.

He noticed her looking and paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. "What?"

"I thought _I_ was starving. Are you sure you don't want some of mine?" she chuckled, indicating the unfinished home fries on her plate.

"Can't I be hungry?" He started to smile, but it faded. Something caught his attention, and he gazed over her shoulder at the table beyond.

Puzzled, she checked over her shoulder just in time to catch a young man looking away. She turned back to Ben. "What? Do you know them?"

"No," he said, turning back to his plate. He started eating again.

Felicity peered back over her shoulder once more. This time, the young man was staring at her. So was his friend. Felicity spun back around in her chair, blushing. Guys _never_ stared at her. They stared at girls like Elena, who looked good in everything, including a burlap sack. Self-conscious, Felicity pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

Ben shoveled another forkful into his mouth, looking suddenly moody. "Want to go to a movie tonight? There's this new action movie playing."

She blinked. "Huh? Yeah, that sounds like fun."

He glanced over her shoulder once more, then back to her, looking at her so intently that she started to squirm in her seat. "What did I do?" she blurted.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything."

Felicity turned her attention to her plate and crammed a piece of toast in her mouth. Her ears burned, but she couldn't help feeling a little giddy. The wallflower from Palo Alto didn't feel like such a wallflower anymore.

After breakfast, she paid their bill and they went to the car. Ben drove the next leg of their trip while Felicity flipped through the radio stations. The two-lane highway sped past beneath them in the otherwise silent car. "Is there anything you want to listen to?"

"No, whatever you want is fine," he murmured.

She turned the radio down. "Ben, what's wrong? Ever since breakfast, you've been acting weird."

He didn't say anything for a moment. Then, so quickly that it made her head spin, he pulled over to the shoulder of the road beside a vast cornfield. The car skidded to a halt in the gravel and he put it in park, then turned and eyed her. "Felicity, will you go out with me?"

Her jaw dropped. "Wha…?"

"Go out with me. Officially. I'm asking you out."

She felt the subtle shift of the earth dropping out from under her. She forgot to speak.

He lowered his eyes to the seat between them. "I got to thinking about it last night, and you were right. We might as well, you know…make it official."

She tried to say something and couldn't. Seconds passed. She furrowed her brow.

Ben glanced sidelong at her and jerked a shoulder crossly. "I just don't like the way those guys were looking at you."

Her tongue finally fumbled into motion. "What?"

"Those guys at breakfast," he snapped. "They were staring at you the whole time."

The smile started somewhere in her toes and zoomed up through her body onto her face. She was helpless to avoid it, even if she wanted to, which she didn't. She noticed the _ting, ting_ of the car's turn signal and the dim crooning of some pop song on the radio. Outside the car, the wind shushed through the cornfield. Ben was still looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "Go out with you?"

He turned to face her. She saw him take a breath and hold it. "Go out with me."

_Is he nervous? Why is _he_ nervous?_ "Okay. Yes. I mean yes, I will."

Ben smiled at last. He leaned forward, caught her face in his hands, and gave her the most incredible kiss she'd ever gotten in her life.

When he pulled away, her head was spinning. The song on the radio had ended, and now it was a commercial. Felicity giggled, knowing she was beaming from the inside out. "Shouldn't we go?"

"Yeah, I guess," he grinned. He put the car into gear and took her hand in one of his, lacing his fingers through hers. They pulled onto the road and started away again.

Felicity stretched her other hand out the passenger window, letting the wind whip through her fingers. All of a sudden, she felt like she could fly.


	15. Spin Cycle

15 – Spin Cycle

For the entire day, neither of them could look at each other without smiling. Everything they did was funny. Everything they saw was amazing. The world had a whole new perspective.

It scared the hell out of Ben. He had no idea what to do with what he was feeling, which, in a bizarre way, made some kind of sense because he'd never felt like this before. Whenever he stole a look at her, smiling, with her hair breezing back in the wind and wearing that mind-blowing, stringy red top, his blood ran hot and cold all at once.

Hotter, when he thought about how those two guys had been glued to her the entire time they were at the restaurant that morning. When Ben first caught them looking, he'd been kind of glad in a smug sort of way, since he was the one sitting with her. After the second and third time, he started to get pissed off. Then it occurred to him to look at her, really _look_ at her, and see her how they were seeing her. And she wasn't just a girl he knew from high school anymore, who happened to follow him to college. He remembered thinking how good she looked today, and how her hair had gotten lighter in the sun this past week. _She's prettier than she thinks she is,_ he'd thought, and to avoid saying it out loud he'd jammed another forkful of eggs in his mouth. He stewed on that for a minute, then thought, _She's funny, too. I like her laugh. I like how she makes me laugh._ He stewed on that, too.

She's mine. I want her.

If he hadn't fallen out of his chair after that thought, it was only because he froze into an ice block where he sat. Under the table, he'd wrapped his sneakers around the legs of the chair to keep his feet from tapping. Lucky she was looking at her plate instead of him, because he swore that every drop of blood had drained out of his face and into the pit of his stomach.

Attraction, he could deal with. He'd been looking at pretty girls for most of his young adult life, and dating his fair share of them. There were tons of them at UNY, and he had no reservations about checking them out.

It was whatever _she_ did to him that he was having a hard time getting around. She looked at him and just…lit up. She smiled at him, and just for that second, he felt like there was nothing on this earth he couldn't handle. He didn't have the faintest idea what she was so happy about. He was just a screwup with an alcoholic dad and a flatline GPA. In spite of all that, in spite of himself, he wanted to _be_ whatever it was she saw when she smiled at him that way. She almost had him convinced he could do it.

He'd thought about what she said last night, how they hadn't really put a name to whatever they were. Ben would have said, _Sure, call us whatever you want and I'll go with it,_ if he could have figured out what the hell she was to him in the first place. She scrambled him up so much he couldn't think straight. The minute he had it figured out, it changed. She made him happy. She pissed him off. She freaked him out. She made him think. She pulled him in a million different directions, so fast that he didn't know which way was up anymore. She wasn't any one thing to him.

She was everything.

And that, simply put, was what had Ben Covington running scared. All these things he thought about her, he'd never felt for one person before. In four years of high school, he'd never passed her in the hall without glancing up when he knew she wasn't looking. In a year of college, he'd seen the crazy, frizzy-haired girl from his hometown turn into one of the best friends he ever had. In one week, she'd gotten under his skin and buried herself there with no hope of removal.

Breakfast today had hammered it home. He didn't know what this was, screaming down every nerve in his body, but he was damn sure he didn't want to lose the way she looked at him. He really didn't want her to look at anybody else like that. And he didn't just want to pound those jerks for staring at her the way they had. He wanted the _right_ to pound them.

Felicity, will you go out with me?

He knew she liked him. He _knew_ that. But saying those seven words, in that order, felt a whole lot like the time he took a header down a flight of stairs when he was a kid. He felt that same sudden lurch of his stomach as if he'd put his foot down, only to find out that the top step wasn't there underneath him, and then went hurtling off into space with his head spinning. Really, what did he have that she'd want?

He never expected her to say yes, anyway.

Dating was easy. This? This was…something different.

- - - - -

"Hey! There's a laundromat," she announced, pointing frantically toward a building on their left as they passed through a dusty little one-street town in Wyoming. "We might as well stop and do our laundry and get some dinner."

She hadn't said anything particularly funny, but he found himself grinning again. How did she do that? Take a stupid thing like laundry and make it look like fun? Ben turned the car into the parking lot. They parked and got out.

Ben brought their stuff into the laundromat while she went to the deli next door to get their dinner. When she got back, he had just put his clothes in to wash. Felicity came in and hopped up onto one of the washing machines beside him with the takeout bag. "We got lucky. They were just about to close for the night. I got us oatmeal cookies. They didn't have any chocolate chips left." She handed him his drink and opened the bag to get her sandwich, then handed the bag off to him.

Ben sat on the next washing machine in the row. "Thanks." He pulled out his sandwich and took a bite, sweeping the laundromat with a look. "So…welcome to Wyoming."

"Yeah, it's a real party spot," she laughed, sweeping a pointed look around the deserted interior. "Maybe we should book a trip in advance next year. Get in here early, beat the laundry crowd."

He grinned. "Hey, watch it, you're dripping mayonnaise."

Felicity looked just in time for a _splat_ of mayonnaise to fall on the leg of her pants. She grimaced and wiped at it with a napkin. "So much for my last clean pair. Good thing we're here!"

He liked that she wasn't so girly that she flipped out about getting a little dirty. She didn't mind playing basketball with him, either. He'd never had a girlfriend that liked playing basketball.

Girlfriend. He stared at her.

She looked up and brushed at her face with her fingertips. "What, have I got it all over my face, too?"

"No. No, you're fine." He fished in his pocket for a handful of quarters and set them down on the washer. "You better get your laundry in, though."

"Yeah," she agreed, setting her sandwich down and hopping off the washer. She opened her bags.

Ben counted every single crack in the linoleum floor while she sorted her laundry, imagining all kinds of unsettling things about the stuff she wore _under_ her jeans and shirts. When he was done counting, he started over again. Then he wondered what she had on under that slinky red top she was wearing right now. If anything. _Oh, God._

"Ben?"

He remembered he was supposed to be eating and jammed the last bite of sandwich in his mouth without looking up. "Hmm?"

"I said, did you want to get back on the road after this, or do you want to find a motel?"

Do not _ask me that right now._ "We should drive," he said automatically. _Preferably straight through to California, because I'm not sure if I can handle looking at that top much longer._ He looked up then, and was thankful to see that she'd finished sorting and her laundry was in the wash. "We still have some daylight left. We should get to the next decent-size town. I doubt this place has a movie theater, anyway."

While they waited, Felicity hopped back up on the washer beside him. She took a bite of her sandwich and rapped the heels of her tennis shoes on the washer's metal front. "Did you ever wonder who comes up with those state mottos? California's the Golden State, New York's the Empire State. What's Wyoming? Do they even _have_ a motto?"

Pulled out of his reverie by her offbeat question, Ben chuckled. "I don't know."

"Exactly. So who comes up with this stuff? I mean, how do they decide? Do they, like, have a committee and vote on it?"

"You're crazy," he said, laughing.

"How am I crazy? I don't make this stuff up." She looked at the rest of her sandwich, made a face like she didn't want any more, and stuffed it in the takeout bag. Shoving off the washer and onto her feet, she went to throw the bag away in the trashcan by the door.

"You are. You're totally crazy."

She raised her eyebrows at him across the laundromat. "You're the one who asked your stalker on a road trip this summer."

Ben opened his mouth, closed it, and shrugged. No argument there.

"I'm going to go get the travel book out of the car. I'll be right back," she said, ducking out the door.

Through the glass windows at the front of the laundromat, he couldn't help staring at her again. He felt the now-familiar heat and cold flash through his body. _What the hell am I doing?_ He hunched his shoulders, kicking his heel on the washer front. _I've got to be out of my mind._

Restless, he uncrumpled his sandwich wrapper and crumpled it up again, then tossed it aside. All sorts of reasons he shouldn't be with her reeled through his mind. She should be with a smart guy, somebody who knew stuff and could talk to her about it. She was smart like that. She deserved it.

Then he thought about her smile. Nobody had ever smiled at him and made him feel the way she did, every single time she did it. Just for a minute, just for a second, staring at her out the windows, he let go of everything and just let himself _feel_ what that smile did to him.

A slow smile spread across his own face. It felt like stepping out of shadow and into the sun.


	16. Wyoming

16 – Wyoming

Felicity drove until they reached a city that had several different motels. "Uh…which one looks good to you?"

"Let's not go for the ones that charge hourly rates," he grimaced, gesturing to one on the seedier end of the scale.

She curled her lip. "Definitely not. What about the movie? It's getting kind of late."

Ben glanced at his watch. "We could make a late showing, if you still want to go." Before she could answer, he pointed through the windshield at a motel as they approached. "There's one. What do you think, looks pretty safe?"

"It's worth a try. I'll check us in." She parked the car, and Ben got out to pull their bags from the trunk.

When she emerged from the hotel office, Ben was waiting with their bags. She pointed him toward the room on the end and came to get her own things from him. "I'm glad we did laundry today. And just for the record, you were right. Laundry is less of a nightmare with you than it is usually."

"Thanks, I think," he deadpanned. He took the keys from her and opened the door, revealing a room that was nicer than their usual accommodations thus far. It was decorated in tasteful neutral tones, and the furniture looked fairly new. Ben raised his eyebrows. "Wow. I bet it's even spiderless."

Felicity grinned as she entered the room behind them. She set her bags down and ran an appreciative hand over the table by the window. "What are we going to do? I got so used to the ugly color schemes."

He turned around with a shrug and made for the door, shaking his head ruefully. "Guess we're going to have to do one of the hourly ones."

She giggled.

He laughed with her, and then set his bags down with a questioning expression. "So, do you want to do it, or what?"

Her smile froze on her face. "Wh-What?"

He paced toward her with a knowing grin spreading across his face. "The movie? You remember the movie? You know, with popcorn and sodas and stuff?"

"Oh," she laughed, feeling ridiculous. She marshaled up her dignity. "Yeah. We could still do…the movie." He laughed that throaty laugh again, and Felicity felt her face grow warm. "I-I thought you meant—"

"I know what you were thinking," he broke in, still wearing that grin. It faded into a more serious look. "Felicity, we've been going out—what—like, a day? Come on. Besides, I thought we already talked about this."

She gave him an embarrassed smile and shoved an errant lock of hair behind her ear. "I know. I know, it's just… It's kind of…" _Kind of hard to remember why I said I wasn't ready,_ she added, looking up at him through her lashes.

He held out his hand. "Come on. Let me take you to a movie."

- - - - -

Because it was so late and it was the middle of the week, they were the only ones in the theater by the time the movie began. Ben looked around. "Hey. Private screening."

"They knew we were coming," Felicity joked. She reached for the popcorn bucket, and he handed it over. She took a handful and crunched on it. "This is loads better than the ballpark stuff."

"Oh, so now it's my stale popcorn. You had a problem with my Twinkies, and now you're insulting my popcorn. Is there anything I eat that you're not going to pick on?"

She lobbed a kernel into his lap with a grin. "Well, you hate anchovies, so you have _some_ taste."

Ben snatched a handful of popcorn and pelted her with a few pieces. "Live with Sean for a while. Compared to his inventions, stale popcorn is nothing."

"I think I'll pass on that." She pitched another handful of popcorn at him.

Ben caught most of it in the bucket. With a teasing glare, he seized the bag of licorice from her lap. "Gimme my Twizzlers, if you're going to be that way."

"Hey! I was eating those!"

He laughed and held the popcorn and candy out of her reach. Giggling, she lunged for the candy, only to have him elbow her hand away. "Nope. They're mine. You gave up your Twizzler rights by picking on my popcorn."

She huffed and took a sip of her lemonade. "I said _this_ popcorn was good."

Ben set the popcorn down in the next chair with a face of mock affront. "_Shhhhh_ The movie's starting."

Felicity gave an inarticulate growl. "_You_ are impossible."

Grinning, he held out the package of Twizzlers, only to yank it out of her reach when she went for it. He leaned across the arm of the chair and snatched a kiss before handing her the licorice.

She dissolved into laughter, shaking her head. Ben took her hand, and with the other, set the popcorn bucket back in his lap.

- - - - -

"That was a great movie. The special effects were _amazing_, weren't they?" Felicity enthused on their way across town.

"Yeah, that was cool. I hated the ending, though. It kind of left you hanging. Anything you want to see before we head back to the motel?"

"Nope. I think I'm just going to crawl in bed and sleep for a year," she yawned, watching him drowsily as he drove.

Ben started to smile, but it flashed into a look of shock. "Holy crap!" He slammed on the brakes. The car screeched on the road.

Felicity lurched forward with a yelp only to be jerked back by her seatbelt. Ben flung his arm out in a reflexive attempt to hold her back. She looked out the windshield to see another car careening across the intersection they had just entered by right-of-way. It missed them by less than three feet before bulleting onward. Her heart pounded in her ears. The Cadillac came to a pitching halt. "Oh, my God! Ben, are you okay?"

Catching his breath, Ben stared after the fast disappearing car and pulled at his seatbelt as if it were strangling him. He looked her up and down with worry on his face. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She gave a nervous laugh. "That could have been really bad."

"No kidding," he agreed. He scraped a hand through his hair and glared in the direction the other car had gone. "He didn't even slow down. I bet he was drunk. What a dick!"

Felicity saw anger blaze across Ben's features. She knew without asking that he was thinking about his father. "Why don't we just get back to the motel?"

A muscle worked in his jaw. She could almost feel him grinding his teeth. He dropped his gaze to the steering wheel, then out the windshield again. He took his foot off the brake with a sigh, and they continued on.

They hadn't gone far when Felicity noticed the car handling strangely.

At the same time, Ben frowned and pulled over. "Something's wrong. Wait just a minute. I'm going to get out and check the car." He cast a look about the car's interior. "Have you got a flashlight on you?"

"I think I have a pen light in my bag," she murmured, picking it up from the floor at her feet and rummaging through it. Finding the pen light, she handed it over.

Ben got out of the car and circled it, checking each side as carefully as possible in the darkness. They had parked in a poorly lit section of the city. Having lived in New York City for a year, Felicity recognized a bad part of town when she saw it. This rivaled anything the Big Apple had to offer. Normally, she would have avoided such a place or brought a large group of friends if she had to be there. _There's only me and Ben. I don't like the looks of this._

Growing apprehensive, she watched him circle the car again, and then duck below her line of sight to get underneath the car. She bit her lip and waited.

She only realized she'd been holding her breath when Ben got up again, brushing dirt off his jeans. He came around and opened the driver door. "We've got a flat. Picked up a huge bolt in the tire tread. I hope Mickey has a spare." He glanced around them and took the keys from the ignition. "Stay in the car, okay?"

She nodded wordlessly. Ben locked the driver door and closed it, then went around to the trunk to search for the spare tire. A few minutes later, he slammed the trunk lid down and came around to her door. Felicity opened it. "No spare," he reported. "What kind of guy drives a Cadillac and doesn't keep a spare tire in it? Can you check the glove box and see if he's got any kind of roadside assistance on this thing?"

She did so, but there was nothing in the glove compartment but the car manual and a few of their gas receipts. "He must have forgotten to leave them with us."

Ben threw his hands in the air. "Damn it, we don't even have a cell phone. We're going to have to walk to a pay phone. Staying around here's just going to be like a big 'Kick Me' sign."

"What if something happens to the car?" she asked nervously.

Ben pursed his lips. "What if something happens to _us_? I'm not leaving you here, and I'm not going to let you walk by yourself."

Felicity gathered up her backpack and grabbed Ben's wallet from the seat. She cast a quick look around the car to make sure that anything else they had was stowed out of sight in the trunk, and got out. She locked her door, cast a last, uncertain glance at the car, and took Ben's hand.


	17. Stranded

17 – Stranded

They'd been walking ten minutes, and Felicity was beginning to get the shivers. She shrugged deeper into her denim jacket against the twin chills of apprehension and the night air. _The faster we get this over with, the happier I'll be._ They had no idea where the closest pay phone would be, or whether someplace out here would even be able to give them a tow in the middle of the night.

They went three more blocks and turned a corner onto a sidewalk lit by a lone streetlight. A group of three men and one woman were coming down the street toward them. They bickered loudly amongst themselves with apparent disregard for the fact that it was just after two A.M. A couple of the men stumbled a little too clumsily to blame it solely on the pitted sidewalk.

She felt Ben's hand tense in hers as the group neared them. One of the men wolf-whistled at her as they went past. "Hey, girly-girl, want to hang with us?"

"Ignore them," Ben hissed, marching past beside her.

"Hey, you. With the hair. I'm talking to you!"

Felicity was glad the jacket covered most of her top. _If I don't answer, they're going to keep at it._ The memory of the fistfight in St. Louis was fresh in her mind. She had no desire to have it repeated. With a wary glance at Ben, she looked behind her. "Some other time, guys."

"Aw, don't be like that."

Felicity released Ben's hand to adjust her bag on her shoulder and risked a glance behind her. The group had slowed down, but they were still shuffling off in the opposite direction. "Sorry. Thanks anyway."

The speaker lagged behind a few steps, looking her over in a way that made her skin crawl. He made a dismissive noise and moseyed off with his fellows, muttering.

She faced forward again and let out a bone-deep sigh of relief. She glanced up at Ben, and his whole body vibrated with tension. He was stuffing something back into his inside coat pocket. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He gave her a crooked smile and relaxed. "Let's just get out of here."

They turned another corner and saw, three blocks away, a stretch of buildings with much better lighting. Ben took her hand again, and they walked faster.

Halfway there, they were accosted by a disheveled man emerging from a dim alleyway to their left. He smiled, holding out his hand. "Hey, can you spare some change?"

"No, man. Sorry," Ben started to say.

At that moment, the man pulled a knife on them. Felicity squeaked and froze where she stood. She gripped her backpack so hard her fingernails dug painfully into the leather strap. Ben jerked her forcibly behind him, blocking her with his body.

The man leered. "Your wallet. Now."

Felicity began shaking uncontrollably. She stared at the weapon in disbelief and horror._ What?!_

Ben raised his hands in a placating gesture. "All right. All right. Just hold on." Slowly, he reached into his coat and withdrew his wallet.

Felicity gaped as he handed it across. _I can't believe this is happening to us. All the rest of our trip money, Ben's credit cards, his driver's license… Is this real, or am I having a nightmare?_

The man snatched it from Ben's fingers and took off running down the street the way they had come.

The minute he was gone, Ben seized her hand once more and bolted in the other direction with her, toward the better-lit street a block and a half away.

"Ben! What's going on?" she begged. The way he held onto her hand, she had no choice but to run with him, stumbling over the potholed concrete of the sidewalk.

He didn't answer, and didn't stop running until they reached the first streetlight. Compared to the section of town they had just left, it felt like sanctuary. Ben skidded to a halt and took her by the shoulders. "Are you all right? Are you okay?"

Panting, she nodded. "What—What was that? Why did you…?"

"He didn't get anything. He—He got my wallet, but there was nothing in it," Ben gasped. "I took it out while we were walking. I didn't—I didn't want him to find out and turn back." He clutched at his ribs. "God, I've never been that scared in my life."

While it was happening, part of her had felt cocooned in shock. Now that it was over, she trembled even harder. Tears filled her eyes. She clutched her bag with both hands so hard it hurt. "Let's just… Let's find a phone and get out of here. I want to get out of here."

Ben put his arms around her. "It's all right. It's okay. We're okay now." He squeezed her close. "It's going to be okay."

Pressed against his solid warmth, Felicity felt her shivers subside. She sniffled and drew a long breath. "That was…really smart. What you did with the wallet."

He flashed a brief smile and brushed her hair back from her face. "After what happened in St. Louis, I figured better safe than sorry."

She barked a nervous laugh.

He smiled again, and kissed her. "Let's get the hell out of here, huh?"

- - - - -

"Mickey is not finding out about this," Ben said as he emerged from the motel office.

Waiting by their room door, Felicity raised her eyebrows. "What?"

Ben let them in and locked the door behind them, slumping back against it with a sigh. "Do you want to be the one to tell him that we had to leave The Baby in Crook Central for two hours?"

"Well, nothing happened to it, thank God," Felicity pointed out. She set her bags down on the floor and dropped onto the bed, boneless with relief to be in a locked, lighted room away from everything they had endured that evening.

"Yeah, well, our lucky streak had to kick in sometime tonight. As soon as they fix it in the morning, we're out of here and we're going to Yellowstone. After that, we're done with Wyoming. This place sucks."

Felicity flopped back onto the pillows. "Yeah. Remind me never, never to come here again. Not even if I beg to see Yellowstone one more time."

Ben came toward the bed, and she shifted over so he could lay down. He withdrew a handful of bills, papers, and credit cards from his pants pocket and piled them on the nightstand. "I told the manager we might have to sleep in. I explained what happened, and he said it was fine."

She let out a long sigh. "I am _so_ glad this day is over."

With a smile, Ben reached out and pulled her toward him for a kiss. "Parts of it were okay."

She settled against his chest and put her arms around him. "Parts of it were _very_ okay," she agreed.

He rubbed her back with one hand. Seconds later, both of them had fallen deep asleep with the light still on.


	18. Yellowstone

18 – Yellowstone

They arrived at Yellowstone by midday. As they passed through the east entrance, Felicity swore she felt the sheer _age_ of the land around them. It echoed in her very bones, whispering of thousands of years of history. She sat in humbled silence as they entered the park.

Apparently noticing the absence of chatter, Ben raised an eyebrow at her while he drove. "You, too, huh?"

"I can't even explain it. We haven't seen anything yet, and I'm overwhelmed," she admitted. "I don't think I'll ever forget this."

Ben smiled and took her hand. "We should get some gas."

"I need to buy more film, too. The first store we find, I'm getting a dozen rolls."

Their first stop was the Fishing Bridge General Store. Felicity browsed the available items while Ben gassed up the car, moving from rack to rack and trying to decide if she ought to buy one of those touristy Yellowstone T-shirts.

Ben entered the store just as she finished purchasing her items. He pulled a crumpled fistful of bills from his pocket and came to the register to pay for the gas. "Find anything you liked?" he asked as the cashier rang him out.

"Yeah. I got my film, and a T-shirt, and something for you."

He grinned at her, eyes lighting up. "Really? You didn't have to do that. What is it?"

"I wanted to," she responded as they left the store. They got back into the car, and she handed him a small bag. "Open it."

With a pleased smile, he overturned the bag and let its contents fall into his palm: a new, butter-soft leather wallet. The clerk had told Felicity the wallet was handmade by a local craftsman who'd been doing it for years, and who turned out the best leatherwork this side of the Mississippi. Ben's eyes came up to meet hers, looking doubtful. "Felicity, this had to be expensive."

"Don't you like it?"

Instantly, he looked apologetic. "Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. I like it, I really do." He looked down at the wallet, thumbing the smooth grain of the leather. "No one's ever just _given_ me something this nice."

"It's—It's just a wallet," she stammered, feeling self-conscious now. "And you needed one, anyway."

He looked up at her then, with his gaze unreadable. His expression relaxed gradually into a broad smile, and he leaned across the seat to give her a soft kiss. "It's the nicest wallet there is. Thank you."

She grinned. "You're welcome."

- - - - -

Their next stop was the Lake area, where Ben said he had a surprise waiting for her. The last few minutes of their drive, he made her keep her eyes closed. Growing impatient with excitement, she shifted in her seat. "Can I look yet?"

"Nope. Keep your eyes shut. No peeking, keep them shut."

"Come on, the suspense is killing me!"

Moments later, she felt the car draw to a stop. "Okay, you can look now."

Felicity opened her eyes. Through the windshield, Yellowstone Lake glittered in the sun, stretching away in a gorgeous vista. Looking behind her, she saw a scatter of tiny cabins, half-hidden in the pines. The one closest to them had a tidy little pot of blue flowers sitting on the stoop and a rustic sign that read "Maples" on the door. "What's this?"

"This is where we're staying through Sunday night," Ben told her, looking triumphant. "I booked it while we were still in Washington."

"What? You're kidding! Ben, there's no way we have the money for a place like this! How did you get it?"

"Don't worry about it. I saved enough. We're probably going to be eating peanut butter and jelly, but at least we have a nice place to stay," he grinned.

Her mouth dropped open. "It's amazing! It's—It's just so beautiful!" She launched herself across the seat and hugged him hard. "Thank you!"

Laughing, he hugged her back. "You're welcome. Let's get out of this car now. I don't know about you, but it's going to be nice to stay put for a few days."

"And in a place like this!" she enthused, grabbing her backpack and getting out. The smell of pines soaked into her soul as soon as she opened the door. Felicity took a deep breath of the crisp breeze. "Oh, I could just _live_ here. Do we really have to leave?"

"Not until Monday morning." He smiled again and opened the trunk to get their bags. "I thought after we unpacked, maybe we could go for a hike around the lake and bring a late lunch or an early dinner with us."

"That sounds _perfect_."

Ben unlocked the cabin. "Each one of the cabins is named after a kind of trees. The ones around the bend there, right on the water, are a lot pricier. They're the popular ones too. I was going to try and get one, but they were booked full weeks ago." He swung the door open.

The spicy tang of cedar greeted them as they entered the main room of the cabin. Felicity looked around the interior, beaming. A hand-hewn cedar dining set held sway over a tiny kitchen furnished with 50's-era appliances. In the adjacent living room, a comfortable-looking couch draped with plaid blankets invited her to sit and read a book before the cast-iron wood stove. The walls of the cabin were exposed hewn log. Here and there, an outdoorsy painting hung upon the otherwise sparsely decorated walls. "Wow," she breathed, setting her bags down and crossing into the living room with an awestruck sigh of wonder. "Ben… This is… Wow." When he didn't answer, she turned back around.

Grinning broadly, Ben kicked the door shut behind him and set his bags down. "You, speechless? I guess you must like it."

She ran toward him, giggling with sheer exuberance, and threw her arms around his neck. "I absolutely love it!"

Ben laughed at her enthusiasm, sliding his arms around her waist. He gave her a soft kiss and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm glad."

"I'm never going to go on a vacation again—_anywhere, ever_—without remembering this minute," she grinned.

Ben gave her another peck on the lips and stepped away to pick up his bags, hefting them onto his shoulder. "That's good, because I have this whole thing planned out for this afternoon. I think you're going to like it. Hiking, boating. The guy who I booked with said we could check out guided tours at the visitor's centers. Supposedly the lake tour takes an hour, but it's amazing."

"You really put a lot of effort into this."

He flashed a smile at her and shrugged his free shoulder. "I just thought it would be fun, is all."

"Ben, you really did. I'm… I guess I'm trying to say how much that means to me." She gave him an earnest smile.

He met her eyes for a brief moment before looking away, rubbing a hand through his short hair in a familiar gesture of awkwardness. Felicity warmed to the sight. _He's embarrassed that I think he's so sweet!_ Giddy, she followed him toward the bedroom.

The large, cedar-log bed looked so comfortable, she wanted to sink into it even though she wasn't even close to tired. It was covered in a beautiful rustic quilt in barn red, ticking stripe, and denim blue, and piled high with cushy pillows. Felicity dropped her bags by the tall oak chest of drawers and lay down, sinking into the soft featherbed with a long, heartfelt sigh. "Okay, this is it. I've officially died and gone to heaven."

Ben looked around the room. "Wow, check it out. The bedroom even has a wood stove."

Felicity looked. Sure enough, the corner of the room had its own tiny glass-fronted potbelly stove. A large copper bucket filled with logs and kindling waited beside it. "_Pinch_ me," she moaned. "This is way too good to be true."

Ben sat down beside her and immediately flopped onto his back with a weary groan of appreciation. "This, now, _this_ is a bed. Not like those cement slabs we've been sleeping on. Come here." He stretched an arm around her and tugged her toward him with an inviting smile.

Laughing, Felicity rolled onto her belly and propped herself on his chest.

Ben curled his arms around her. "That's better, don't you think?"

"It doesn't _get_ any better than this," she agreed, kissing him.

Ben flashed another of those grins that she loved. "What do you say we take a quick trip to the store, pick up some food for the weekend, then come back and have a nice long walk around that lake?"

She kissed him again and sat up. "I say, sign me up."


	19. Give and Take

19 – Give and Take

Ben cocked an eyebrow, glancing aside at Felicity as he paid for part of their grocery bill. "I am taking a twenty out of my brand-new, really nice wallet. See?" He waved the wallet at the cashier. "Isn't this the nicest wallet you ever saw? Isn't it cool?"

The girl at the register smiled, obviously puzzled by his announcement and blushed under his playful grin. "It's—It's really nice," she nodded.

Ben gave a matter-of-fact nod. "Yes, it is." He tilted his head at Felicity. "She bought it for me. Wouldn't you say she has very good taste?"

Giggling now, Felicity ducked behind him. "Ben, you're embarrassing me!" she hissed.

He raised his eyebrows and moved out from in front of her. "I'm just showing off my new wallet, here. I want this girl's opinion on my very nice wallet."

"She has excellent taste," the girl laughed, playing along. She took Ben's twenty and finished ringing up the groceries. "I think she made a great choice."

"She did," Ben agreed, taking Felicity's hand to prevent her from escaping. He picked up the grocery bags in his other hand and gave the cashier a solemn nod. "Well, thank you. Thank you very much for your input. Have a great afternoon."

As they walked to the car, Felicity burst into another fit of giggles. "You are… You're just impossible!"

Ben laughed in response. "I'm proud of my wallet. This is some wallet." He brandished it at her and put it in his back pocket. "I'll drive."

"Oh, no, you don't. I think you purposely hit every rock and pothole on every unpaved road we had to take to get here. Mickey's going to murder us when this trip is over." Fizzing with humor, Felicity snatched the keys from him and unlocked his door, then went around to the driver's side to open her own door.

"Oh, so we're back on my bad driving, are we? I make a point of showing that girl how nice my wallet is, and what good taste my girlfriend has, and I'm getting crap for it?"

Felicity froze, standing outside the open driver's side door. "Say that again."

"Which part?" When she didn't answer, his smile broadened. "Oh, the 'girlfriend' part?" He rubbed the back of his neck and gave her a helpless grin. "It is kind of weird to say it…but it's nice."

_There is no way I'm ever coming down from this cloud,_ she thought, glowing, as they got into the car.

The trip back to the cabin was long but pleasant. They'd had to leave the park to find a grocery store that was relatively inexpensive, but considering the scenery—and the company—Felicity didn't mind in the least. They were silent for most of the trip, but she didn't mind that, either.

- - - - -

Ben tapped his fingers against his leg in half-hearted tempo with the song on the radio. He smiled at the dreamy look on her face, then looked away out the passenger window and dissolved into a private frown. _I can't tell her. If she finds out how much I spent on this cabin, she's going to want us to stay in some cheap hole in the earth. _He could hear the whole scenario in his head. First she'd get that stunned look on her face. Then she'd get all stubborn and start insisting that they find another place to stay because he needed the money for college next fall. If she found out he'd charged it on one of those stupid credit cards from the mail, she'd really blow her stack about it. _Whatever.__ I'll get a good job this summer and make up the money. After paying for that new tire, I'd better._ He glanced back at Felicity. She was singing along with the radio. He smiled again. _If I've got to work a few extra hours or pick up a second job, so what?_

He remembered their conversation back in Washington when she'd said that her father stayed at the Ritz Carlton. Being a doctor must have a lot of perks if the hospital was willing to pay for him to stay at a place like the Ritz. He wondered if Felicity were used to the nice things money could buy. Her father was putting her through college, even though she'd decided to come to New York instead of go to Stanford. _His_ father wouldn't do that. Ben was expected to pay back his loans when he graduated. _That's if I graduate. If I even figure out what I'm going to be._

He'd been teasing her about the wallet back there in the grocery store, but he meant what he said about it being the nicest thing anyone had ever given him. Especially since it came with no strings attached. He'd never gotten _that_ kind of present before. He felt compelled to give her something in return, even though she hadn't asked, so he resolved to keep his mouth shut about where the cabin money had come from. He gave an inward sigh, watching her sing. _I'm not going to cheap out on this with her. I'm just going to enjoy this and let her enjoy it, and deal with the money later. She should have nice stuff._

Felicity looked over at him. "You're kind of quiet. What's wrong?"

He fidgeted for something to say and came up with, "I was just thinking we could grab my blankets out of the trunk and have that picnic before we start the lake tour."

She flashed him a dazzling smile, which made him feel a little better about avoiding the truth. "I got us a bottle of wine. Well, not wine, exactly. Sparkling grape juice, but it'll go really well with our sandwiches," she giggled.

Ben smiled back at her and took her hand. She looked so happy right now. Charging the cabin on his credit card was totally worth it.

- - - - -

"Ever had fresh lake trout?" he asked in between bites of ham and cheese. He gestured to the shining expanse of Yellowstone Lake with his sandwich.

Felicity shook her head. "Do you like to fish?"

He shrugged and stretched his legs out on the blanket. "I'm okay at it, I guess. My dad used to be better than me."

He seemed to realize then that he'd brought up the subject of his father. Felicity saw him shy away from the topic as though he'd physically cringed. "My dad doesn't like fishing. He's into golf," she said, picking at the bunch of grapes sitting on the blanket. "I _hate_ golf. It's got to be the most sadistic sport ever."

Ben laughed at that. "Yeah. It's kind of sick. Here's a little ball and a metal stick. Let's see if you can whack the ball into that tiny hole half a mile away. And while we're at it, let's throw some sand and water and high grass in the way just to make things more fun. Who thinks up these things and decides to call them _games_? Running is a lot simpler. You just run."

Felicity pursed her lips and dropped her gaze to the blanket. "I never told you, but I watched you try out for the track team at UNY that day."

He lowered his sandwich and looked over at her. "You did?"

"Yeah. I was so sure you were going to come in first, the way you did in high school."

He shrugged a little too easily. "I had some stuff on my mind."

She drew her knees up and rested her arms on them, chewing silently on a few grapes. A bird flew across the lake, and she followed it with her eyes.

"Were you in any activities in high school?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was sort of in this art club for a couple of years. We had some local shows, but it was never anything big."

He watched the bird circle down into a stand of trees. "Did your parents ever go to that stuff?"

Felicity eyed him. "Sometimes." She picked more grapes and asked her next question with caution. "Did yours?"

"Mom did, when she could."

She watched him from the corner of her eye. How many times had his father disappointed him by not coming to witness one of his achievements? Even one of his losses?

"You've seen me run, what? Two or three times, then?" he asked finally.

"Most of them. Shelly and I would stay after school sometimes to watch the meets, or we'd catch a bus on Saturday."

He flashed his teeth in a bitter grin. "You've seen me run a lot more than my dad has, then."

"I'm sorry you didn't make the team."

He shrugged again. "Some of those guys just wanted it more, I guess." A few seconds passed. "Anyway, what about you? Why haven't you gotten into any of the extracurricular stuff?"

"I don't think I could handle it on top of my course load," she laughed. "I'm starting to think I should have taken some summer classes. That Inorganic Chem class earlier this year was a nightmare."

"Well, this," he said, holding up the rest his sandwich, "is the best ham and cheese sandwich in history." He took a substantial bite, polishing it off.

She washed down the rest of her grapes with a swallow of their sparkling grape juice. "I think the next lake tour starts in twenty minutes. Why don't we pack up and head over to the visitors' center?"

"Yeah," he said, getting up and picking up the empty containers while she folded the blanket.

She was about to head toward the car with an armload of picnic supplies when Ben stopped her by taking her elbow. She turned back with a questioning look.

He bent and kissed her, very softly. "Thanks for being there when I didn't make the team."

She looked up into his eyes. For a brief moment, she saw a flash of old hurts, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. "You're welcome."


	20. Layers

20 – Layers

"Welcome to Yellowstone National Park. Behind us is Yellowstone Lake, North America's largest high-altitude lake," the guide announced to the gathered group. "It is home to a wide variety of wildlife species, including bear, moose, elk, and eagles. We're required to keep at least a hundred yards away from bears, and at least twenty-five yards from all other wildlife throughout the park. If we see any wildlife, please don't call to attract their attention as it is prohibited by law. Any collection of plant, animal, or mineral features is also prohibited. We will be stopping halfway through the tour for a rest break. If you have questions, please don't hesitate to ask myself or Anne."

"This is amazing," Felicity whispered. "I feel like—I don't know, a pioneer or something."

Ben smiled at her exuberance and took her hand as they started off down the trail.

- - - - -

_I don't think I've ever been so tired and happy all at once!_ The lake tour had been well worth the anticipation. Their guide had explained the history of the lake and the plants and wildlife surrounding it, as well as told them stories of the people who had passed through this area throughout the years. _And now we're part of those stories,_ she thought with a smile.

They'd seen a small herd of elk, far off in a meadow near the lakeside. She'd been so excited she almost forgot to take a picture until Ben, just as enthusiastic as she, told her to catch them on film before they trotted away. Felicity hoped the pictures came out all right without a long lens. She made a mental note to pick up one of those coffee table books on Yellowstone before they left the park, just in case, so she could remember everything about this place and how gorgeous it was.

She emerged from the shower, freshly scrubbed and clad in flannel pajamas against the night chill, to see Ben reading on the couch before a snapping fire in the wood stove. He'd changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants, and his long legs were propped on the coffee table. He looked thoroughly at home in the setting. _He took my idea!_ "What are you reading?"

He looked up. "Whitman. I picked it up at the store earlier today."

"_You_ read Walt Whitman?"

He smirked. "You don't have to look so shocked. He was, like, the only poet I actually liked in the class this year. Seemed like the kind of place to read some more of his stuff." When she didn't move, he gave a good-natured scowl. "What? Can't I have some culture?"

She laughed and came to sit beside him. "I just didn't realize you liked poetry."

"I don't. I like _him_. Check this out, there's one about us. _Song of the __Open Road._"

She beamed. "Really?"

"Yeah." He flipped through the book, found the right page, and quoted:

_Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road,  
__Healthy, free, the world before me,  
__The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose._

_Henceforth I ask not good-fortune—I myself am good-fortune;  
__Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,  
__Strong and content, I travel the open road._

"Sounds kind of like us, doesn't it? Just taking off and going wherever we want?"

Felicity stared at him with her mouth hanging open and her heart pounding.

Ben broke out laughing. "What?" He snapped the book shut. "You think this is stupid."

"No! No, I just…" She melted under his discomfited grin. "I really like hearing you read poetry. It's so… It's really nice." _Romantic,_ she wanted to say. _Incredibly, amazingly romantic.__ I can't even breathe, it's so romantic. A cabin, a roaring fire, and Ben Covington reading poetry to me. I'm afraid to pinch myself._

With a sidelong look, Ben opened the book again. "Want to hear more of it?"

"Yeah," she said at once, in case he changed his mind. "I'd love that."

With another smile, Ben reached his arm around her and she settled against him. He propped the book on his lap, flipped to the correct page again, and continued reading the poem. Felicity listened closely at first. The poem was about life as much as travel, and how everyone was equal in the face of either voyage. She liked it immediately.

As Ben read on, she caught less of the poem and more of the soft rise and fall of his voice as he spoke. She drifted on his words.

_From this hour, freedom!  
__From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,  
__Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute,  
__Listening to others, and considering well what they say,  
__Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,  
__Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me._

She sighed and smiled wistfully. At that moment, she felt dead sure she'd never have another night this romantic in her entire life. Everything about it was perfect. She snuggled deeper into the hollow of his arm and let the words wash over her against the background of the popping fire. He might never have liked his drama class, but she wondered if the other students had been as captivated as she was now, when they heard him deliver a speech. He had a gift for it. The words flowed on as he continued, verse after verse, through the poem.

_Mon enfant! I give you my hand!  
__I give you my love, more precious than money,  
__I give you myself, before preaching or law;  
__Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?  
__Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?_

He stopped then, clearing his throat with a sudden, jarring awkwardness, and shut the book. "That's it. That's the end of the poem."

She'd settled down onto the couch with her head on his leg by that point. Felicity blinked as the words of the last stanza sank in. A vivid flash of him standing before her in a tuxedo entered her head. She heard the soft murmur of a man's voice beside them, and felt Ben's hand warm in hers, shaking just a little. And then, clear as a bell, she heard herself say the words _I do_. She sat bolt upright with a squeak of surprise.

The book fell off his lap and onto the floor. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing," she said, leaning over the edge of the couch to grapple for the fallen book. She hugged it close to her body, trying not to tremble. Her heart pounded so fast she couldn't catch her breath. She wondered if he could tell she was blushing. Her ears felt like they were on fire. "Ben…that was beautiful."

He gave her that self-conscious smile again. "Well, I didn't write it."

"No, but you read it so…so…" She trailed off, staring at him.

He stared back. The fire crackled in the wood stove across the room, punctuating the silence.


	21. Tempest

21 – Tempest

Ben didn't move an inch. He had a strange look in his eyes, one she couldn't begin to interpret. Felicity's blood surged in her ears. Every nerve jangled. _Now. Now, before he gets up! Do something!_ She let go of the book and it tumbled to the floor again. She jumped across the space between them into his arms.

He hauled her against him and kissed her recklessly. He held her so hard she couldn't catch her breath, or maybe it was the way he kissed her, she didn't care. His stubble rasped against her face. Felicity kissed him back with equal abandon. Her head spun. She forgot where she was. She almost forgot _who_ she was. She reached a shaking hand around him and slipped it hesitantly under the back of his T-shirt.

When her fingertips touched his spine, he hissed inward and jerked back, breaking the kiss.

She paled at the blazing look in his eyes, afraid she'd done something wrong. "What? What did I do?"

His gaze roved across her face. He swallowed once and took a panting breath. "Are you—Are you sure about this?"

_Am I?_ A few agonizing moments passed, and then she couldn't bear the thought of him not holding her another minute. Gulping down the knot in her throat, she nodded and leaned toward him once more.

He kissed her again, gentler this time, more patiently. She wrapped her arms around him and slid trembling hands under his T-shirt again. He arched away, pulled off the T-shirt, and dropped it on the floor.

Felicity got her first good look at his bare torso. She'd seen it at high school swim meets…but never this close. Never like this. She couldn't help staring at him. _He's… He's beautiful._ Tense, awestruck, she sat completely still. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered the low rumble of thunder outside, but she could hardly make it out over the frantic beating of her own heart.

He smiled a little, took her hand, and put it to his chest with his eyes searching hers.

Felicity laid her palm flat against his heated skin, spreading her fingers into the fine hairs. His heartbeat raced under her fingertips. _Is he nervous like me?_

A chill traveled up her spine as she realized they had just passed a point in their relationship from which nothing would ever be the same. Every time she looked at him, she'd remember this. The way he felt under her fingers. The way he was looking at her right now.

Ben raised a hand, cupped her face, and pressed his lips against hers. She sank back into his embrace, trailing her fingers across his broad back, exploring him. His arms came up around her and every fiber of her being dissolved into his kisses. Everything she'd ever wanted was right here in this place. Weightless, floating, she let the moment sweep her where it would.

She felt him clutch at the back of her flannel top, crushing folds of it in his hands. He let go of her at once and sat back, looking guilty and…something else. That look again. Deprived of the warmth of his arms, Felicity felt like she'd been hit with a blast of icy air. "Felicity…I don't think… I just don't think I can do this." He dropped his gaze.

Just like that, everything came crashing down on top of her. Bewildered, she felt tears rush forth, welling in her eyes. She blinked them away. Rain began hissing on the roof of the cabin. "Wh-What?"

He exhaled sharply and scraped a hand through his hair. "You—You're right. You were right when you said it's different with us. Or that it would be. Whatever."

"Y-You don't want…?" She couldn't say _me_. Saying it would make it true.

His eyes flashed up to meet hers, wide and startled. "You think…? Felicity, no. That has nothing—_nothing_ to do with it." He shook his head vehemently and took her hands.

Her heart hammered in her throat. Another question, also one she didn't want to ask. "Is it… Is it Julie?"

"No. No, it's nothing like that." He pulled one of his hands from hers to rub at the back of his neck and looked away. "I don't think it's you who's not ready for this."

He must have anticipated her surprise and hurt, because he grabbed her hands in both of his again. "Believe me when I say I really…_really_ want to. You have no idea how much I want to. I just…" He trailed off, lowering his gaze again. Felicity saw him fumble for words. "We're different now, you know? This isn't just…" He sighed with frustration and a touch of reluctant surrender. "I need to get used to this…okay?" His eyes came up again to meet hers.

The unguarded look on his face hit her blindsided and broke her heart. He'd never looked at her like that before. _He's scared. He's scared to get close to me._ She bit her lip, sucked in a quivering breath, and nodded. "O-Okay. We don't have to—to do anything."

The corner of his mouth twitched in the briefest shadow of a smile. He sighed again and looked away at the floor. "I'm sorry."

She pursed her lips. "Don't be. It's fine, honestly. I'm okay with that." She ventured a little smile. "You just… You might want to lay off the poetry, okay?"

He laughed at last, a soft exhalation, and stroked the backs of her hands with his thumbs. "Okay."

She bent over the edge of the couch to scoop up the book and his T-shirt, offering them back to him. "I think maybe… Maybe we both need to get used to this."

He took the book and tossed it on the coffee table. The shirt remained in his lap.

A sudden, violent crash of thunder made them both jump, and then the lamp on the end table winked out.

- - - - -

"I guess it's a good thing we've got the fire going, since the power's out. I hope they'll get it back on by morning or we're going to have trouble with the fridge," Ben observed, sitting, still shirtless, on the braided hearth rug before the wood stove.

Felicity came back to the living room with an armful of chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows. Ben sat cross-legged before the open grate with a pair of sticks and the fire poker, rearranging the dying fire and adding more kindling. She sat down beside him on the rug. "Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer it."

He glanced warily at her and prodded at the logs a few more times until the fire began burning more steadily again. "Yeah."

"You're not really looking forward to going home…are you?" She opened the package of marshmallows, keeping her eyes on it rather than him.

Ben put the fire poker back in its stand and picked up one of the sticks. He took a marshmallow from her, jabbed it on the end of the stick, and poked it into the fire. "Not really. It'll be nice to see my friends from high school, find out what they've been up to…and to see Mom. My dad is a whole other story."

She didn't look at him, turning her attention instead to opening the graham crackers and chocolate, and assembling her own marshmallow toaster. "I think it might be a little different…going home this summer. I mean, I've been away for a whole year, now. It's not… It won't feel like home, anymore. Just this—place—I grew up in, you know? Everything's going to feel so strange. Like I don't…_live_ there, anymore…somehow."

He nodded, the contours of his face limned in firelight. "Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right." He turned his stick a few more times and removed it from the fire. "S'more me."

Felicity took out a graham cracker and a piece of chocolate for him. Ben sandwiched them together with the toasted marshmallow and took a bite. "You know, I haven't made one of these things since I was about seven years old?"

"Really?"

"_The_ first and last official Covington family camping trip. _Not_ fun." He took another bite. "These are better than I remember."

"Well, the Porter household secret was to sprinkle a little cinnamon on them," she told him with a chuckle. "I could never quite get the hang of keeping the marshmallow from sliding off the cracker when I squished it all together." She finished toasting her marshmallow. "My turn."

He put another S'more together for her. They ate in a cozy hush interspersed with rain pattering on the windows and thunder booming outside. A bright flash of lightning illuminated the cabin interior and was gone. "Were you nervous about coming to New York?" he asked at last.

"I was…holding my breath, kind of," she said thoughtfully. "I was scared, and excited…and the whole week before, I kept packing and unpacking these stupid little things, like I thought I'd need them. My first teddy bear, a book I haven't read since grade school, this really _bad_ picture I drew once of my parents… It all seems kind of weird now, when I think about it. New York seemed so big, and I was so freaked out about how far it was from anything I knew. But then I thought…"

"What?"

"Well, I thought…_you_ went there. You were brave enough to go. And if you could do it, I could, too." She flushed and glanced up at him through her lashes. "I know. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid. What you did…it took guts."

She smiled at that. "I guess so."

They talked into the night, about anything and everything, stretching out on blankets spread on the floor before the wood stove, their heads propped close together on their arms. The storm rumbled on outside. Rain beat steadily against the windows. The dimming firelight flickered across the floor, across them, across the remains of their campfire snacks.

"…At graduation, before you came over, I was in the middle of an argument with Mom about Dad," Ben told her. "He'd gotten drunk again, forgot to make the ceremony. Mom was making excuses for him like she always did. I just couldn't stand to hear it anymore. I just got _so_ sick of hearing it, ever since I could remember. I think… I think that was the day I actually, finally gave up on him."

He felt Felicity reach across the floor and put her hand on top of his. She didn't speak.

Ben didn't, either. He wasn't sure what else to say. He rolled onto his back and folded an arm under his head. The ceiling beams of the cabin threw dancing shadows in the glow of the wood stove. He let the storm fill the silence for a bit, just because it seemed to speak more eloquently than he did. "I still don't know what I said or did that made you follow me," he murmured finally, "but I'm glad for whatever it was. It means a lot to me that you did something like that for me."

She didn't reply.

He turned his head to look, whispering, "Felicity?"

Her eyes were closed. She lay with her cheek pillowed on one arm. Her other hand still rested on top of his, and her hair spread around her across the blanket.

Ben just looked at her for a little while. At last, he got up and gathered her limber, slumbering form into his arms. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed, pulling the covers over her. He started a fire in the bedroom's wood stove to ward off the damp chill and went back out to the living room.

For a long time, he stood at the front window and watched the storm cross the lake and move eastward.


	22. Flip Side

22 – Flip Side

Felicity opened her eyes to the rhythmic _rat-tat-tat_ of a woodpecker drilling at the wall outside the cabin. _That's a new way to wake up,_ she thought with a smile.

Daybreak peered around the edges of the red checkered curtains into the room. She turned on her side and noticed that Ben's side of the bed had not been slept in. She hoisted herself onto an elbow and saw that he'd built a fire in the bedroom wood stove during the night. With a yawn, she pushed the covers aside and got out of bed.

She found him in the kitchen, messy-haired and wearing his shirt and sweatpants from the night before. "Hey. Crunch Berries?"

"Good morning. Crunch Berries sound great." She glanced into the living room. The floor had been picked up. The blankets lay rumpled across the arm of the couch. Ben's book lay open on its pages on the coffee table. "Didn't you sleep?"

He grabbed another spoon from the drawer and a bowl from the cupboard, setting them on the table for her. "Some. The storm kept me up. The power went back on around three."

Felicity sat down and poured herself some cereal. "Thanks for breakfast."

"Yeah, getting you that bowl and spoon was hard work." He smiled and handed her the milk. "I was going to get you up in a few minutes. There's a charter boat that takes people out on the lake, or we could go see some of the geysers this morning, if you want."

"Let's go see the geysers."

Ben sat down at the table and dug into his own cereal. "Geysers it is."

- - - - -

Ben snapped a photo just as the plume of steam billowed into the air. "This is amazing," he grinned, handing Felicity her camera.

They stood on the boardwalk in the Upper Geyser Basin, staring out across the park at the 100-plus feet of steam. Some of the geysers were between their predicted eruptions, but they'd managed to catch two so far, just walking past. Felicity couldn't wait to see if Old Faithful would be one of them. At the beginning of their tour, they'd missed it. She adjusted the portable picnic cooler on her shoulder.

Ben held out his hand. "Do you want me to take that?"

"Sure," she said, relinquishing it.

They walked hand-in-hand along the walkway with a large group trailing behind one of the park's guides. The sky was overcast with cloudy remnants of last night's storm.

The group paused at the next stopping point while their guide explained the next featured geyser. Another group was coming from the opposite direction down the boardwalk, chattering about the geysers ahead.

As the second group passed them, Felicity heard a woman shout, "Ben? Benjamin Covington!"

Beside her, Ben dropped Felicity's hand as if someone had skewered him and turned around.

A woman with a gorgeous mane of strawberry blond hair had stopped walking with the second group. The rest of the tourists shuffled away on either side of her. Felicity's mouth dropped open. For a second, she thought she was looking at a young Nicole Kidman.

"It is you!" the woman exclaimed in a lilting Irish accent. She giggled and raced toward Ben, flinging her arms around his neck. "My God, it feels like it's been ages!"

Ben looked stunned. "Caitlin," he managed. His mouth twisted into an awkward smile. "How are you?"

The woman stepped back from him. "What are you doing here? God, you look incredible."

"Thanks. You, too," Ben responded. Felicity thought he sounded a little strangled. His eyes slid toward hers, their expression unfathomable.

Seeming to notice her for the first time, Caitlin beamed and held out her hand. "Caitlin Rourke. Sorry about that. Ben and I are high school chums, after a fashion."

Felicity felt her eyebrows shoot up. Granted, she hadn't been friends with Ben at the time, but she thought she'd have remembered the redheaded walking Maybelline commercial. She remembered her manners and shook the woman's hand. "Felicity. Felicity Porter. I went to Palo Alto, too."

Caitlin's slender eyebrows arched upward. "You did? Gosh, this is like a little reunion, then, isn't it?" She flashed a brilliant smile, hooked one arm around Ben's, and the other around Felicity's. "You're obligated to tell me everything about yourself."

Felicity slanted a puzzled look over the woman's head at Ben, who marched along staring straight ahead.

- - - - -

They stopped for lunch at one of the many campsites furnished with picnic tables. Caitlin sat beside Ben, and Felicity sat across the table from them. "Thanks for the pop," the redhead chirped, holding up her bottle of cola.

Felicity smiled back. "Are you sure you don't want a sandwich?"

"No, thanks. I ate before the geyser tour."

Felicity propped her elbows on the table. "So…you're not originally from around here, obviously. I love your accent, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I'm as Irish as they come," she confirmed. "I came here to California originally on an exchange program. That's where I met Ben, during the senior year at Palo Alto. We sort of fell in together and he introduced me around."

Felicity glanced over at Ben. He'd never been much of a talker during the time she'd gotten to know him, but he was setting a new record for silence today. He sat finishing his sandwich, apparently willing to let Caitlin and Felicity handle the conversation.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you, though," Caitlin added.

Felicity blinked. "Uh…Ben and I weren't exactly friends in high school."

The redhead gave Ben a sidelong glare. "Were you mean to her? If he was mean to you, I swear I'll pop him. He always was a bit of a git about girls."

Amused at Caitlin's outburst, Felicity shook her head. "No, no. Nothing like that. We just didn't know each other." She grinned at Ben, who returned it with another inscrutable look.

Caitlin's eyes widened and she laughed, turning to face Ben. "Remember the time you, me, Jason and Kelly went to the drive-in and you gave us our very own intermission show?"

Ben ran a hand through his hair and gave that awkward smile again. "Could we not go over that?"

Ignoring this plea, Caitlin leaned across the table with a conspiratorial chuckle. "Ben happens to be world's worst juggler, but apparently that didn't stop him from being the love object of a bunch of sophomore girls."

Ben followed up this admission with a soft groan of embarrassment and put a hand to his forehead.

"We went to see this horrible gory picture about a haunted house, and during the intermission Ben tried juggling some apples. He thought he was a fine bit of stuff, until one of the apples flew out of his hand and smacked the girl walking behind him right on the head. He was _mortified_. _Completely_ lost his cool, apologized _all_ over the place. The girl was very nice about it, of course, but Ben here was probably a little _too_ apologetic, because she and her chums proceeded to make eyes at him for the rest of the night. Our Ben made quite an impression."

"I wasn't trying to impress them," Ben grumbled.

"Oh?" Caitlin giggled. "Just who were you trying to impress, then?"

Ben shrugged it off. "Nobody. I was just goofing around."

Felicity watched him in surprise. _Caitlin. He was trying to impress Caitlin._ She took another look at the redhead, who seemed completely unaware of the possibility. _Did he have a crush on her?_

"Are the two of you staying here, or just passing through?" Caitlin asked.

Felicity shook off her gnawing concern. "We rented a cabin for the weekend. We're on our way home to California for the summer. What about you?"

Caitlin drained the rest of her drink and sat back. "I'm here on holiday, actually. I've got a cousin here who's a ranger." She lit up. "I've got a brilliant idea. Why don't you come for dinner tonight? Riley would love the company."

"Ah…" Felicity trailed off.

"You _have_ to come. Riley's planning this chicken and wine sauce dish that's going to go to complete waste on me. He says I don't appreciate his cooking. Please come, or I'll go mad with the persecution."

Felicity couldn't help but smile at the redhead's entreaty. "Er…Ben?"

His eyes came up to meet hers, and then Caitlin's. "Sure, whatever. We can do that."

"Good, it's settled," the woman dimpled. She dug into her purse for a pen and paper and scribbled something down. "This is Riley's address. Don't bother getting all dressed up. Just come as you are. I've got to be off. Stop by about five o'clock, okay?"

"Sure," Felicity nodded. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ben wave goodbye.


	23. Second Impressions

23 – Second Impressions

Felicity got out of the car and stared up at the beautiful house with its pond and backdrop of evergreens. "Wow. This Riley knows how to live."

"Yeah," Ben agreed, coming around the car and taking her hand. They ascended the porch steps. Ben's knock on the door was answered by a great _WWWOOOF!_ from within the house.

The door opened on a dark-haired young man hauling on the collar of the biggest German Shepherd Felicity had ever seen. The dog barked again, and the sound blasted out into the yard, echoing in the air. _"DOWN, Max!"_ the man hollered.

The dog glanced at his owner, whined, and gave another half-hearted "Wuff" before backing away from the door.

The man held the door open with a chuckle. "Sorry. He gets a little excited and forgets his manners when company comes. I don't get many visitors out here in the sticks."

"Sure," Ben responded, stepping into the house with a cautious look at the huge dog. Felicity entered the house, and the man shut the door behind them.

Max wagged his tail furiously, every muscle twitching to come forward and greet the guests. _"Sit,"_ the man ordered. The dog gave him an impatient look and complied. The man held out his hand to Felicity, who stood nearer. "Riley Donagher. It's nice to meet you. Welcome to my place."

Felicity shook his hand. "Felicity Porter. It's nice to meet you, too. Thanks for having us over."

The man gave her a grin. His sky-blue eyes sparkled with humor. "Miss the chance to try my cooking on someone who cares? Never." He shook Ben's hand. "You must be Ben Covington. Nice to put a face to the name."

"Hey, how you doing?" Ben responded automatically. "This is some house."

"Thanks," Riley responded. "It's a rental. Comes with the job. I'm basically planning to work here forever, just so I can keep it."

Max gave a desperate whine, looking from his master to the visitors and back again. "All right, you big oaf. Be nice," Riley said.

The dog inched forward and shoved his nose under Ben's hand. Ben smiled and scratched him behind the ears. The dog's tail thumped on the hardwood floor and he closed his eyes in a look of sheer joy.

"I warn you. He's an attention hog," Riley added as Felicity came forward to pet the dog. "Why don't you guys come in and get comfortable? Dinner's almost ready."

Max trotted ahead into the large eat-in kitchen. The table was already set, and candles burned at either end. Caitlin stood at the counter putting the finishing touches on a salad. "Hi, guys. I'm glad you could come."

"Hey," Felicity and Ben said together. They gave each other a smile of amusement and sat down.

"What do you two like to drink?" Riley asked, moving to the fridge. "We've got water, milk, wine, just about every conceivable kind of soda…"

"Water's fine," Felicity said, petting the dog as he put his head on her knee. Max's tail swept the air. She looked down at the dog and laughed. "He's really sweet."

Riley pulled a pitcher of ice water from the fridge and brought it to the table to fill her glass. "Don't let him kid you. He can be a right pain in the posterior when he wants to, but he'll sit there all night if you keep petting him."

Felicity giggled at the dog's blissful expression and smiled up at Riley. "I don't mind. It's kind of sad living in a dorm where you can't have a pet."

Caitlin came to the table and set the salad bowl down. "I hope you two are hungry. There's enough food here for a small country. Riley's a firm believer in the 'more is better' theory."

Ben smiled and poured himself a glass of water. "It smells great. Do you need help getting anything on the table?"

"You just sit there and be your charming self," Caitlin ordered. "You're a guest." She moved back to the kitchen to get the chicken from the oven. The mouth-watering smell of roasted chicken wafted across the kitchen as she transferred the food to a platter.

"So…what have you been up to all this time?" Ben asked.

Caitlin brought the platter to the table, while Riley set the remaining dishes down. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "I finished up my high schooling, and went to university here in America for Parks and Rec, much like my accomplished cousin." She grinned at Riley. "He was very convincing about how exciting it is."

"Are you going to work here in Yellowstone?" Felicity wondered.

Caitlin shook her head. "Olympic National Park in Washington State. If you've never seen it, you _have_ to go. It's breathtaking."

Riley started carving the chicken. "Tuck in, you two. We don't stand on ceremony."

Dishes passed around the table. Max laid at Felicity's feet in the hopes of further attention, which made her smile. Conversation and laughter flowed freely. When Ben offered to drive home, Felicity decided to have a glass of wine, after all. Coupled with the roasted chicken, it tasted wonderful. The chicken melted in her mouth. "Riley, your cooking is amazing. I wish I could say I cook this good."

"Uh-oh," Caitlin grinned, rolling her eyes.

Riley lit up. "Well, thank you. It's nice to have someone over who appreciates it," he added with an amused smirk at Caitlin.

"My cousin, the amateur chef. Why didn't you go to cooking school?" Caitlin groaned.

"I was a hair's breadth from it," admitted the man to his guests. "I've always juggled between a career in the outdoors and one as a chef."

"Sounds like me with art and medicine," commented Felicity, helping herself to some salad.

"Oh, you're an artist?" asked Riley, looking interested. "My mother used to paint. I have some of her work hanging in the den, if you'd like to see it."

"Yeah, I'd love that."

Caitlin propped an elbow on the table. "So, Ben. What have you been up to since high school? Do you see Kelly at all?"

Ben hunched his shoulders. "No. Not really, no."

Caitlin looked surprised. "Really? She used to talk about you all the time. I'd have thought you two would have dated—"

"Yeah, for a little while."

Felicity raised her eyebrows at Ben's obvious discomfort. "Who's Kelly?"

"Just this girl from high school we used to hang out with," Ben said, stabbing a forkful of chicken and shoveling it into his mouth.

Riley must have noticed Ben's reticence. "What medium do you work in, Felicity?"

Eager to change the subject and spare Ben whatever uneasiness he was having, Felicity answered, "Pastels, paints, graphite. Pretty much anything that can be done on flatwork."

"Well, if you get the chance to paint while you're at Yellowstone, you should definitely take it. Lots of artists come here. This place is made for painting."

"I'm noticing that. We probably won't have the time for it while we're here, but I've taken about a million pictures so that I can use them to paint from later," Felicity beamed.

- - - - -

After dinner, Caitlin got up to clear away the dishes. Ben offered to help while Riley led Felicity off to the den to see the artwork. Ben watched them go with a suspicious eye. He thought he'd picked up on a vibe from Riley of interest in Felicity. _I could be wrong._

Then again, he could be right. It didn't sit with him any better than did the discomfort of spending an evening in close quarters with Caitlin. He'd liked her from the minute they met senior year in high school. Putting some dishes in the sink, he risked a glance at her. She still looked great. He felt his stomach tighten with residual attraction when she caught him looking and dimpled at him. _Is this the way Felicity felt about me all that time? And I didn't give her the time of day? Nice going, __Covington__. What a jerk._ He shook himself out of it and went to finish clearing away the table.

As he turned to go back to the sink with the last of the dishes, he was stopped dead by Caitlin standing right in front of him. "Hi," she smiled, taking hold of the stack of dishes in his hands.

Ben didn't let go.

She didn't, either. Her lips curled upward. "I, uh…I can take that."

"Sorry." He released them.

Her smile expanded into a grin. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He looked out the window over the sink. The setting sun cast a reddish-gold glow on the tops of the evergreens behind the house. "This place is incredible."

Caitlin set the dishes on the counter. "Why don't I give you the five-cent tour while they're talking art? Come on."

She led him through the sliding door to the back deck. Max, not to be denied a trip outdoors, darted through the open door with a "Wuff" and galloped down the deck steps into the huge yard. He shot across the lawn and into the woods.

"Don't worry about him. He stays close to home," Caitlin said when Ben gave the darkening woods a look of concern. "He's just being nosy out there."

The air was growing cool with the coming evening. Ben inhaled the scent of pine and cedar. "How can you not want to live here?"

She laughed and waved him along as they descended the deck and crossed the lawn. "I'm here enough that I ought to start renting a room," she admitted. They crossed the lawn and reached the edge of the trees. "My cousin's property runs from the pond on that side over to the unmowed field on the other, there. It goes back into the trees until it gets to a creek. It's nice for him, because he hates living on top of other people."

Max's excited barking distracted them from further conversation. "We better see what he's up to," the redhead laughed.

Ben followed her into the woods along a well-trodden path. The dog's barking got progressively louder until they saw him dancing around a tangle of bushes at the edge of the creek. The dog looked up at them and whined.

"What have you got?" Caitlin wondered, pulling the dog back from the shrubbery. "Sit. Stay." Max whined, but obeyed. Caitlin ducked to look into the bushes.

A second later she yelped and jumped back as a pair of grouse burst out of the bushes into the air. She barreled laughing into Ben, who grabbed her by the elbow to steady her. Max barked again and raced after the birds, disappearing once more.

"Sorry," she hooted. "I should have known better. Max has a bit of a bird problem." When Ben didn't let go of her elbow, she looked up at him.

Ben saw her eyes go soft in the dimming light filtering through the treetops. He dropped her elbow and shoved his hands in his back pockets. She'd never looked at him like that before. _Is she…?_

Caitlin smiled. "It's good to see you again, Ben." She glanced away with a quiet laugh, then back up to him. "Kelly was lucky to have dated you."

_Kelly was a substitute for you,_ Ben thought. Then he thought about how things had ended up with Kelly. _I was a complete jerk to her._ He scuffed the ground with his sneaker. "I don't know about that."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I was just…stupid. I shouldn't have gone out with her. She was—She was nice, and I was just an idiot."

"I'm sure you didn't mean it," Caitlin frowned, putting a hand on his arm.

Ben shrugged awkwardly. "Can we just not talk about Kelly?"

Caitlin nodded. "Sure." She let her hand drop away from his arm and sighed. "You know, I missed you. I didn't realize how much I missed you."

Ben looked back at her. Her eyes were still soft with concern and affection. A whole slew of old emotions swept through him. Angry with himself, he cleared his throat. "I, um… Caitlin, I'm with Felicity."

The redhead's eyebrows shot up. He saw her blush. "Felicity? Oh… Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm such a dope. I should have known."

Still fighting with old guilts and attractions, Ben shook his head. "It's okay. I—I like you, Caitlin. I always did. I just…"

"Don't explain. I don't want you to explain," Caitlin interrupted, shaking her head and breaking into a smile at last. "Why don't we…just go back to the house and have a cup of coffee?"

"Sure," Ben smiled back, glancing through the trees toward the house.

"Well, she's really lucky, Ben Covington." Caitlin reached up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek at the exact moment Ben turned his head to look back at her, and their lips met. Surprised, and a little ashamed at the sudden rush of temptation, Ben froze in place and just let it happen. Caitlin stiffened with astonishment at first, but then he felt her relax and press forward against him. She raised her hand to his cheek, and for a few seconds Ben felt everything they might have had in high school, if he'd just gotten the nerve to ask her out.

Then she stepped back and let her hand fall. She searched his face for a moment, and then gave him a smiling, pensive look. "You know what? I think I kind of like being someone's missed opportunity." She hooked her thumbs in her pockets with an amiable grin. "How about that coffee?"

And then Ben realized just how important that kiss had been. He was transported back, not to high school, but to Sean's loft and the day Felicity had argued with him about going on the road trip. He felt her slipping away from him with every excuse she gave. _No. Come with me. Don't back out on this!_ She kept talking, giving him explanations, putting words between them. Recklessly, Ben lunged forward out of his chair and kissed her. That kiss had blown through him like wildfire. Afterward, he'd felt stunned by it, by what he'd done in a single brash moment of action.

Of any of the chances that had come and gone in his life so far, that would have been the one he regretted missing the most. Ben smiled. Some choices were better left unmade. Others…well, he was glad he hadn't missed them.


	24. A Good Catch

24 – A Good Catch

Felicity angled her head from side to side, squinting at the painting. She took a step backward, and then giggled. "Oh, it's a _dog_. I see. There's the nose, and those are the ears."

"Exactly. It's Max as a puppy. This was my mom's experiment in cubism. She decided she didn't like it right after that," Riley laughed. "This next one, you'll like a lot better."

He was right. Felicity moved to the next painting, a scene of an elegant-looking woman in a simple white sundress and straw hat, tending to a bank of sunflowers. Light filtered through the broad leaves and dappled the ground. "Wow. This is beautiful. I can almost smell the sunshine and green grass."

"That's my mom." Riley came up beside her. "She loves flowers. She has this huge garden that she used to use to inspire her work. It's like the only time she ever painted herself into one of her compositions."

"I love it. The colors, the whole feel of it. It makes me feel all warm, just looking at it."

He grinned. "Handy, when you consider the winters around here are brutal."

Felicity slipped her hands into her back pockets. "Wow. Your mom's really gifted. Did she take classes?"

Riley angled his head at her, looking thoughtful. "Thanks. She'll be glad you liked her stuff. No, she's self-taught."

"Why doesn't she paint anymore?"

"She sort of gave it up after my dad got sick, so she could take care of him. He's okay now," Riley added quickly. "He had a bit of a fight with cancer, but he beat it."

Felicity smiled. "That's great. That's really great." She gestured to the sunflower painting. "But your mom…she shouldn't give up on this. She's so good at it. I mean, if I was this good…I'd live for it."

"Who says you're not?"

Laughing, Felicity said, "You haven't seen any of my work."

Riley passed a finger close over the canvas. "If you can appreciate the colors and the impression of it, you're more of an artist than you think. My mother says art is more about emotion than accuracy."

Felicity looked from him to the painting and back again. _I guess Papaleo was right, earlier this year at school. I'm already an artist._ "Well, I think she should start painting again."

"Yeah." Riley looked down at her. "What, uh… What are you doing tomorrow? Do you have plans?"

Surprised by this advance, Felicity shrugged. "Uh… I think… Ben and I, we were going to go for a trail hike and try to see some wildlife."

"Right. OK." He nodded briefly and glanced at the painting again. "Would you want to come back for dinner tomorrow?"

Felicity shuffled a foot. "I… I don't think… We were just going to…" She glanced uncertainly up at him. "I—I should—we should get going, actually."

"Yeah," he responded. For a nerve-wracking second, Felicity thought he was going to try and kiss her, but he broke into a grin. "Just between you and me, I kind of wish I was Ben right now."

She relaxed into a smile. "Thanks."

They heard the back door slide open. Max's collar jingled as he trotted into the house.

"You did not!" came Caitlin's laughter.

Ben's voice floated into the den, sounding amused. "I did too. I'm serious. Why would I lie about it?"

Riley and Felicity smiled at each other once more and went back out to the kitchen.

"You are _so_ not the guy I knew in high school," Caitlin teased. She shot a skeptical look at Felicity. "Did he actually take a drama class?"

"Yeah, he did," giggled Felicity.

Ben gave the redhead a smug look. "See?"

"You are _not_ an actor," Caitlin told him with a scowl of disdain.

"That's what I tried to tell him, but I somehow got a B in the class, anyway." He grinned at Felicity. "Ready to go?"

She nodded. Max trotted over to her and nudged his nose under her hand. Felicity obliged him with a scratch behind the ears.

Riley and Caitlin walked them to the door and the boys shook hands. Caitlin hugged Ben. Felicity saw her murmur something in his ear that made him smile and wondered at it. She felt the faint, irrational stirrings of jealousy that Caitlin had a part of him she'd never even known.

She didn't have much more time to think on it, because Riley came forward to shake her hand. "I hope you get into more artwork. If you ever need a good resource, just write and I'll send the letter on to Mom. I'm sure she'd love to talk shop with you."

"Thanks. And thanks for dinner. It really was amazing."

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Please don't encourage him. I'm going to hear it all night, now." She surprised Felicity by giving her a hug. Lowering her voice, the redhead whispered, "You take good care of Ben. He's crazy about you."

They drew apart, and Felicity smiled. "Thanks. It was good to meet you, Caitlin."

Max's tail swiped the air. He darted between Ben and Felicity, demanding his own farewells. Ben scratched under the big dog's chin with a laugh.

When they were finally in the car again, on their way back to the cabin, Felicity stared thoughtfully out the window for a while. At last, she looked over at Ben in the driver's seat, but he was concentrating on the road. "Caitlin… She's really nice."

"Yeah. She and I were good friends, senior year." He chuckled. "She taught my friends and me how to play rugby."

"Rugby?"

"Yeah. Don't ever play rugby. It'll _kill you_."

Felicity raised her eyebrows and fell into another bout of silence for the next few minutes of the drive. "So, what did you and Caitlin talk about, outside?"

Ben gave her a sidelong look of speculation. "Are you jealous of Caitlin?"

She cringed, and immediately covered it with a smirk. "No, of course not." She scraped a lock of hair behind her ear.

With uncanny perception, he laughed. "You are, too."

"I said I wasn't."

Ben reached across the seat and took her hand. "Listen, there is _nothing_ there to be jealous about. You know what she said to me before we left?"

"What?" she asked, not really certain she wanted to hear it.

"She said, 'Don't let that girl out of your sight. She's a good catch.'"

Felicity gave him a skeptical stare. _The Maybelline model thinks _I'm_ a good catch?_

Ben laughed again. "Don't look at me like that. That's what she said."

Felicity looked back out the windshield and couldn't help but smile.


	25. Checkmate

25 – Checkmate

When they returned to the cabin, Felicity entered the main room with a shiver, rubbing her arms and dancing in place. "It's _freezing_ in here. I could never get used to the temperature changes in this place. It's like _winter_."

"I'll get a fire going. How does a cup of hot chocolate sound?"

"It sounds _wonderful_," Felicity said. "Give me fifteen minutes to thaw out in a hot shower, and I'm there." So saying, she hurried toward the bedroom for a warm set of pajamas.

While she was in the shower, Ben moved about the kitchen getting the hot chocolate ready. He set a pan of water on the stove to heat and went to get the marshmallows from a cupboard when Felicity's voice floated out into the kitchen, raised in mid-song. He grinned to himself. _She sings in the shower._ He couldn't tell what the song was, some drippy pop song from the radio, probably, but she sounded cute singing it. He turned to another cupboard to get the mugs.

They only had about a week left of their trip. The past week had flown by in spite of the long drives and monotonous highways between cities. _Being home is going to suck after this._ What did he have to look forward to? Finding some crummy job to pay for his credit card charges and next year's college expenses. That was going to take up most of his time. He knew he'd have to see his father. His mom and dad would probably get in an argument and she'd get all upset, and Ben would have to watch her deal with that.

His friends would be glad to see him, at least. They'd probably go shoot some hoops up at the high school, catch a pick-up game of football at the park or something. He and Felicity could—

Ben halted in mid-thought. Until that moment, he hadn't thought much further ahead than the next day or two of their road trip. He hadn't wanted to spoil it by dwelling on what waited at the end of it. His friends were, and had always been, part of Palo Alto High School's undisputed "in" crowd. Everybody knew that. Ben himself had always taken his popularity for granted as something that came with being good at sports. He hadn't cared about it much, then, and didn't, now. But he'd seen how some of the popular guys used to pick on the kids that weren't. Jason left them alone. Eric had always been more interested in the cheerleaders than anything the smart kids were doing. Kurt was a different story.

Kurt spent an entire month making friendly overtures toward a shy freshman girl with freckles and glasses. The other guys teased him about it, but Kurt just smiled and shrugged it off. Ben got to thinking he actually liked the girl until the day Kurt turned her down flat, loudly and obnoxiously, in front of the entire lunchroom when she asked him out. The girl fled the room in tears and didn't come to school for the next two days. Felicity hadn't been in school that day, now that Ben recalled the episode. He wondered what she'd think of him and his friends if she'd witnessed that scene.

_What will they think of her?_

Ben shook his head and went to a kitchen drawer for spoons. _Who cares what they think?_ he thought, vehemently shoving that worry into the back of his mind.

Felicity came into the kitchen, showered and clad in a pair of blue flannel pajamas. "Hey, your water's boiling over."

Ben jerked into the present and grabbed the handle of the pan without thinking, singeing his hand. He snarled and seized a potholder, yanking the pan off the burner. Water sloshed over the sides of the pan and fizzled on the hot stovetop.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he spat, then regretted how it came out. He scowled. "Sorry. I was just—just thinking."

Felicity took the hot cocoa mix from the counter and began spooning it into the mugs. "About what?"

"Nothing. Nothing important." _They'll never take her seriously. They're gonna think I'm messing with her, like Kurt did with that girl._ Ben's lip curled into a sneer at the thought.

"Ben, what is it? You look really upset—"

"It's nothing," he repeated, feeling prickly. He liked his high school friends. They'd been through a lot of crap together. What he didn't like was the thought of having to justify his relationship with Felicity to them. Or even that he felt compelled to.

And that was a whole other issue. His relationship with Felicity was so new, so intense, so _everything_, that he wasn't even sure what to feel about it himself, let alone how to explain it to someone else. _I should tell her some of this stuff. She should know._ He opened his mouth and closed it again. _Tell her what?_ It was easier just to let things be what they were, hope for the best, and worry about Palo Alto when they got there. _I've changed some since high school. Maybe they have, too._

He realized she was staring at him with a mixture of hurt and confusion, and snapped to attention. "I'm sorry. I'm just being an idiot." He came up behind her to take his mug and kissed her on the cheek.

She gave him another doubtful look. "Are you sure you're—"

"I'm fine," he interrupted, flashing a grin. "Quit asking."

She dimpled at him then, causing him to bend close for another kiss. _Later_, he promised himself. _I'll deal with it later._

- - - - -

"Look, an old chessboard," she said, pulling the carved wooden board from a cedar trunk resting near the wood stove.

"Yeah? What else is in there?"

Felicity set the board in her lap and withdrew a pouch of game pieces. "Just a bunch of extra blankets and sheets. Have you ever played chess?"

He laughed, with that tone of surprise as if the idea were inconceivable. "Chess? No. No chess."

"Do you want to learn how?"

Still sounding amused, he came to join her on the floor. "Sure."

Felicity laid the chessboard between them and set up the pieces, explaining how each one was placed on the board in relation to the others, and what moves they were allowed to make. "The king only gets to move one space at a time in any direction. The queen gets to move in whatever direction she wants, for however many spaces, either straight or diagonally."

"Doesn't seem very fair that the king only gets one move and the queen can do whatever she wants," Ben grinned.

Felicity smiled back. "White goes first." She moved a pawn one space ahead. "Your turn."

Ben considered for a moment, then set out his knight. "Did you play a lot?"

"When I was younger, my dad and I used to play chess all the time," she admitted. "Not so much when I got out of middle school. I always had so much homework, and when I didn't, Dad was away at some meeting." She advanced another pawn.

"Your dad must have been busy a lot," he mused, moving out another piece.

"Yeah. I always admired how hard he worked. I thought anybody that worked that hard must be really dedicated, really love what he does. I wanted to be a doctor because he made it look so important…so rewarding, you know?"

"Yeah, that must be cool."

Felicity looked up at him, but his eyes were on the board. She looked back down at the pieces again. "I'm still not a hundred percent sure I see myself as a doctor. Sometimes I think I should have stayed with art. It's hard…making that commitment. I don't always know if I'm doing the right thing."

He gave a soft, wry laugh.

She looked up again. "What?"

Ben shook his head, still studying the chessboard. "It's just funny to hear you say that."

"Why?"

"You just seem like you've always known what you wanted," he shrugged.

They fell into absorption in the game for a while. Felicity explained the movements of her pieces as they played. She was surprised and pleased to find that Ben was winning. "You're good at this." She eyed him in suspicion.

He grinned. "Maybe I just learn fast."

Felicity felt herself blushing for no particular reason and looked back down at the board. She made a hurried motion with her queen.

Ben made another move.

Felicity thrust a bishop forward on the board.

Ben took it with his knight.

With her ears burning, and not quite certain why, she moved out one of her knights.

Ben sent his own bishop forward. He scowled in deliberation at the board. "Check. Is this check?"

Felicity took a better look at the board. "Ah…that's checkmate. You won."

He beamed at her, sitting back with a self-satisfied look at his handiwork. "This is good. I like chess."

Felicity gave him another hard stare. "Are you _sure_ you never played chess before?"

Still grinning, he shook his head. Then his grin faded.

His stare sent shivers up her spine. Felicity swallowed.

Ben rose into a crouch and moved forward across the board, scattering chess pieces. He laid one warm hand against her cheek and kissed her.

Felicity's heartbeat surged. His mouth felt soft against hers. Her shivers multiplied. He raised his other hand to her face, cupping it between his palms. She heard the clatter of more chess pieces rolling away across the floor as he pressed forward. His hand slid around behind her head, threading into her hair. Felicity raised her hands to his face and leaned backward, following his motion.

The two fell back onto the floor with a thump and rattle of chessmen. Ben caught her just before her head would have hit the floor, laughing softly. Felicity smiled between kisses and reached her arms around his torso. _I can't believe this. I still can't believe I'm kissing him. I feel like I must be dreaming._

She felt his hand slide out of her hair and trail down her side, warm even through her flannel shirt. Felicity shivered again.

He reached for her hand, drawing away and pulling her onto her feet as he stood up. "Why don't we go make use of that nice bed I didn't get to use last night?"

"You mean—You mean you—we…?"

"_We_ are just getting comfortable. That's it," he assured her. He took her other hand and held them both between his. "I'm going to make a fire, because your hands are freezing, and we're going to climb under those blankets, and we're going to enjoy being together, and there will be no poetry. Okay?"

She dimpled at the disarming grin on his face. "Okay."


	26. That Was Then

26 – That Was Then

Ben finished stoking the fire in the bedroom wood stove. Felicity watched as he cupped his hands to his mouth and puffed into them. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who was cold. Her own shivers had nothing to do with the temperature in the room, but she didn't tell him that.

He turned toward the bed. Felicity moved over to make room, and he hurried under the covers with a grin. "Better now?"

Felicity wiggled her toes under the down comforter. "Much better."

Ben slipped his arms around her and tugged her toward him. Felicity settled into the hollow of his arm and rested her head on his chest. She sighed wistfully. "After this, the rest of our vacation is going to pale in comparison."

"Yeah. How do you top Yellowstone?" Ben agreed. "Taking this trip with you has been really cool."

"I wish we didn't have to go home."

"Me, too." He tugged her closer for a kiss. "But we're not home, yet, so let's not worry about it."

"Right," she grinned, inching upward and folding her arms on his chest. "I think tomorrow we should go hiking around up by the hot springs and take a lunch. What do you think?"

"Sure."

They talked for the rest of the night about what they'd seen on their trip so far and what their favorite places had been…not including their current stop, which both agreed couldn't be improved upon. Ben held out for the Basketball Hall of Fame, while Felicity decided that Washington was her next pick for the best place.

"Washington? We were barely talking in Washington. What was so great about it?" chuckled Ben.

Felicity blushed and looked away, shrugging. "That was… You know. That was where we had our…_second_ kiss." She looked back up at him through her lashes.

He burst into a smile. "You know what? You're right. Washington was pretty good after all." He laughed and gave her a peck on the lips. "So this makes kiss number…?"

"I don't know," she giggled. "I lost count."

"Me, too. Let's lose count some more," he grinned, pulling her closer and kissing her thoroughly.

Felicity ceased to think of anything but his warmth and the crackling of the fire in the tiny wood stove for the next several minutes.

When he drew back and smiled at her, she beamed from ear to ear and lay back on his chest. Between kissing Ben and talking about anything that came to mind with him, she decided that the night was the most perfect one she'd ever had. So far, the road trip had been everything she'd ever dreamed about and more.

So much so, that she dreaded the end of it, which would mean a harsh return to reality. Other things, other people would pull them away from each other. _What's he going to think of me when he sees what I'm really like? My friends, my whole life at home? He was so popular, so good at everything. I was just this…freak._

She thought about the time she'd almost—_almost_—worked up the courage to ask him to a school dance. She'd been sitting in the school cafeteria with Shelly Feldmeier and a few other girls when Ben and his friends walked in and headed toward the lunch line.

Ben had a book bag slung carelessly over one shoulder and a basketball tucked under the other arm. He looked incredible in his green hooded sweatshirt. She loved that shirt on him. It set off the sandy blond of his hair and his amazing green eyes. She loved the way he walked, that air of loosely-reined power in his movements. The way he laughed sounded so good, she couldn't help but smile whenever she heard it. And speaking of smiles! He lit up the room. He was the most—

"Felicity, if you stare any harder, you're going to knock him over," Shelly giggled.

Felicity blushed and lowered her gaze to her lunch tray. A half-eaten bowl of soup, an untouched apple, and a carton of chocolate milk sat before her. She glanced up at the clock and realized with a start that lunch was nearly over. _I bet he spent most of his lunch playing basketball with his friends._ She looked around the table and saw the other girls grinning at her. A couple of them stifled giggles of their own. Except for Laura, she noticed, seeing the always-well-dressed, curly-not-frizzy brunette chuckle openly. Laura never bothered to hide it when she was laughing at Felicity's slip-ups.

Instead of glaring at Laura like she should have, Felicity blushed further. Every one of them knew she was in love with Ben Covington, and that he'd hardly ever said a word to her. Laura picked on her about it, which was humiliating. She glanced toward the lunch line again. Ben had trailed behind his friends, looking over the dessert bar. She mustered up her bravery in the face of her embarrassment. "I'm going to ask him to the dance."

The girls _ooh_ed and lapsed into stares of awed silence, even Laura, which Felicity found oddly satisfying. She only had a moment to bask in their collective surprise before the reality of what she'd just proposed settled in. _Oh, no._

Shelly grabbed her arm. "_Really?_ You should! Do it, go ask him!" She shoved at Felicity, urging her out of her seat.

Now that she'd actually _said_ it, she had to _do_ it. She'd never hear the end of it otherwise. She glanced at Laura. The brunette gave her a haughty look as if she were certain Felicity didn't have that kind of nerve. _I do, too, and I'll prove it._ Giving Laura the glare after all, Felicity stood up with her tray, feeling rather proud of herself. She turned and headed quickly across the cafeteria toward Ben, on the pretense of bringing her tray to the disposal area.

What happened next was something out of the worst high school nightmare imaginable. Ben started away from the dessert bar, and Felicity walked faster to catch up with him. She glanced over her shoulder just for a _second_, to make sure snotty Laura Christie was watching, and it happened.

She tripped over someone's duffel bag lying on the floor. The tray went hurtling into the air. Soup and chocolate milk flew everywhere. Some of it splattered against a nearby sophomore boy, who shouted an angry, "Hey! Watch where you're going, will you?! God, you freak!"

The apple sailed into the air in a perfect arc and landed in a trash can beside the dessert bar. Felicity landed painfully on her hands and knees, and the tray, bowl, and milk carton clattered to the floor. The entire crowd in the cafeteria cheered and clapped.

"Hey, Porter! Nice shot! Maybe you should try out for the basketball team!"

Mortified in the extreme, Felicity dared to look up. Across the cafeteria, Ben's friend Kurt Angiolillo laughed and wolf-whistled in her direction, giving her the thumbs-up. The other two boys were grinning at her. _I will not look at Ben. I won't. I refuse._

"Are you okay?"

The soft sound of Ben's voice brought a flush to her cheeks that outstripped the embarrassment of her accident. Her ears burned, and she was glad for once for the frizzy mane that covered them. _What-do-I-say, What-do-I-say, What-do-I-say?__ Oh, my God._ She looked up. Ben stood not more than four feet away at the end of the dessert bar, staring down at her. She almost forgot to breathe. "Uh… I…" Her face burned. _Oh, God, he can see me blushing. I'm such an idiot. How did I think he'd want to go to a stupid dance with me? _She snapped her mouth shut, scraping up the tray and its contents. "Sorry." Scrambling to her feet, she dumped the whole thing in the trash can, never mind the fact that the tray and utensils weren't disposable, and hurried back to her seat. She snatched up her books and purse, and flew out of the cafeteria with the sound of laughter chasing her.

"Felicity, wait!" Shelly called. Felicity heard the pounding of feet echoing down the hall as her friend chased after her. Shelly caught up with her just as she passed the cafeteria's opposite doorway. Shelly grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Are you okay?"

Her words echoed the ones Ben had said moments before. Felicity felt the sting of tears in her eyes. _He was so nice to me. He asked if I was okay. He even looked like he was going to help me up, while everyone else just sat there and laughed. His friends laughed._ "I'm such an idiot!" she burst out, letting loose the tears. She wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "I don't know what made me think I could go talk to him. He'd never go with me, anyway. Laura's right. He's good-looking and popular, and I'm just a total train wreck."

"Laura's just jealous. I saw Ben look at you that time in Math class," Shelly vowed, taking a couple of her books.

"That's because I dropped my calculator."

"He was looking still when everyone else looked away," insisted Shelly. She slid an arm around Felicity's shoulders. "Come on. Let's go to the girls' lavatory until next class."

The girls walked away down the hall together just as the bell rang.

Felicity came back to the present with a start. She shook her head in self-contempt, not realizing she did so.

"What's the matter?"

Ben's voice brought her fully back to her current surroundings. Still feeling the remembered embarrassment of her colossal fall and its mocking ovation, Felicity rolled away and sat up against the pillows. "Nothing. I was just remembering something stupid."

Ben sat up, too, smiling. "Well, now you've got me curious. What?"

Reddening with humiliation even now, Felicity hunched into her pillows. "This one time in high school, I actually worked up the nerve to talk to you and totally made a fool of myself in front of the whole school. I dropped my lunch tray—"

"I remember that. You didn't answer me when I asked if you got hurt."

Felicity couldn't look at him. Kurt's laughter echoed in her ears. "Yeah."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?" she murmured, still distracted by Kurt's ridicule that day.

"Did you get hurt when you fell?"

Felicity drew her knees up and hugged them, staring at the pattern of her pajamas. "I scraped up my hands a little," she admitted. "It wasn't… It wasn't the fall that hurt."

Ben was silent for a moment, then she felt the mattress shift as he moved closer. She looked up in puzzlement when he reached for her arms, pulling them away from her knees. Surprised, she let him.

Ben turned her hands palm-upward in his own. He kissed one palm. "One for this hand." He kissed the other. "One for this one." He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the mouth. "And one for everything else."

His words arrowed straight down into her soul past every hurt, every disappointment, every defense she'd ever put up. Tears sprang to her eyes. She didn't even try to stop them as they trickled down her cheeks. She felt herself take that moment, the look in his eyes—a look just for _her_—and lock it away inside herself like a treasure. She sniffled loudly and threw her arms around his neck. "You have no idea how wonderful you are, do you?"

He laughed and hugged her. "I'm glad you think so."

"I know it," she declared, kissing his cheek.


	27. This Is Now

27 – This Is Now

They slept late on Sunday morning. The woodpecker came and went without waking them. Felicity finally stirred at the sound of a horn honking outside, and the voices of company visiting the next cabin over. _This is our last full day,_ she thought gloomily. She sighed and pulled back the covers, getting ready to swing out of bed.

Ben's arm tightened around her waist. "Don't get up yet. This is too nice to waste with being up."

She smiled and burrowed back under the covers, turning toward him.

Ben shifted, slid both arms around her, and pulled her onto his chest. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she beamed, taking in his smile and his tousled hair. She glanced over at the tiny clock on her nightstand. "It's kind of late, and it is our last whole day here. Any chance of getting you out of bed if I offer to make breakfast?"

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Sure, try and tempt me with food."

Felicity giggled and started to sit up. "Isn't that what they say? The way to a man's heart—"

"Is not through his stomach, in spite of what _'they'_ say," Ben rumbled in amusement. He tugged on her arm. "Get back here."

Her arm swept out from under her, and she landed on him with a squeak. Ben jerked the covers up over their heads and grabbed her in a bear hug, kissing her. "There is no hiking. There's no lake, there's no hot springs, and there's definitely nothing out there to see today. It's boring. Yellowstone sucks…except for this cabin. This bed. This bed is the not-sucky thing about Yellowstone. You should stay here." He laughed.

Felicity laughed with him. It was impossible not to. The sound was too infectious to resist. When he pulled her even closer for more kisses, she kissed him back with equal fervor. They passed a few very pleasant minutes.

Ben pulled away at last with a wicked grin, spilling her off his chest. He swept the blankets off them and sat up. "On second thought, food doesn't suck, either."

"Hey!" she cried indignantly, flinging a pillow at him.

Ben laughed and fended off another flying pillow, getting to his feet to check the fire in the wood stove. He blocked a third pillow aimed at his head. "All right. All right! Let me get in the shower and—"

Felicity lobbed the last pillow at his midsection. With a grin, Ben caught it and tackled her on the bed, slapping the pillow over her head. Felicity gave a muffled squeak and kicked at him, but he pinned her down. "Okay! Uncle! Whatever!" she hooted, attempting to wrest her arms out from underneath him.

"I win," Ben said smugly, taking the pillow off of her and letting her up.

"Nuisance."

He pulled a change of clothes from the dresser and left the room laughing.

Felicity sat cross-legged in the middle of the rumpled bed and just glowed.

- - - - -

Their last full day was somewhat bittersweet at first, but they had so much to do that Felicity soon forgot that this was nearly the end of their stay at Yellowstone. The first order of business was to find a car wash for The Baby. After that, they began working their way through their list of remaining things to check out. They saw quite a lot of birds and a herd of bison on their drive up to the hot springs. Felicity took two rolls of film at the springs alone as they steamed into the bright air.

They were on their way through a half-mile hike when Ben grabbed her by the shoulder, stopping her on the trail. "Felicity, look," he murmured.

She turned and looked where he pointed, down a slope into a large meadow many yards away. Something moved in the grass. And another something behind it. And another.

A shaggy grey head emerged from the tall grasses in the lead, and Felicity saw her first wild wolf. She gasped and covered her mouth in awe. Several feet behind the first wolf, a second lean grey form loped into view. That one glanced right toward them before continuing on its way. The last wolf to emerge from the high grass was pure white. She was afraid to speak above a whisper. "Oh, my God. They're so beautiful."

Ben grabbed her camera and snapped a photo before the lupine trio before they trotted away into the trees at the end of the meadow.

Realizing he'd caught them on film, Felicity came back to herself. "Oh… Thanks. I completely forgot about my camera."

Ben grinned at her, then looked back in the direction the wolves had gone. "That was cool."

Felicity fizzed with enthusiasm, unable to help jumping up and down. "We saw wolves!"

He laughed and took her hand, and they continued on their hike.

They stopped for lunch alongside the trail, then turned back the way they came to get the car. For the rest of the afternoon, they toured various spots that they had previously missed. Felicity finally got her picture of Old Faithful, just by chance, when they decided to make a stop at the visitor center nearby.

In the evening, they joined a ranger-led campfire program discussing Yellowstone's history. Afterward, the group enjoyed cocoa and roasted marshmallows. The brisk air was filled with the sound of popping fire and laughter.

A young couple sat beside them holding hands with their heads bent together in intimate conversation. Felicity smiled at the romantic sight.

The woman turned around. Seeing Felicity, she asked, "Could you pass us a refill on the cocoa?"

"Sure," Felicity smiled, reaching for the pot beside the fire. She handed it over to the woman. "That was a cool presentation, don't you think?"

"It really was," the woman agreed, brushing a lock of long, straight brown hair away from her face with a mittened hand. "We've never been here," she added, indicating the broad-shouldered blond man beside her. "We just got married, so this was our honeymoon present to each other."

"Oh! Congratulations, then!" enthused Felicity, saluting them with her mug of cocoa.

"Thank you." The woman leaned toward her and held out her hand to shake Felicity's. "I'm Noelle, and this is Michael."

"Hi. Nice to meet you," Michael said. He reached forward and shook hands with Felicity and Ben. "How long have you two been here?"

"This was our last day," answered Ben. "If you haven't seen it yet, you should take the short trail up by Mammoth Hot Springs. We took it today and we saw wolves passing through a field."

"Oh, wolves! Honey, we have to see the wolves," Noelle smiled, squeezing her husband's hand.

Chuckling, Michael helped himself to another marshmallow from the bag passing around the fire. "And the elk. And the bison. And the eagles. And the bears—"

"You just stop it," Noelle scolded in good-natured tones. She grinned at them. "He picks on me because I love animals." She settled against her new husband with a comfortable ease that made Felicity smile wistfully. "It's a shame this is your last day. I don't know how we'll ever leave this place. Where are you from?"

"California," supplied Felicity. "What about you?"

"We're from Vermont. Kind of the polar opposite," laughed Michael.

The four of them talked a while longer, and eventually the fire began to die down. People trailed away in twos and threes, reminding Felicity that the night was over. Ben was talking avidly about the hiking in the park. She looked from him back to the newlyweds, who were cuddled close together holding hands as they chatted with him. _I wonder what it must be like to know that you get to spend the rest of your life with someone you love. They look so happy together._ She gave a dreamy sigh.

Ben reached an arm around her, bringing her out of her reverie. "We should get going."

"Us, too," Noelle agreed, beaming as she and Michael stood up. "I hope you have a safe trip home to California."

"Yeah, thanks. And congratulations, again," Ben said, shaking their hands.

They went back to the car, and Felicity fell silent for the drive.

"Something wrong?"

Realizing how quiet she'd been, Felicity smiled. "No. Nothing. It was just so sweet how they held hands the whole time. It must be so romantic coming here for a honeymoon." She saw Ben grin. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just funny."

"How am I funny?"

Ben shrugged amiably. "The way you get about little stuff, stuff like that. Holding hands and everything. You get all… I don't know. It's just funny." He reached across the seat for her hand, and Felicity burst into an automatic grin of her own. "See what I mean?"

She giggled, and he gave her hand a squeeze.


	28. All Good Things

28 – All Good Things

Felicity sighed in resignation as they drove past the sign leaving Yellowstone. She'd made some amazing memories there…she and Ben. "I'm going to miss this place for the rest of my life."

"That much, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I guess we'll have to come back some time."

Surprised, she looked over at the passenger seat to find him grinning as he crunched into an apple. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not? We're veteran travelers now. The open road. Whitman, and all." He unfolded the map in his lap as if to illustrate.

She beamed and turned her attention back to the road. "I want to head toward Blackfoot. Which way?"

"What's in Blackfoot?"

She dimpled at him. "The World Potato Expo."

"The _what_?"

"Idaho is famous for potatoes, right? So they have a whole expo on them. It's basically on our way, anyway, so we should go. Just for fun."

Ben gulped down a chunk of apple. "You want to go see a potato thing?"

"The World Potato _Expo_," she repeated haughtily. "Potatoes are a big business in Idaho. It's all in the travel book."

He started to laugh. "Between that and the roller skate museum, I don't know what's weirder. Next, it'll be roller skates made of potatoes."

Felicity giggled.

- - - - -

"What's more pathetic? The fact that people actually pay to see these things, or that _we're_ doing it, too?" Ben chuckled. They rolled into the parking lot and parked beside a giant Styrofoam replica of a potato.

"See what you would have missed if I didn't come with you on this trip?" laughed Felicity. She turned the engine off with a grin.

Ben didn't reply. Curious, she glanced up to see him watching her, but he looked away immediately and opened the passenger door. She shook it off and got out of the car.

"Give me your camera," Ben said as they walked toward the building.

Felicity dug it out of her purse and handed it over. With a laugh, he held it up and took a picture of the giant Styrofoam potato. "No one's going to believe this place exists unless we get pictures."

"Hey, they do free baked potatoes for visitors. It can't be all bad, can it?" she shrugged.

"All this and free food, too? Let's go," he laughed again.

The expo proved to be the most exhaustive tribute to potatoes either of them had ever seen. It did include some serious material regarding Idaho's farming history, but that was quickly eclipsed by the more tongue-in-cheek things on display. They chuckled their way through exhibits of Mr. Potato Head, a giant potato chip, and clothing made from burlap potato sacks. By the time they got around to their free baked potato, both of them were laughing so hard they could barely finish eating.

"_I_ am picking the next stop," Ben declared, shaking his head.

Felicity sniffed in mock derision. "You learned something, didn't you?"

"I learned that your taste in roadside attractions is a little scary."

She swatted at him, but he dodged it with another laugh.

- - - - -

They finished up their trip through Idaho with a stop at the Shoshone Ice Caves, a volcanically-created natural underground cavern that remained partially frozen even in summer. The chilly air was a refreshing change from the early-summer heat outside. "See, didn't I tell you this place was going to be better than potatoes?"

Felicity smiled. "Well, I guess natural air conditioning is a big plus. I wasn't so sure when I saw the cheesy dinosaur statue outside."

"Looks can be deceiving," Ben smiled, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his coat, which had been provided at the start of the tour.

_True,_ she thought.

- - - - -

It took them two days to get to Reno, and even though they were almost to California, they stayed there an extra day. It was as if, by unspoken agreement, they weren't ready to call an end to their trip. Ben wasn't.

They took even more time in San Francisco, staying two nights in the city before returning the car to Mickey. Sunday morning dawned bright and clear. Freshly washed, vacuumed and polished, The Baby sparkled in the sun as it pulled to a halt in the driveway of a beautiful Spanish-style suburban home. Ben looked over to Felicity in the passenger seat. She looked like he felt: disappointed that they'd reached their destination, after all. "I guess this is it."

"Yeah," she murmured.

Ben sighed. _No sense putting it off any longer._ He honked the horn.

Mickey emerged from the house in a pair of sweatpants and a 49ers T-shirt. "Hey, you made it!" he beamed. Two little girls trailed curiously behind him, one dragging a doll by its arm. They remained on the porch stoop while Mickey came down to the driveway.

Felicity and Ben got out of the car. Ben pulled some of their bags from the trunk while Mickey walked around the car, inspecting it. "She looks good. Not a scratch."

"Yeah, we took good care of it. It's going to be hard to let it go," said Ben, plastering a smile on his face.

"She's some ride, isn't she?" Mickey laughed. "Theresa! Josie! Get back inside and finish your breakfast, you two!" The girls hurried back into the house, and Mickey turned back to Ben. "Your friends called about five minutes ago to say that they were in town and should be here in a little bit to pick you up."

"Thanks, Mickey. Thanks for letting us use your car, too," Ben nodded, shaking his hand.

Felicity came around the car to get her bags. "We really appreciate it," she chimed in.

Mickey laughed and shook her hand, too. "Sure thing. Any time you two need a road trip somewhere, you just call me. My baby looks better than even I treat her. Did you want to come in for a drink? Are you hungry?"

Ben carried their bags to the side of the driveway. "No, we ate already, but thanks. Do you mind if we just sit out here and wait?"

"Sure, sure. You kids let me know if you need something, okay?" Mickey accepted the keys from Ben and went back into the house.

Ben sat on the front steps.

Felicity sat beside him. "Why didn't you want to go inside?"

He looked up at her, studying her face. _I hate this. I hate that we're home._ Her necklace flashed in the sun. He remembered how stiffly she sat when he put it around her neck, how surprised she looked that he'd gotten it for her. He remembered going down to the jewelry shop a few blocks from campus to get it, feeling bad that her grandmother's necklace had been stolen and he couldn't have stopped the guys who took it. It wasn't anything special, just kind of an arrowhead thing that reminded him of her. Sleek. Sharp. Pretty. Someone with direction. And, more often than he wanted to admit, she'd pointed _him_ in the right direction, even when he didn't realize it at the time. Like a compass arrow. He was sure it meant more to him that she wore the necklace than it did to her. He'd never tell her that, though. It was more than he had in him to say.

When he didn't answer, Felicity gave him a puzzled smile. "Ben?"

Instead of speaking, he grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. She gave a startled squeak at first, then relaxed. He liked the way she went all soft and melted against him. He wished his buddies would get a flat tire on the way over. Engine trouble. Something that would take them a few hours to sort out. Anything to delay the return to reality.

Felicity drew back with a smile. "What was that for?"

"Just everything," he grinned. "This was a great trip."

She sighed. "Yeah."

Ben made to reach for her hand, but the honk of a horn made him look up.

An old white four-door turned into the driveway. Jason leaned out the driver's side window. "Look, guys, it's the prodigal son!"

Ben cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, standing up. Beside him, Felicity stood as well. The boys got out of the car and came toward them. Jason clapped him on the back. "How you doing, man?" Ben smiled.

"Can't complain." Jason took a step back and eyed him with a frown. "You're looking good, Covington. What have you been doing, actually working out, or what? They feeding you at that school?"

Ben laughed. "If you can call it food." He gestured to his friends. "Felicity, this is Jason Beckwith, Eric Melendez, and Kurt Angiolillo. Guys, Felicity Porter."

"I remember you," Jason said. "You're that smart girl who drew stuff."

"Enough, Beckwith," Ben muttered.

Jason pushed Ben aside to address Felicity. "No, no. You used to be in some after-school club. Your stuff was always on the wall outside the art department. Covington used to—"

"Jason. Shut it, already."

"_You_ shut it," Jason scowled, edging around his friend. "He used to walk past it on the way to the gym and stop to look at it. Nice to meet you, Van Gogh." Jason held out his hand with a grin.

Felicity, who'd stood silent for the entire exchange, blushed and shook Jason's hand. She looked sidelong at Ben. "I thought you only saw one of my drawings."

Ben rubbed at the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I saw a few of them."

Kurt and Eric said hello to her, mercifully not adding to the commentary on Ben's high school life. They said goodbye to Mickey and piled their bags into the trunk of Jason's car. Eric moved to the backseat to give Felicity and Ben the front passenger and middle seats.

Felicity edged into the seat between Jason and Ben. Ben got in and shut the passenger door. Already, he could feel a frosty vibe in the car, in spite of Jason's friendly greeting. He glanced around and grinned at Eric and Kurt. Eric returned it, but Kurt raised an eyebrow and jerked his chin at Felicity, who, thankfully, hadn't seen. Ben shrugged and turned back to the front, staring out the window. _I'm pretty sure the next half hour is going to suck._


	29. Road's End

29 – Road's End

_They hate me. I can tell they hate me,_ Felicity thought, hunching into the bench seat. She didn't dare move closer to Ben. It didn't seem as right now as it had only a few days ago…especially in front of Ben's friends. She sat right beside him, but he might as well have been miles away for how lonely she felt.

Jason kept up a stream of chit-chat, bantering with the boys and occasionally tossing a question at her, but Felicity could tell that none of them were sure what to say to her. _Of course they're not. They never even knew me. They wouldn't have bothered to know me when they had the chance, and now they're stuck in a car with me. They're putting up with me because of Ben._ She wondered how much less stilted their banter would have been if she weren't in the car.

From the corner of her eye, she glanced up at Ben. He seemed just as uncomfortable as she did. She noticed the stiff line of his shoulders and the way he stared out the window, and for the first time during the ride she felt some kinship with him. He noticed her looking and flashed a brief smile. She smiled back, but he glanced away before he saw it.

Felicity was almost glad to see her house, a sprawling multi-story home in one of Palo Alto's upper-class suburban neighborhoods. "Nice pad," Jason said as they pulled into the driveway.

"Thanks. Thanks for the ride home, too," she said as cheerfully as she could. She realized this was the first time Ben had seen her house, too. Part of her wanted to take him through it and show him the things she'd grown up with, the tree in the backyard with her name carved in it, the doorjamb in the kitchen where her mother had measured her height each year, from toddlerhood until the day she left for college.

But not with _them_ around…judging her.

Ben got out to help her get her bags from the trunk, and carried them to the door for her. "Do you want me to bring these in?"

"No, I've got them," she said, taking them from him. Their hands brushed, and Felicity felt an electrical jolt pass between them. Heat suffused her cheeks. She was acutely aware of the boys watching them. Fidgety, she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "So, uh…I'll see you later?"

He nodded and went down the steps. At the bottom, he turned around. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Oh. Just, uh…unpacking, I guess."

He grinned at last, and Felicity felt her heartbeat flutter with memories of their trip. "I'll give you a call."

Felicity couldn't help beaming in spite of his friends waiting in the car. "Okay." She said goodbye and went into the house still wearing the smile. "Mom, Dad, I'm home!"

Her mother came into the foyer. "Hi. Welcome home, sweetie." Barbara kissed her cheek. "Want help with your bags?"

"No, thanks. I'm just going to take them upstairs."

Edward Porter ducked into the foyer from the adjacent living room. "Hi, honey. How was your trip?"

Felicity hugged her father. "Dad, we saw the surgical amphitheater at the Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia. The very first one in the country!"

"Really? That's great."

"And a whole bunch of stuff in Washington, and the St. Louis Arch, and _Yellowstone_… Dad, Yellowstone was _incredible_. We stayed at this gorgeous cabin on the lake—"

"Why don't we go upstairs and get you unpacked, honey, and you can tell us about it later," Barbara interjected, herding her daughter upstairs. "I'm sure you're tired."

When they reached the upstairs landing, Felicity eyed her mother. "What was that all about?"

Barbara raised an eyebrow meaningfully. "I don't think your father's ready to hear about whatever happened at the cabin on the lake." She frowned in motherly concern. "Nothing _did_ happen, did it?"

_"Mom!"_

"All right, all right. You're an adult, and it's your business." Barbara took one of Felicity's bags and pushed open the bedroom door. She set the bag down beside Felicity's bed and gave her daughter a last hug. "I'll be downstairs if you need me. I'm so glad you're home." With that, she exited the room.

Felicity's bedroom was just as she'd left it before her first year of college…and nearly the same as it had been throughout her childhood. The bed was quilted in shades of rose and sage green and covered with plushy, lace-trimmed pillows. The cream-toned wallpaper was covered with old photos, high school merit awards, and childish pictures that she'd never taken down. A hooked throw rug in the shape of a rose lay before a white vanity table at her bedside. She'd forgotten how much different this room looked from her dorm at college. _My room looks like a little girl's room. No wonder my parents forget that I've grown up._

Coming to a decision, she strode toward a Victorian-style painting of two little girls and took it down, brushing dust off its frame in speculation. _I could re-use this frame for some of my own artwork._

She took the other things off her walls, one by one, and put them away in her closet. Next, she removed the old quilt and pillows from her bed and replaced them with her bedding from college. She rolled up the hooked rug and swapped it with one she'd had at the dorm. Finally, looking around, she decided the room was beginning to reflect who she now was.

Her walls were disappointingly bare.

Worrying her lower lip between her teeth, she had an idea. Opening her first suitcase, she rummaged in its inner pocket and came up with the creased, highlighted road map from their trip. Finding some tape in her vanity drawer, she stood on her bed and fixed the unfolded map to the wall over her headboard. Stepping down, she smiled at the changes she'd made.

It took her until mid-afternoon to finish bringing her room up to date. When everything else had been cleaned, put away, and rearranged, she set a framed photo on the vanity: a black-and-white, torn-and-taped picture of Noel, Julie, Elena, Ben, and herself. She'd been standing beside Noel before the picture was torn up. When Meghan re-taped it, she put Felicity beside Ben. Not for the first time, Felicity wondered if Meghan had intended to put it back together that way. _What would happen if I rearranged the pieces again?_ Felicity snickered at the superstitious notion and shook her head.

She heard her door open and turned around. Her mother stood in the doorway. "Wow…it looks nice in here, honey."

"Thanks. I guess my room sort of needed an update."

Barbara held out the cordless phone in her hand. "Shelly's on the line for you."

Grinning, Felicity took the phone. Her mother left the room. "Hello?"

"You got home how many hours ago and didn't bother to call me?" Shelly growled over the phone line.

"Hi, Shelly," Felicity laughed, flopping on her bed.

"We're going out as soon as I get there!"

Felicity stared at the map on her wall. "I'm sort of waiting for a call later."

"So what? I have a cell phone. I'm not taking no for an answer. You, Amy, Laura and I are going for pizza."

Felicity groaned. "Laura?"

"Yes. She's on breakup rebound, so she's really nice, for Laura—honest. I'm coming right over."

"Okay." Felicity hung up the phone and smiled. _Maybe seeing old friends is just what I need._

While she waited for Shelly, Felicity dug out her tape recorder. She sat cross-legged on her bed facing the headboard, studying the marked yellow line across the map from New York City to Palo Alto. She turned the recorder on.

_"Dear Sally—I __just had the best summer of my life, and it's only been two weeks into it. I never thought a road trip could be this much fun, but Ben and I drove cross-country and saw all these amazing things. We went to Philadelphia and saw the Liberty Bell, and in Washington we saw the White House. Then we went to St. Louis, and it was really funny because we found a spider in the bed and totally freaked out about it. We got stuck in Wyoming on our way to Yellowstone, which was so scary because it was the middle of the night. We had to walk to a service station. Ben was so wonderful the whole time. We learned a lot about each other. I had such a good time, I didn't want it to end. I took lots of pictures, so I'll send you copies next time. Talk back soon. Love, Felicity."_


	30. He Said, She Said

30 – He Said, She Said

"So what's with Porter?" Kurt asked, biting into a cheeseburger.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the way she stared at you in the car. The way she almost jumped in your lap. The fact that you were even _with_ her. What's going on?"

Testily, Ben picked at his basket of onion rings. "She goes to UNY with me. We drove home together. Why do you care?"

"Come on, man. She was a spaz in high school. What, she good in bed or something?"

Ben glared at him. "She's my girlfriend, and you can back off."

"Really?" Kurt laughed aloud. "Way to go, Ben. Plotting the undiscovered country."

Ben rose out of his seat, gritting his teeth. He snatched the soda pitcher off the table. "I'm going up for a refill. Anyone want anything?" Eric and Jason shook their heads. Kurt just grinned at him. Fuming, Ben stalked away to the counter. He could have waited and flagged down a waitress, but if he'd sat there much longer he was sure he would have punched Kurt. Not a good way to start the summer.

What he did or didn't do with Felicity was his own business. He knew she'd been with a guy once, unsolicited information from her roommate Meghan when he stopped by the dorm and Felicity wasn't there. Some art student. Meghan said it just happened, that it didn't mean anything. He hadn't asked, but Meghan seemed happy to air the details of Felicity's love life, and Ben wasn't too proud to admit to himself that he was curious. He was kind of glad she hadn't stayed with the art student, and even more relieved that it hadn't been Noel. Just imagining the possibility that it could have been Noel did things to his insides that made him want to hit something. Noel was smart. He knew what he wanted to do with his life. He worked hard and got good grades.

And in spite of it all, Felicity had picked _him_ over Noel. For whatever reason—_he­_ sure didn't know—Felicity wanted to be with him. That didn't mean he intended to tell Kurt anything about what they did together, if there'd been anything to tell.

_Well, there were a few things,_ he thought with a smile, remembering the nights at the cabin. Especially that first night. She looked and smelled so good, he almost chucked it all out the window and went with the feelings surging through him. _I need to get used to this,_ he'd told her. And that was the understatement of the century.

Not just getting used to caring about someone. Getting used to _them_ caring _back._No strings, no exceptions, just a promise that someone would _be there,_ and mean it. Felicity had done some crazy things, messed with his life in ways that drove him mad. But she'd never even once let him down.

Kurt would never understand that.

With the pitcher refilled, Ben went back to the table.

"Give it here, man. I need to wash down this hockey puck," smirked Eric, waving at the charred burger on his plate.

Ben sat down and pushed the pitcher across the table with a look of distaste. "You're the one who still wants to come here, even though your ex-girlfriend's the cook. She only burns your orders to piss you off, you know."

"I just want to see if she's come off her high horse yet," Eric shrugged.

Ben shook his head. "Apparently not, by the looks of that hockey puck."

"Speaking of girlfriends," Kurt interjected, "I'm still having a hard time getting my head around you and Felicity Porter."

"You don't give up, do you?" sighed Ben.

Kurt made a show of nonchalance. "What, man? It's cool. I'm just, you know, having some trouble knowing if you slipped in the ranks or she got better."

"Look, will you just lay off Felicity? All you know about her is what you saw in high school. She's… She's just not who you thought she was."

Kurt leered. "Why don't you explain who she is, then?"

Disgusted, Ben got up from the table. "I'm going to use the phone."

"What, now? This was just getting interesting. What got your attention, Covington? Must be some kind of sex goddess hiding under all that hair."

Ben slammed his palms onto the table and loomed across it over Kurt, who sat back in surprise. "I don't want to have to knock you on your ass, Kurt, but you're pushing it." He jerked away and stalked across the restaurant toward the pay phone.

- - - - -

Shelly's cell phone chirped as they paused at a red light. She flipped it open and put it to her ear. "Hello?"

"I was looking for Felicity?"

Shelly recognized the voice as male, and immediately felt a surge of curiosity. "Felicity?"

Beside her in the passenger seat, Felicity held her hand out for the phone.

In the back seat, Amy leaned forward. "Who is it?"

Shelly waved them all off and twisted out of Felicity's reach. "Sorry, you said Felicity?"

"Yeah…Felicity Porter? Her mom gave me this number."

"Who is this?" Shelly demanded, still evading Felicity's attempts to get the phone. She shot her friend an evil look.

"Ben Covington."

"Holy crow!" Shelly dropped the phone on the floor. "Oh, damn! Just—_arrrggh_." The light turned green, and she yanked the steering wheel around to get to the nearest parking lot.

Beside her, Felicity gaped. "Did you just hang up on him?"

Shelly swatted Felicity's hands away from the driver's side floor and brought the car to a screeching halt in the lot of a grocery store. She bent forward and snatched the phone from the floor, gripping it to her chest and glaring at Felicity with the outrage of a friend who should be told everything to the last detail. "_Ben Covington,_ and you didn't tell me?!"

Amy and Laura squeaked in unison from the back seat.

"I was going to over dinner," Felicity offered with a helpless shrug. "We go to UNY together."

Shelly put the phone back to her ear. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah. Listen, is Felicity there? I'm on a pay phone."

"Where are you?"

"Rudebaker's."

"We'll be right there." Shelly snapped her phone shut.

"_Shelly!_ You just _hung up_ on Ben!" Felicity cried.

Giving her friend another glare, Shelly said, "Oh, no. I don't settle for a phone call. I've been waiting four years for you to get with this guy. This I gotta see in _person_."

Felicity blushed.

"When did you two start dating?" Amy demanded with an excited grin.

"I don't know if you can say _dating_, exactly," Felicity confessed. "We are sort of going out, but it's kind of weird because it's only been us two for two weeks on this road trip, so—"

"Two weeks? You've been going out for two _weeks_?" Amy squeaked.

Felicity sighed. Part of her wanted to keep quiet about the road trip. The most she'd said to anyone so far was the little bit in her tape to Sally. The past two weeks had been so special that it seemed a shame to spill the details. She looked around to see Amy beaming at her. Laura was silent, staring at Felicity in something approaching awe. For the first time since high school, Felicity felt vindicated against every snotty comment Laura had ever made to her. Then she felt bad. Laura had just broken up with her boyfriend. _Oh, how I wish I could rub this in._ "Just a week, really. The first week we were sort of getting to know each other."

Amy leaned forward even more. "So, you had to stay at motels and stuff, right? Did you two—"

"I don't think that part's any of our business," Shelly interrupted. She put the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. With an air of mock injury, she added, "Although, _some_ friends ought to be given some discreet details."

"I'm not telling you _anything_," giggled Felicity.

They arrived at Rudebaker's ten minutes later. Amy groaned as the girls entered the restaurant. "Kurt's here, too."

"He's Ben's friend. Be _nice_," Shelly ordered.

"He's never nice to _us_."

Felicity saw the boys sitting at a booth near the front window, and her heart skipped a beat when her gaze landed on Ben. The past few hours were the longest time she'd been without him since the beginning of their trip.

- - - - -

Ben poked at the ice cubes in his soda with the straw. The boys had been hounding him for several minutes to tell them how he'd wound up with Felicity Porter. He shrugged at last. "We had a really good time. She's fun."

"_Fun,_ fun?" Jason laughed.

"Don't you start, too."

Jason marshaled his features into a sober mask. "Sorry, couldn't help it. Go on."

"When I first saw her during registration week at UNY… I gotta be serious, I thought she was crazy. She _followed_ me to New York. She had this whole set plan on what she was going to do with her life, and she just threw it all out and came to New York. Because of _me_, whatever that means."

"Yeah, not much to go for," Eric jabbed.

"I still think you're nuts," Kurt said, crossing his arms in irritation. Clearly, he was still nettled by Ben's earlier threat. "I mean, she's this frizzy-haired freak, and her friends were just…_weird_. Why _her_? Especially when there's a whole meat market of women in Palo Alto this summer? You've got problems, man."

Ben heard someone clear their throat and looked up. A girl with medium-length brown hair pulled back into a ponytail crossed her arms and glared at all of them. Her glower fell on Kurt. "You are the worst excuse for a male in this entire state."

Behind the girl, Felicity stood staring at him with flushed cheeks. "N-Never mind." She spun around and headed toward the door.

"Where do you get off?" Kurt growled, rising out of his seat and towering over the indignant brunette.

"Sit down and shut up, Kurt," Ben snapped, getting up. He jogged across the restaurant, chasing Felicity through the door. "Felicity!"

She didn't turn around, striding purposefully toward a car at the edge of the crowded lot.

He grabbed for her elbow. "Will you _wait_, already?"

She rounded on him. "I should have known this was too good to be true."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your friends are just like they were in high school. Too good for the rest of us. They never let a second go by without letting us know it, and apparently nothing's changed." Her voice caught, and she fell into a silent glare of accusation.

"Don't be ridiculous. Come back inside and sit with—"

"I heard what Kurt said in there. I will _not_ sit with someone who thinks me and my friends are beneath him."

"If you came inside, he'd see you're not what he thinks," Ben said, waving a hand at the building in frustration. Her friends were coming toward them across the parking lot.

Felicity scowled. "_I'm_ not the one with something to prove. I'll see you later." When Shelly put an arm around her shoulders and urged her away, she went.

Ben watched the girls get into the car and drive away. Exhaling explosively, he turned on his heel and went back to the restaurant.


	31. From Ancient Grudge

31 – From Ancient Grudge

Ben dropped into his seat with a scathing look at Kurt. "Way to roll out the welcome wagon."

"Man, I'm just being honest about what I think."

"Honest and tactful aren't the same thing," Ben snapped.

Kurt made a face. "Whatever." He reached into his back pocket for his wallet, removed a few bills, and threw them on the table. "That should cover me. Eric, do you want to catch a ride home with me?"

Eric cast a doubtful look around the table. When Jason shrugged and Ben waved him off, Eric stood up. "Sure."

When they were gone, Jason pulled the pitcher closer and refilled his soda. "I don't think he realized she was standing there, dude."

"What does it matter if he realized it or not? It's obvious he's ready to hate her without even knowing her. I remember the crap he used to pull on girls like Felicity in high school. The crap he pulled on _her_."

Jason gave him a diplomatic look. "He never got very far, Ben."

"That's because I told him to knock it off. She never did anything to him, and she didn't deserve any of it." Ben shoved his almost-empty basket of onion rings away. "I knew he was going to be a dick about this."

Sighing, Jason hooked an onion ring from the basket. "Look, man, I'm not trying to tell you who to hang with, but Felicity always seemed like a pretty smart girl. More books than basketball, you know?" He twirled the onion ring in his fingers before dropping it in the basket again. "I was kind of wondering, myself, how you two hooked up. You've got, like, _zero_ in common."

Ben eyed his friend. "So?"

"So, what do you two talk about? It sure as hell isn't art. You can't draw stick figures."

"Why do I have to know anything about art to like her?"

"I'm just saying, is all. She doesn't play sports, right?" Jason shrugged.

"No. Who cares?"

Jason shook his head in wry amusement. "Dude, girls like her are head cases. They like to talk about junk like Shakespeare."

Feeling defensive, Ben snarked, "Since when are you the expert?"

Jason leveled him with a wry look. "Ben, come on. You going to impress her with your sparkling knowledge of philosophy, or something?" He chuckled, and shrugged again. "Whatever. Go out with whoever you want, I don't care. It's your life." He stood up and dug his wallet from a back pocket. "I've gotta break this fifty. Be right back."

Ben stared morosely at the basket of onion rings. He barely acknowledged the waitress when she returned to clear away the dishes. He remembered thinking some of the same things Jason had just said while he and Felicity were still on their road trip. Philosophy? Shakespeare? _She deserves to be with a smart guy, someone who knows about all that stuff._

His next thought made him grit his teeth. He hated it, hated that it wouldn't go away the minute he thought it. Hated it worse when it made sense.

_Someone like Noel._

- - - - -

Sitting at a picnic table beside a hotdog stand, Felicity squirted mustard on her hamburger.

"I'm sorry about Kurt…that he hurt your feelings like that," Shelly murmured.

"He didn't hurt my feelings. I'm angry, not hurt," Felicity grumbled. "He's just… Why are guys such jerks?"

"It's genetic," Amy sniffed, taking a sip of cola.

"No, they get a packet during kindergarten. Jerk Training 101. It's, like, the only class they all pass without studying," Laura said.

The girls stared at her. It was the first time Laura had said more than one word at a time the whole evening. First Shelly, then Felicity, then Amy burst into laughter.

Laura smiled back at them.

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Shelly.

Sighing, Felicity ate a French fry from the shared basket in the center of the table. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just think maybe I was wrong about things being different once you're out of high school. What a _jerk_."

Shelly gave her a concerned look. "We _are_ still talking about Kurt, right?"

"Yeah. Who else would I be talking about?"

"I just want to make sure you're sticking around with Ben, in case Amy still planned on snapping him up."

Amy looked taken aback, even a little intimidated by the idea. "Me? With Ben?"

Shelly giggled. "Oh, Amy. We're just kidding." Even Laura cracked a smile.

Amy blushed. "Well, he _has_ gotten really cute, Felicity."

"He was cute _before_," Shelly asserted. "Now he's drop-dead _gorgeous_. A shame his friends are such a bunch of cretins." She rounded on Felicity. "When were you planning to tell us Ben went to UNY and that's why you went there? All we ever heard in high school was Stanford, Stanford, Stanford."

"Now it's going to be Ben, Ben, Ben," smiled Amy.

"Oh, yeah, and I'm sure we can all blame her. I mean, _look_ at him."

"We did," grinned Amy and Laura together.

Shelly stood up and saluted Felicity with her soda. "To my friend, the fearless traveler." She fended off Felicity's attempts to make her sit down. "Who _obviously_ has a lot of explaining to do where this Ben thing is concerned."

The girls giggled again, and Felicity couldn't help but join them.

- - - - -

Felicity went to the movies with the girls after they ate dinner. She didn't get home until just before midnight. Shelly dropped her off, and she went quietly up to her room without waking her parents. After the noise of the dorm all year, the house felt almost too quiet.

Her bedside lamp was on. The cordless phone sat on her vanity table with a note from her mother: _Ben called._ Felicity sighed and sat on the bed. She hadn't told Shelly the exact truth about her reaction to Kurt's scorn. It did hurt. It hurt just as much as it ever had in high school, and even more so because Kurt was a friend of Ben's. Floating on the afterglow of the road trip, and on every memory of Ben's kisses, she'd been totally unprepared to overhear Kurt call her names. She'd dropped her guard. _That won't happen again._ She reached for the pajamas folded on her pillow.

Something tapped her window. She glanced up in surprise. A moment later, something tapped again, as though a pebble had knocked against the glass. Felicity went to the window and pushed the curtains aside, shoving up the window sash.

Ben stood in her backyard looking up at the window with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. She could barely make him out in the darkness. "What are you doing here?" she whispered.

"I didn't want to call again and wake your parents. Can you come down?"

She hesitated, and then resented the fact that Ben's friends had any power to make her doubt Ben's interest in her. "Just give me a second." She withdrew from the window and crept downstairs again.

She opened the sliding glass door and stepped onto the patio. "Hey."

Ben came toward her. "Hey." He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry about Kurt today. He was just being an idiot."

"Yeah, well. He might have left high school, but high school obviously hasn't left _him_," Felicity frowned. "And now _my_ friends hate _your_ friends. This isn't exactly the way I hoped our summer would start."

"I know." Ben kicked at a stone, and it rolled across the patio. "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize…and also, I came over because I thought you might want some company."

She smiled at that.

Seeming encouraged, he added, "It's kind of weird being home by ourselves at night, when it was always the two of us on the trip, isn't it?"

Felicity felt a flutter of warmth in her belly. "Yeah."

Ben stuck his hands in his pockets again. "So, your house is nice."

"Thanks." A thought occurred to her, and she eyed him. "How did you get here?"

"I borrowed my mom's car." He grinned briefly. "Well, not so much _borrowed_, as took it when she wasn't awake to ask."

Her flutters multiplied as she recognized the mischievous look on his face. She missed that look already.

For a few seconds, they didn't speak. Felicity looked up. The sky sparkled with a blanket of stars. When she looked back down, Ben was staring at her. "What?"

His eyes roved over her face. "Why _did_ you come with me on the road trip?"

"I told you. It was a chance to get to know you."

"Yeah, but you spent most of freshman year with Noel. You liked him, or at least you _seemed_ like you liked him. Did he do something wrong? Something that pissed you off?"

"No. Noel was fine. It wasn't anything he said or did. Ben, where's this coming from?" Confused, she searched his features.

He shrugged. "I was just wondering why you wouldn't want to go with him."

"I did want to. I just…wanted to go with you, too."

"What, just because you didn't really know me?"

"_Ben._ What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Never mind, it's nothing."

Something was obviously bothering him, but just as obviously, he wasn't planning to tell her. Casting about for a change of subject, she asked, "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I've got to start looking for a job. I had one lined up, but it isn't going to pay enough."

"Why not?"

"It just isn't going to cover…everything. Can we not talk about it?"

Finally frustrated into it, she snapped, "What _would_ you like to talk about, then? Because I'm running out of ideas, here. _You_ came to see _me_."

He backed away a few steps, toward the side yard. "Look, I'll just catch up with you tomorrow, or something. I've got to get the car home, anyway. I'll see you." Turning on his heel, he walked out of the backyard.

Hurt, Felicity just stood there a minute before stalking back into the house.


	32. Opposites

31 – Opposites

Ben walked into the house and closed the door as quietly as possible. He went up the staircase, stepping over the third step, which he knew from long experience creaked loud enough to wake the dead.

"Where have you been with my car, Benjamin?"

Halfway up the steps, he winced and turned around. His mother stood down by the door with her arms crossed, arching her eyebrows at him. "You think I don't hear you when you leave, young man. Come down here."

Ben sighed and trudged down the steps. "I was out seeing Felicity."

His mother smiled and shook her head. She reached up and laid a hand on his cheek. "You could have asked."

He smiled back. "Sorry."

"Well, you got me up, so now I'm up. Make me some tea, and I'll forgive you for the car." She ushered him into the kitchen.

In spite of his mood, he didn't argue. He rarely argued with his mother. Ben put the tea kettle on and got the canister of teabags from the cupboard over the stove. While the kettle heated, he took a bottle of water from the refrigerator for himself and sat down.

"How did your classes end?"

"Okay," he shrugged.

"Did you have a good time on your trip?"

He smiled. "Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Yellowstone was cool."

"I'll bet. How did Felicity like it?"

Ben studied the woodgrain of the kitchen tabletop. "She seemed to like it."

His mother crossed her arms on the table. "Okay. What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know that miserable look when I see it. Did you two have a fight?"

"No." He unscrewed the cap of his water bottle, then screwed it on again. "Sort of. Kurt said some stuff about her that wasn't very nice, and she overheard it."

"Well, what does he know? You've been at school with her all year."

"It's not about her. Felicity's great. Kurt's just being a—"

She gave him a warning look.

With a brief, amused glance, Ben shrugged again and fell back into moodiness. "He doesn't like her because she's not on his who's who list."

"Well, that's a ridiculous reason not to like someone."

"I know, Mom, but what am I supposed to do? I've been friends with Kurt since we were in grade school."

"Maybe you should reevaluate your friendships."

Ben flopped back in the chair. "It isn't even just that. I mean, some of the stuff the guys said is true. Felicity and I have nothing in common."

"Neither did your father and I, when we first met."

Ben looked up with his jaw clenched.

She sighed and gave a conciliatory nod. "All right, bad example. But people don't have to have a lot in common to like being together. Opposites attract."

"So if Felicity is smart and hard-working and ambitious, what does that make me?" he growled.

His mother canted her head. "Benjamin. Just because she's smart, doesn't mean _you_ aren't. You do all right in school."

"I squeak by. Other people there have twice the course load and make it look half as hard."

"You did really well this year, honey. With everything that's happened to you…" She reached across the table to lay a hand on his. "To _us_… You dealt with all that, and passed your classes, too. And you're going back next year. I'm very proud of you. I'm sure Felicity is, too."

The tea kettle whistled, and she got up to take it off the burner. Ben hunched into his chair and stared at his untouched bottle of water.

- - - - -

The next morning, Felicity and Shelly got together and drove to the mall so that Felicity could look for a job. After that, the girls did some shopping. "Well, at least he came over and apologized," Shelly said, flipping through a rack of bathing suits.

"Yeah, that part was fine. It was the part about having an actual conversation with him that was the trouble. He started talking about Noel, and he made _no_ sense—"

"Who's Noel?"

"Wow, I really _haven't_ talked to you all year," Felicity mused. "Noel's one of my friends at UNY. He and I went out this year. He was my floor R.A."

"I thought you weren't supposed to date your R.A."

"You're not."

"Wow. Look at you, you rebel. First your R.A., and now Ben. I think I'm transferring to your school in the fall. Maybe some of your luck will rub off on me," snickered Shelly. She held up a red one-piece bathing suit. "What do you think of this?"

"I love it. Is there one in purple?"

Shelly poked through the rack and handed Felicity one of the purple bathing suits.

"Thanks. It's been so much fun at UNY," smiled Felicity. "New York is everything they say it is. Just _amazing_! But I lived with this total freak show named Meghan, who, I _swear_, didn't own a single piece of clothing with any color in it. Her entire wardrobe was black. And mostly leather."

"Ewww."

"Yeah. Definite mutual dislike. But the weirdest part about it is, I almost think _she_ is the reason Ben and I got together."

"What?"

Felicity tossed a hand in the air. "Well, first, you have to understand Meghan. I mean, as much as _anyone_ could understand Meghan. She's this crazy Goth person who thinks she can do witchcraft."

"Are you kidding?"

"No. But here's the weird part. She almost got _me_ thinking she could, too."

Shelly raised an eyebrow.

"No, really. She did these spells. Or what were supposed to be these spells. She said they were supposed to make me clumsy and forget things."

"She really _didn't_ like you."

"—But then, she did this love spell, and _that's_ when Ben started noticing me."

Shelly shook her head in amusement. "You're telling me a spell got you two together?"

"I'm just saying it's an interesting coincidence."

Folding the bathing suit over her arm, Shelly pursed her lips in thought. She hooked an arm around Felicity's shoulders. "Tell you what. Let's call her and tell her to make a spell that gives Kurt Angiolillo the worst case of hives ever."

- - - - -

"Chicken! Get in there, you loser! Come on, show some hustle!"

Shirtless and sweating, Ben dodged around Jason and dribbled the basketball toward the net. Jason scrambled to catch up with him, but Ben sprang into a layup and dropped the ball in before he even got close. "Show some hustle, huh?" he grinned to Eric, who was halfway down the court. "Where were you when I was getting blocked?" He grabbed the basketball as it bounced off the pavement.

"All right, girls. Half time," Kurt laughed. The boys moved as one like moths to flame toward the cooler on the end of the bench at courtside. Kurt opened the lid and fished around for a fresh water bottle. He laid it against his forehead. "Tell me again why we picked today to play ball?"

Jason rubbed the back of his neck with a towel. "Because you can't stand that Ben still holds the three-pointer record."

"Yeah, yeah," Kurt rumbled. "So, Covington. See your girlfriend today?"

Ben took a long drink of water. "When are you going to lay off?"

"When you tell me why, when in all of high school you didn't talk to her, you're suddenly palling around with Felicity Never-Got-A-Date Porter?" sneered Kurt. "Two weeks on the road, all that scenery. How long did it take to get in her pants?"

Curling his lip, Ben hurled the basketball at Kurt's midsection. "None of your business."

Kurt caught the ball just as it punched him in the gut. He wheezed, and then started laughing. "Jeez, man, relax. I'm just dying to know how she did it. Or you did it. Or both of you did it."

"All right, I've had enough of this," Ben growled, grabbing his shirt from where it hung, stuffed through one of the holes in the chain link fence.

"Kurt, just cool it," Jason said, coming forward to lay a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Come on, let's keep playing ball."

"No, man, I gotta get home, anyway. My mom needs the car." Ben chucked him in the shoulder and turned to leave the basketball court.

"Don't forget to call your sweetie, lover boy," Kurt called after him.


	33. The Way It Is

33 – The Way It Is

Passing through the kitchen, Felicity grabbed the phone on its second ring. "Hello?"

"Hey," came Ben's voice. "Are you busy tonight?"

Still feeling prickly about their last conversation in her backyard the night before, Felicity toyed with the phone cord. "I was going to go out with Shelly and the girls. Why?"

"I was thinking you and I could have dinner at Laurenzo's."

She felt her eyebrows shoot up. "You can't get in there without a reservation in advance."

"My mom knows the owner. I had her pull a couple of strings."

Felicity heard the smile in his voice, and a delighted little shiver ran up her spine as she imagined the smile that must be on his face. "Uh… Okay. Let me call Shelly and tell her I'll make it another time. When do you want to do this?"

"Meet me there about six-thirty?"

"Okay." Felicity said goodbye and hung up the phone beaming. She made a quick call to Shelly, who not only understood her backing out of the girls' night, but told her that she had better provide details as soon as she got home.

Felicity went into the living room, where her father was watching a news report. "Dad, can I borrow the car tonight?"

"Sure, honey. What for?"

She beamed. "I have a date."

Edward Porter made an admirable show of fatherly nonchalance. "Oh. That's great, honey. The keys are by the door."

Felicity gave him a kiss on the cheek and hurried upstairs. The first thing she did upon entering her room was to go through her closet and wade through an assortment of clothes. Outfit after outfit was pulled from her closet and tossed on the bed for consideration. Then she narrowed them down as best she could.

_I didn't realize how few nice outfits I have._ Biting her lip, she studied each of the three outfits laid on the bed. Of the lot, the only one she liked enough was the dress she had bought for her first college party. _The awful party where everyone heard my tape to Sally.__ Ben was so nice about that, pretending like he hadn't heard it._ She picked up the dress. "Maybe _without_ the sneakers this time."

Instead of sneakers, she chose a pair of black sandals she had bought on her recent shopping trip with Shelly. Coupled with her necklace from Ben and a dash of her mother's perfume, she felt she was making a good start. When her hair wouldn't cooperate, she decided to leave it down. _I hope he likes it._

- - - - -

"More water, miss?"

"Uh, no. No thank you."

The waiter started away.

"On second thought," Felicity added, catching his attention, "maybe just one more glass."

"Certainly," the waiter smiled, filling her glass again.

When he left, Felicity turned her gaze back to the empty chair across the table. Soft classical music played over loudspeakers she couldn't see, punctuating the fact that there was no one at her table to talk to. She checked her watch. Six-fifty. _Maybe he's running late._ She spread her hands across the linen tablecloth, flattening out invisible wrinkles. _He didn't say exactly six-thirty. He said "about."_

She'd called his house from the pay phone, but the answering machine picked up. She'd left a short message saying she was at the restaurant. So far, he hadn't called back.

The waiter came by a third time at seven o'clock. "Miss, can I get you anything else?"

Felicity cast a look across the table at the empty place setting. "You know what? I think I'll have the chicken Caesar salad, after all."

"Excellent, miss." The waiter headed away.

When her salad came, Ben still hadn't arrived. _I wonder if something happened._ She sighed and started to eat.

"Felicity Porter?"

She looked up. Standing over the table was a young man with wavy brown hair and a familiar face. She thought fast, and was reminded of a shy boy in her high school Math class. Felicity beamed. "Ryan Stetson! How are you?"

Ryan grinned and sat down in the chair across the table. "Good, really good. I'm going to UCLA, but I'm home for the summer. It's been so long since I saw you! Are you here with someone?"

"Well, I was _supposed_ to be, but something must have come up, because he isn't here yet. Are you here with anyone?"

"I was, but we finished dinner and she went home."

Felicity raised an eyebrow in amusement. "She?"

Ryan laughed. "My mom. It's her birthday."

"Oh. Happy Birthday to your mom, then."

- - - - -

Ben pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant with his nerves on edge. _She's probably gone by now._ He wasn't sure if he felt guilty or relieved.

When he made the plans with her earlier, he was still riding on the resentment of Kurt's attitude. Felicity didn't deserve any of that crap. She deserved a nice dinner and nice things and decent conversation…or, at least, better conversation than he'd given her the night before. _When I walked out like a total idiot._

He looked at the single rose lying on the passenger seat. Bundled with some green stuff and little white flowers in cellophane, it sat there like a silent demand to go through with his plan. He'd never given a girl a rose in his life, but he figured if he was going to have a date with Felicity, he ought to do it right. _Do _something _right, for once, anyway._ He picked up the rose and got out of the car.

The closer he went toward the building, the more uneasy he felt. Not about her, and certainly not about any of Kurt's commentary on her, but about himself. This wasn't his kind of restaurant, and that was the basic problem. _We're total opposites._ With a sigh, he walked into the building.

He gave his name to the woman at the podium in the lobby, and she directed him toward the table he'd reserved. Ben was surprised to find that Felicity hadn't left already. He walked into the back of the restaurant, past a pedestal with a flower arrangement on it. When he rounded the flower arrangement, he saw Felicity already sitting with someone at the table. Ben came to an abrupt halt.

She was laughing. She looked beautiful. _Who the hell is that guy with her?_ He glanced at his watch and saw that it was past seven-thirty, well over an hour after he'd told her to meet him here. Part of him wanted to go over there and ask what that guy was doing in his seat. The other part saw how much fun she seemed to be having, and he hesitated. _Well, you're the jerk who stood her up,_ he thought to himself. _Did you think she was going to sit there by herself and keep waiting for you not to show up?_

He hadn't started out intending to arrive late. First, it had been annoyance with Kurt for the comments about dating Felicity. Then, he kept thinking about what Jason had said. They _were_ different. For the most part, he liked that about Felicity.

But he couldn't help thinking that maybe that guy sitting with her right now, who hadn't stiffed her for a date, was meant to be sitting there instead of him. _Things happen for a reason,_ Felicity had told him once.

_And now my friends hate your friends,_ she'd said also.

Maybe there was a reason for that, too.

With a sigh, Ben stuffed his rose into the flower arrangement and turned to leave.


	34. Fallout

34 – Fallout

Ben got out of his mother's car and slammed the door, stalking toward his house. Before he reached the front door, another car pulled into the driveway. He turned to see Jason grinning at him from the driver's side window as he came to a stop alongside Ben. "Get your butt in the car, dude. We called a game of tackle football at the high school. It's turning into this big three-ring circus that everyone's going to be at."

"No, thanks, man, I'm kind of tired."

"Don't be a spoilsport. Jeff Cavendish is going to be there, and we can watch him kick Kurt's butt. It'll be therapeutic for you."

Ben smiled in spite of himself. Jeff had an ongoing grudge against Kurt throughout high school, where they'd been rivals for football team captain. Usually, Ben was in the Kurt camp. After all, Kurt had been the better choice for captain, and proven it in a number of games. Tonight, though, he thought he might enjoy seeing Kurt get a long-overdue butt-kicking. Which had nothing to due with the fact that Ben was a little pissed at Kurt, of course. "All right. Let me get out of this getup."

Jason seemed to notice for the first time that Ben was dressed in a nice shirt and tie. "Yeah, what's up with the fancy threads?"

Ben didn't want to think about it. Especially not about the way Felicity had been laughing with that guy at the restaurant. A little football might take his mind off that problematic image, he decided. "Nothing. Give me ten minutes, and I'll be out."

"Make it quick. Kickoff's at eight-thirty!"

- - - - -

Under the glare of the football field lights, with the noise of nine other guys hollering and whistling, it was easier for Ben not to think about Felicity. _And that guy. And the way she smiled at him, and the way he was leaning across the table toward her._

"Ben, watch it!" Eric shouted.

Ben looked up just in time to see one of the guys hurtling toward him after another, who had possession of the ball. The pursuer plowed into Ben with a bone-crunching blow in the ribs. Ben grunted in pain and spun backward, dropping like a stone. The field lights blinded him for a second and, dazed, he could only lay on the field wheezing for breath. _Holy…crap…that hurt._

Eric's face appeared over him, silhouetted in the glare of the lights. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Ben managed, reaching up to grab Eric's offered hand and lurching back onto his feet.

Standing a few yards away, Kurt leered. "Some defense, Covington."

With his ribs still aching, and his temper still up over Felicity's mystery date, Ben muttered an uncharitable comment under his breath.

"Hey, don't bitch unless you want him to let you get sacked next play," Jason rumbled, moving off down the field. With a philosophical shake of his head, Eric followed.

Ignoring Jason's warning, Kurt grinned at Ben. "Having some lusty thoughts about the love bunny, are we?"

In that instant, a violent white-hot flash passed through Ben that only partly had to do with Kurt's sarcastic remark. He snapped, rocketing into Kurt, who grunted in surprise. Ben's momentum sent them a full ten feet back before they landed on the field. Ben let his weight fall on Kurt, driving his knee into the man's midsection before springing back onto his feet and hovering over Kurt. "Will you just _shut up_ about Felicity?!"

Coughing, Kurt clutched at his belly. "God, man, all _right_. What's your problem? I'm just kidding around." He curled his legs underneath him to get back to his feet.

"No, you're not, and that's the trouble with you." Irritated, Ben spun on his heel and started away to resume the game. A second later, he heard a couple of the guys shout a warning, and he turned back around just as Kurt came flying at him. Ben dodged and caught a glancing blow on his shoulder that sent him staggering backward.

Jason grabbed onto Kurt and hauled him off Ben, who felt a hand descend onto his own shoulder. Fuming, he glanced aside to see Jeff Cavendish. "Guys, quit it, already. I thought we were playing ball, here," Jeff boomed.

Kurt lunged at Jeff, but Jason held him back. "What's the matter, Cavendish? Afraid of a little fight?"

"Some of us grew up, moron. Go home and take a cold shower."

Most of the guys walked off to continue playing football. Still angry, Ben shook his head and headed off the field.

"Getting good at walking away, aren't you, Ben?" Kurt called.

That irked him, probably worse than Kurt realized. He'd walked away from Felicity, twice now. At her house. At the restaurant.

_Felicity.__ Damn it, Felicity and that guy! Can I just stop thinking about it, for God's sake?_ Furious, Ben walked faster.

He was so mad by then that he didn't even notice when he walked right past Felicity's friend Shelly, who was just getting out of her car with Amy and Laura in tow.

- - - - -

Ben woke to sunshine and an insistent knock on his bedroom door. He squinted at his clock. Ten-thirty. "Honey, Felicity's here," came his mother's voice.

His ill temper of the night before settled in like a stormcloud. He hadn't slept well, mostly because his dreams were troubled by images of Felicity kissing some other guy. In the dream, Ben couldn't move toward her or away, and was left staring in futile anger while she and the other guy put their arms around each other and walked off in blissful ignorance of his plight. The worst part was feeling that he'd brought it on himself.

"Honey?"

"I'm up, Mom. I'll be down in a minute."

Ten minutes later, after he'd managed to scrape up a clean pair of jeans and T-shirt, he descended the stairs.

Felicity stood at the bottom. "Hey."

"Hey," he replied. It sounded like he was addressing a stranger. He hated the way he sounded. Ben glanced through a doorway into the kitchen, where his mother was reading the paper over coffee. He opened the front door and held it for Felicity. She walked through, and following her out onto the front porch, he closed the door behind them.

She looked at him, searching his face, before sitting beside him on a bench. "What happened last night? I tried calling you."

Ben sighed. "Some stuff came up. I'm sorry I didn't call you back."

"Football stuff?"

"What?"

"Shelly said she saw you at the high school playing football with a bunch of guys."

Ben gritted his teeth. "You didn't seem to need the extra company at the restaurant."

"Wait a minute, you were _there_ and you didn't come over? Why not?"

"You and that guy seemed to be laughing it up all by yourselves."

"What, Ryan? He just happened to be there! He's an old friend!" she protested.

"Yeah, he looked it."

Felicity shot to her feet and threw her hands in the air in a helpless gesture. "Ben, what is wrong with you? Ever since we got home you've been acting like—"

"Like what?" he demanded, getting to his feet.

"Like you couldn't care less about me!"

Ben heard her voice tremble, and almost gave in. He even took a step toward her, but caught himself. He scraped a hand through his hair and spun away from her. "If I didn't care, I wouldn't have—"

"Wouldn't have what?"

_Wouldn't have spent all that money I don't have trying to do something nice for you at Yellowstone, because you deserve it,_ he thought, frustrated. He had drained his entire savings account dry, and maxed out his credit card, just to show her how much he liked her, liked being with someone who looked at him the way she did. _She deserves nice things. And someone who can give them to her._

"Ben?"

He couldn't say it, couldn't say what he knew she wanted to hear from him. It was too much, too fast. He couldn't even look at her because he knew she'd see it in his eyes. _Coward._ With his back still turned, he let his shoulders slump. "What are we doing, Felicity?"

This time he heard tears in her voice when she spoke. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and me. This is—This is crazy. I think—I think the guys are right."

She choked, and he winced. "The same guys who picked on me and my friends in high school? The same guys who think they're too good for the rest of the free world? _Those_ guys?"

He turned around at last, hoping he'd masked his features enough. "Felicity, you and I are like night and day. I can't be the guy you thought I was. I can't live up to that."

He saw her shoulders straighten, and she lifted her chin in resignation even as a tear slid down her cheek. "I guess not."

She backed away and descended the porch steps, and Ben wanted more than anything to go after her as the distance expanded between them…but his feet rooted to the spot, just like in his dream. And just like in his dream, she walked away.


	35. Pieces

35 – Pieces

_"So, Sally. Ben and I… We broke up. I mean, if we were even actually dating in the first place. Can you be dating if you're stuck in a car together, anyway? Maybe that's all it was. Just…convenient…at the time."_ Felicity took a deep breath. _"I don't know. Maybe I was wrong about Ben. Maybe we weren't meant to be together, like I always thought. The worst thing, Sal, is that he thinks his friends are right about us. I haven't even developed our pictures from the trip, because I just can't bring myself to look at them. I even took his necklace off and put it away. It just seems so final._

_Anyway, I've decided I'm not going to let this ruin my summer. I've got a job at this frame shop at the mall, and I think it's going to be good. I'm going to get a discount, so I can frame some of my own artwork, which is…pretty terrific. Mrs. Hawkenberry at the library says they're having a local art display in a week, and I'm going to submit something of my own."_

Someone knocked at Felicity's door, and a second later, it opened to reveal Shelly. _"Sal, I've got to go. My friend Shelly is here, and we're going out for a while."_ She clicked off the tape.

"Who's Sal?"

"Sally, my French tutor from high school. She moved away, and this is how we keep in touch."

Sally sat on the bed. "So, how are you doing since yesterday?"

Felicity braved a smile. "You don't have to keep asking, Shelly. I'll be okay."

"You're still the worst liar I ever knew."

Felicity put the tape recorder on her vanity table with a heavy sigh. "Well, I can't keep going over it. It happened, and I can't change how he feels."

"How his stupid friends feel, you mean. Ben's just giving in to them. Which I think sucks. Let's go play mini golf."

Felicity gave a genuine smile this time. The world needed more people like Shelly.

- - - - -

Over the following three days, she mercifully didn't run into Ben. Felicity started her new job, and found she enjoyed putting the finishing touches on a piece of art for people to hang in their homes and enjoy for years to come. In the evenings, she set up a corner in her room for her easel and a canvas, and began to paint for the library display. She'd spoken to Mrs. Hawkenberry on the phone, who said she had room left for one medium-sized canvas. When she laid the first stroke of paint on it, Felicity wasn't quite certain what it was going to become, but over time it developed a life of its own and told her what it wanted to be, all by itself.

Even though she didn't want to paint it.

Even though she didn't want to think of him.

The muted colors and shapes on the canvas resolved into a long, winding road. In the foreground of the canvas, a car took shape: sleek, black, parked by the roadside and waiting to take the road stretching away into the distance.

Standing beside the car were a man and woman embracing as though saying a bittersweet goodbye.

She cried as she painted it.

- - - - -

"Are you sure you wanted to do that? Kurt's just been riding you about her because he thinks he knows everything," said Jason, helping himself to a mozzarella stick.

Ben jerked a shoulder. "He's a dick, but basically, he had a point. So did you. She and I were from totally different backgrounds."

"So what?"

"Wait, you're the one who said we had nothing in common."

"Yeah, but I also said I don't care who you date. I'm not you, man," Jason pointed out. "She seemed nice enough."

"She is nice. She deserves nice. She should be with a guy who can afford to give her nice."

Jason scowled. "What are you talking about?"

Ben thumped an elbow on the table and braced his hand on his forehead. "I got us a cabin for the weekend at Yellowstone. It cost me way more than I had, so I used a credit card on top of my savings account, and now I'll be in debt until I die."

"What the hell'd you do that for?"

"Because I _like_ _her_," Ben snapped. "She's always been there for me when I needed a friend. She listens better than you idiots do."

Grinning, Jason fished a chicken wing out of the basket and bit into it. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Ben rubbed his forehead and sat back in the booth. "Anyway, no job around here is going to pay enough through the summer to pay back all the money I spent and still make something for school next year, even if I get two jobs. I could get three, but at some point, I'll have to sleep."

"What about asking your parents for a loan?"

"Mom can't afford it, and there's no way I'm asking my dad for money."

For a moment, Jason was silent. Then he grinned again. "Eric knows this guy down in Mexico who pays under the table doing construction. I was going to take the job, try and get a new car in the fall. You want it?"

Ben looked up, hopeful for a second, then hesitated. "I'm not taking your job, man."

"Take it. The Rustbucket'll last one more year. Eric's going." Jason angled his head. "At least call, dude."

"All right, all right, I'll call the guy."

"Good."

- - - - -

Tucking a large, flat parcel under her arm, Felicity took her father's car keys from her bag and left the frame shop, heading for the mall exit. Coming toward her in a giggling knot were Shelly, Amy, and Laura. Shelly came to a halt in front of Felicity. "Hey, do you want to go get some ice cream with us?"

"Actually, I was headed down to the library to drop this off," Felicity replied, indicating the parcel.

"What is it?"

"Just a painting."

"Can we see?"

"Well, I have to get it to the library before they close. It's part of an art show this weekend, so it'll be there if you want to see it then."

"Okay." We'll see you later, then."

The girls said goodbye, and Amy and Shelly walked away. Felicity started to walk in the opposite direction until she noticed that Laura had hung back. Curious, Felicity stopped.

Laura stared at the floor a moment, then looked up. "I'm really sorry about Ben, Felicity."

At that, Felicity raised her eyebrows in surprise. _But then, she knows how it feels. She just broke up with someone, too._ Felicity softened. "Thanks, Laura. I'll see you guys tomorrow."


	36. Soul Searching

36 – Soul Searching

"Ben."

"What?"

Kurt cuffed him in the shoulder. "Is it cool with us?"

Surprised that he cared enough to ask, Ben said, "Sure, whatever."

"Good, 'cause I've got a girl for you to meet."

Ben shook his head as he and Kurt trailed behind Jason and Eric, walking toward the movie theater. "Not now, man."

"You still pining for Felicity?"

Ben glared at him, readying himself for another battle with Kurt over his dating decisions.

Kurt grinned and held up his hands. "Easy, pal, I'm just trying to get you to think about your other options."

"Options. Options you decide will work for me," Ben spat.

Kurt laughed. "Come on. She's cool. You'll like her."

Ben looked around the table. Jason shrugged. Eric nodded, smiling.

Defeated, Ben gave a long sigh. "All right, whatever. Who is she?"

"Jeez, don't make it sound like a death sentence." Kurt waved to the left, where two young women sat at a table in the food court sipping slushies. He beckoned them closer.

The women stood up and came toward them. They were leggy, blond, curvy…and identical. Ben looked askance at Kurt.

With a self-satisfied smile, Kurt put his arm around the waist of one of the girls. "Ben Covington, meet Robin and Jennifer Emerson." He gave the girl beside him a playful squeeze. "Uh, this one's Jennifer."

Ben held out his hand to shake each of theirs. "Hi. Nice to meet you."

"Robin's into swimming, by the way. You being a fan of it, yourself, I thought you'd have a couple things to talk about. See you in the movie." Kurt and Jennifer sauntered away arm in arm.

Robin gave a nervous laugh. "Uh…sorry. I mean…this wasn't my idea. I'm not usually…" She trailed off and pushed a lock of her long blond hair behind one ear.

The gesture reminded him forcibly of Felicity, and he couldn't help but smile. "Don't sweat it."

She looked up at him through long eyelashes and gave a shrug. "So, do you want to go see this movie, anyway?"

- - - - -

Robin was decent company. They laughed at the same things in the movie, and compared notes on the best and worst movie junk food. Afterward, Ben offered to drive her home. On the way, they talked over the movie, and what they liked and hated about swimming. Ben found he had a lot in common with her.

He put the car into park in her driveway while she gathered up her purse. She looked up at him again. "I, um… I just want to say thanks for the movie, and all. It was really nice of you to drive me home, too."

"No problem." He grinned. "I think it was one of Kurt's better ideas. I had a good time."

Robin dimpled, a quick flash of a smile that piqued Ben's interest. He was struck by how pretty she was. "Me, too." She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear again. "If you ever want to be on the awkward end of a double date again, you're welcome to call me." She hesitated, seemed to think something over, then leaned across the seat and kissed him.

Ben kissed her back, passively at first, but when she slid toward him across the seat, he took her face in his hands and kissed her more thoroughly. The feeling of a woman's soft hair and soft skin under his hands swept any other thoughts out of his head.

For a while, anyway. Robin sat back with a look of embarrassment. "I—I'm sorry. I'm just…" She shook her head apologetically. "I'm not exactly in the dating arena."

"What, you've got a boyfriend, or something?"

She sighed. "Well…_sort_ of. Not really. No, I don't."

Her answer surprised Ben into laughing. "What do you mean?"

"There's this guy I like back at college, but I don't think… I'm not sure it's ever going to go anywhere."

"Why not?"

She shrugged. "He has no idea I like him. And I don't think he'll ever know."

Ben couldn't help a confused smile. "Why don't you tell him?"

"We never talk. I was in, like, _one_ of his classes this year. He's in computer programming, and I'm taking cosmetology. I don't think it would ever occur to him to try and talk to me, but he's really sweet."

_Opposites attract,_ he thought suddenly. Ben pursed his lips in contemplation. "You should tell him."

"You think so?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah, tell him. If he never knows you like him, you'll never get together."

Robin burst into a bright smile and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Ben. I'm going to go find his number right now."

When she got out of the car, Ben waved goodbye and backed out of the driveway. Rather than go home after that, he went to the beach to do some running. He'd stashed a spare pair of shorts and a T-shirt in the trunk of his mother's car for that reason, and he decided they'd come in handy that evening. Running always cleared his head.

Although it was late night, the beach was dotted here and there with the bonfires of early-summer partygoers. Ben ignored them all and went down to the water where the sand was firmest. Once there, he let the fluid motion of running overtake him. The sound of music and conversation from people around the bonfires faded out, and there was only the sound of the water and his even breathing.

He'd run about a half mile when a female voice called out from close at hand. "Well, if it isn't Joe Cool."

Ben slowed, and then stopped. A few yards away, three girls stood beside a bonfire with a round of sodas. Ben recognized the closest one as the same girl that had given Kurt the evil eye the first day he'd been home. Felicity's friend. Ben braced his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

The brunette stormed down the beach and planted her hands on her hips. "I've been looking to give you a piece of my mind, Mr. Popular. The big news is, we're not in high school anymore. Now, I don't have any problems telling you exactly what I think of guys like you. You _hurt her,_ you big _jerk_."

Taken by surprise at the girl's outburst, Ben drew up to his full height. "Look, this isn't any of your business."

"It's _exactly_ my business," the brunette snarled in a tone that reminded Ben of Elena back at UNY. "People who care about each other do that. Stick around when it's not so pretty."

Ben opened his mouth to say something back, but shut it when he saw Felicity coming down the beach with a cooler in hand. She set the cooler down in the sand beside the two other girls and kept coming.

Shelly looked over her shoulder. Seeing that Felicity intended to join them, she arched back around. "If you say one thing to set her off, I'll put vital parts of you in that bonfire." With that, the brunette stalked back to the other girls.

Felicity came to a stop before him, silhouetted in the firelight. She was wearing a low-cut bathing suit and a pair of denim shorts. Ben felt his mouth go dry as he remembered the nights at the cabin.

She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?"

He realized he should say something. "Some running. You?"

"Just hanging out."

"Yeah." He shuffled a sneakered foot in the sand. "So I found a job. This thing in Mexico. It should pretty much pay off most of what I need this summer, and I'll still have enough for fall. I leave in a little over a week."

"That's good."

Ben tried not to flinch, wondering if she meant it was good that he'd found a job, or that he was leaving. Well, he deserved that.

"I should go," she said, rubbing her arms as if she were cold. She turned to leave.

"Felicity."

She paused, looking back over her shoulder with a question in her eyes.

Ben opened his mouth, but whatever he meant to say stuck in his throat. "Never mind," he said instead, and watched her walk away again.


	37. Perception

37 - Perception

Ben couldn't think of a place he wanted to be less on a Saturday morning than at the City of Palo Alto Public Library, helping his mother look up information on divorce law. But he'd promised.

"We shouldn't be here too long, honey," she said as if reading his mind. "I really appreciate your help on this. There's just a couple of things I want to learn more about with this whole thing."

"Don't worry about it, Mom." Ben pulled open the front door.

They entered the library and navigated their way to the section that held all the legal books. His mother spent the first fifteen minutes at the online catalog station, writing down the call numbers of various books. She handed him a card. "Can you look for these for me, please? The catalog says they're all checked in."

"Sure." Ben took the card and headed into the stacks. He found three of the books, but the fourth wasn't in its place on the shelf. He went back to the library table where his mother sat, and put the books down. "The last one isn't there."

"But they said it was. That's the main book I wanted. Can you ask at the information desk for me?"

"Yeah." Ben went to the information desk.

The lady at the desk looked up the book in her computer and pronounced it "in," which Ben already knew. "It might be waiting to be shelved. You may want to ask at the front desk to see if it's on the cart."

"Thanks." _This is starting to feel like a wild goose chase._ Ben walked toward the front of the library. A group of people were already waiting to be helped, so he got in line.

Then he saw Felicity across the room.

Once his eyes landed on her, he couldn't look away. She was dressed in jeans and a lightweight shirt, with her hair in a ponytail. She was talking to some old lady. And smiling.

Ben felt his heart squeeze. He'd seen her briefly last night at the beach, and it felt like months ago. He'd gotten too used to seeing her every day.

He saw her shake hands with the lady and turn to leave with a wave goodbye. He watched until she went out the door and he couldn't see her anymore.

"Are you in line, sir?"

Ben jerked to attention and looked at the man standing impatiently behind him. "Yeah. Sorry." He approached the desk and asked about his mother's book. It turned out to be on their cart, after all, so he took it and left the line.

The old lady was still standing across the library. Burning with curiosity, Ben crossed the room. "Excuse me. That girl who you were just talking to. Why was she here?"

The lady pushed her glasses up her nose and blinked owlishly at him. "Oh, she was checking on her piece for the display, dear."

"Display? What display?"

The lady waved a hand behind her. When Ben moved to examine the room dividers standing there, she trailed along. "The art display. It's running all weekend. Do you paint?"

"No, that's her thing," Ben laughed ruefully, more to himself than to the lady.

"Oh, everyone's a bit of an artist, dear. That's the nice thing about it. Art is a universal language." The lady eyed him over the top of her glasses. Something about her expression made Ben fidget where he stood. "Why don't I show you her work?"

Ben was too curious to refuse, so when the lady led him around the corner of the display, he went. She gestured to a painting and stepped back to let Ben look.

Hanging in the center of one end panel was a soft-colored landscape of a winding road. In the foreground, parked at the side of the road, was The Baby. Ben raised his eyebrows.

Beside the car, a couple stood with their arms around each other, almost blending into one another as if it were impossible to know where one ended and the other began. It ached to look at it.

But not a hollow ache. Not a lonely one. Something infinitely different, unfamiliar. Ben stared at Felicity's signature in the corner of the painting.

"She's awfully good, isn't she?"

He'd forgotten he had company. "Huh? Yeah. Yeah, she is."

- - - - -

That evening, Ben was watching television when the doorbell rang. He got off the couch and went to the door. When he opened it, his father stood there. Ben snapped to attention immediately, giving his father a wary look.

Andrew gave him a half-hearted smile and held up a large manila envelope. "Uh, hi, Ben. Your mother asked me to bring her these papers. Is she home?"

"No. She went out." _Thankfully._

"Oh. Well, can I—can I come in?"

Ben was struck by the oddity of his father asking to enter what had been his own house. He gritted his teeth and backed up. "Yeah."

His father stepped into the foyer. "So, how have you been? How was school?"

Ben hunched his shoulders. "I'm fine."

"That's good. Your mother says you did well in your classes."

"I did all right." Ben rubbed at the back of his neck. "Dad, you didn't come in to talk about school with me, did you?"

"No, son, I didn't."

_Don't call me 'son.' You don't get to call me that._ Ben wanted to say it aloud, but something held him back. Something always held him back from saying the things he wanted to say to his father. They bottlenecked up in him until he couldn't stand it. "What did you want, then?"

"Oh. Uh…hold on a minute." Andrew pulled his wallet from his back pocket. "Your mother said you were going to be working in Mexico this summer. This is… It isn't much, but it will help you out while you're down there." He pulled a few bills from his wallet and held them out.

Ben hesitated. He hated taking anything from his father. It always felt more like a bribe than a gift. He sighed and took the money. "Thanks."

His father smiled. "Well, I should—I should go. I'll see you." He exited the still-open front door.

Ben looked down at the money, a good handful of twenties. Part of him felt guilty for even taking it. He sighed once more and fished out his own wallet to put it away.

He hesitated, staring at the wallet. He ran his thumb over the soft leather. His wallet had been a gift, too. This one came with no strings attached.

_She_ came with no strings attached.

The phone rang, and he went to get it. "Hello?"

"You, me, and the guys. Pool table. Justin's Bar, in twenty minutes. You in?" came Jason's voice.

Ben couldn't help a smile. "Sure."


	38. The Road Home

38 – The Road Home

Felicity watched bubbles of carbonation form on the straw of her soda. "I just… I thought he was different."

Like a true friend, Shelly puffed with indignation and sat on the next barstool. "He's a jerk. You don't need him. Cute jerks are still jerks."

"Yeah, I know," Felicity murmured. She stirred her soda restlessly with the straw.

Shelly laid a hand on her friend's arm. "Sure you won't dance with us?"

Felicity shook her head. "No. I think I'm just going to finish my drink and go home, if that's okay with you. I'm tired, anyway," she lied.

Shelly frowned in sympathy. "Okay. If you change your mind, we're going to Rudebaker's after this. I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Thanks." Felicity wrapped a sneaker around the leg of the barstool. Shelly gave her arm a brief squeeze and went back to the dance floor.

A sudden flurry of noise made her look up. Felicity turned toward the doorway for the source of the disturbance to see a small group of laughing young men enter the bar. She recognized the one in front as Kurt. Two others entered behind him, arguing over something. _Great, just what I need. Ben's friends._

Then Ben stepped through the doorway. He stood on the threshold with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. He swept the room with a casual glance, and his eyes landed on her. He stared across the room with an unreadable expression.

Felicity looked away first. She pulled her soda toward her and hunched over it. The fast song ended, only to be replaced by another. To Felicity's mortification, Kurt crossed the room and bellied up to the bar to ask for four beers. _Fake ID, no doubt,_ she thought with a smirk.

While Kurt waited for the bartender to fill his order, he looked around. She could almost feel the moment when his gaze landed on her. He stared so hard she wanted to squirm in her seat. She almost felt like she was back in high school, the frizzy-haired nobody that guys like him only looked at when they wanted to ridicule someone. She set her jaw and tried to ignore him. It still hurt.

He edged closer. "So, what are you doing here?"

The old Felicity would have slunk away, or looked around to see if he was talking to someone else. The new Felicity surprised her by taking over in a burst of indignation. She eyed him. "What's it look like?"

Kurt raised his hands in a mock show of fending her off. "Don't get your panties in a twist. I was just wondering, you know, if you had a hot date."

She tried to come up with a snappy reply, something to shut him up. Nothing came, so she settled for her most withering show of indifference and turned back to her soda.

"Hey, where do you get off being so high and mighty? I'm just trying to be friendly, here." Kurt laid a hand on her shoulder.

She grabbed it and threw it off. _"Don't touch me."_

"Whoa, hey. Check out the ice queen. I guess I was wrong about you and Ben, wasn't I?"

She bristled. More than four years of harassment by his ilk finally became too much to bear. The old Felicity cringed in expectation of the outburst. "Why don't you take your jock friends and go bother someone else?" she said, loud enough for most of the bar's patrons to overhear. A nasty little part of her hoped Ben heard it, too.

Kurt scowled at her. "I always did think you were a frigid bitch. Thanks for proving me right." He snatched his beers, threw a few bills on the bar, and stalked away.

- - - - -

Ben caught Kurt by the sleeve on his way back from the bar. "Hey, man, what did you say to her?"

"Nothing she didn't deserve."

Ben made a face of disgust. "She wasn't bothering you. Why do you have to be such a dick to her?"

"Why do you care, Covington? She's not worth the time. She's nobody special." Kurt shrugged him off and headed back to their table.

Ben followed. "Look, what's your problem? You used to be less of a jerk than this." Sitting at the table, Jason and Eric gave him curious looks.

"Yeah, and you used to be fun to hang out with," responded Kurt, raising an eyebrow at him. "I fixed you up with a hot girl, and you barely blinked."

"If you'd bothered to talk to her first, you would have known she's already into somebody else!" Ben fumed.

"Who cares about some stupid girl? Let's play pool," Eric interjected. He jerked his head toward the billiard table in the corner of the bar.

"Stay out of it," Ben snapped. Eric blinked at him, startled into silence.

Jason held up his hands. "Will you both just lay off each other? We're here to have a good time."

"Yeah? Don't go asking for Porter's phone number," Kurt jabbed.

Ben snarled. "You know, I've had enough of your crap, Kurt. You may not like her, but let me tell you something about Felicity. She's been a better friend to me in the past year than you have in _seven_." To Jason and Eric, he said, "I'll see you guys around." He walked away.

Jason watched him go with a look of regret. Eric shrugged.

Kurt hissed and slammed his beer bottle on the table. "What a total—"

"Give it a rest, Kurt. If he likes her, that's his business," Jason sighed.

Kurt eyed him, then glanced at Eric.

Eric gave another philosophical shrug. "Whatever."

- - - - -

A slow song started playing on the loudspeakers. From the corner of her eye, Felicity saw couples pairing off on the dance floor, and felt a pang. _This is a good time to leave._ She pulled a few bills out of her wallet and left them on the bar, then slid off the barstool.

A shadow fell across the bar. "Hey."

She turned to see Ben come up beside her. Felicity gulped back the knot in her throat, but she couldn't stop the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She swiped a lock of hair behind her ear and turned to go.

"Can you—Can you just give me a second?" he asked, stepping into her path.

"Why? I'm nobody special." She meant to snap it, but it came out choked off. She tried to move around him.

He grabbed her sleeve. "Felicity..."

She grasped at the last shreds of her dignity, already bruised from her run-in with Kurt, and looked up at him. She fought to keep the tears from spilling over. "Your friends are waiting for you."

"You _are_ my friend," he said, cutting off her attempt to leave again. "You're—You're more than that."

She sank back onto the barstool and wiped at her eyes, looking away from him.

Ben looked down at the floor, then back to her. "I'm sorry. I was a jerk, and I know I don't deserve somebody like you in my life. But Felicity…I want you there."

She sniffled. Angry that she was crying in front of him, she scrubbed at her eyes again. "You've got a funny way of showing it."

"I know. I know." He paused. "I saw your painting at the library. The people in it—"

"They were saying goodbye," she murmured.

Ben shook his head vehemently. "No. No, they weren't. They were saying hello. You painted it. You couldn't see it?"

Felicity looked up at him, frowning in puzzlement. She backed up a step.

He took a corresponding step toward her. "I was stupid to listen to Kurt. I don't know what I was thinking. You've been a better friend to me than I deserve. I should have stood up for you."

"Yeah," she whispered. A few tears escaped to trickle down her cheek.

Ben took a quick breath and looked at the floor again. She saw his jaw clench and unclench. When he looked back up, she saw the guilt and apology in his eyes. "Come dance with me."

"You don't dance," she pointed out. She couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice, and she hated herself for it.

"I do right now," he responded softly.

Swallowing hard, she said, "What will your friends think?"

"I don't care what they think. It's not about what they think." He ducked his head and sought out her eyes. "I'm sorry. I really am. Can we start over?"

More tears coursed down her cheeks. She sniffled again, and attempted to wipe them away.

Ben's hand came up to her cheek, and he brushed away her tears with his thumb. "I miss you. I miss you ridiculing my food and telling me I don't know how to drive, and picking out the craziest things to see on the best trip I've ever been on in my life."

She drew a shuddering breath and gave up trying to stop the tears from falling.

"I've got to leave for Mexico in a week for that job, and I don't want to leave it like this with you. I don't know what this is that we've got, and it scares the hell out of me…but I do know I don't want to lose it. Please dance with me?" He held out his hand to her.

She looked from his eyes to his outstretched hand and back again. "Are you sure you want to be seen with a frizzy-haired freak?"

The corner of his mouth twitched upward. "There's not many things I've ever been sure about…but this is one of them. Come on, who's going to fold my road maps if it isn't you?"

She laughed through her tears, hesitated, and took his hand.

Smiling now, Ben led her to the middle of the dance floor, bathed in the violet-blue glow of the spotlights. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek against hers. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he whispered.

Felicity put her arms around him and sniffled tearfully one last time, hugging him. "Thanks."

He arched back from her and reached up to brush her hair away from her face with both hands. Bending his head, he kissed her softly, in front of everyone on the dance floor: his friends, her friends, people they'd grown up with, who'd always been at opposite ends of the popularity spectrum. Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

The old Felicity and the new Felicity both smiled, from the heart outward. Ben wrapped his arms around her again, holding her close against him, and they danced. The smoky spotlight threw their shadows across the floor, melding them into one.


	39. Epilogue

39 – Epilogue

Felicity put her arms around Ben's neck. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." Ben kissed her and held her close. "I might not see you until we get back to school in the fall."

Felicity felt him press his face into her hair and inhale as if memorizing the smell of her. She smiled and kissed him again. "You could send me a tape, like Sally does."

He laughed softly at that. "How about I call you, instead?"

"Okay." Dimpling, she kissed him a third time. She was about to step back, but Ben pulled her close again for a last embrace. She hugged him hard.

When they separated, Felicity backed away and watched him get into the car with Eric. "Have a safe trip."

He grinned, and she found herself committing the sight to memory. "See you soon."

She waved them off as the car pulled out of her driveway. Eric honked the horn, and the car drove away down the road.

- - - - -

She wasn't sad. She couldn't be. For the past week, she'd felt too good inside to leave any room for sadness that she couldn't have spent the whole summer with Ben.

Felicity went upstairs to her room, touching Ben's necklace with a sentimental smile. She opened her door and saw the road map hanging over her bed, and smiled wider. She started across the room to pick up her tape recorder from the vanity, but stopped and turned around.

Hanging on the wall by her door was the painting she'd done of The Baby. Felicity angled her head and went closer, studying it. The couple embracing beside the car wasn't saying a tearful goodbye, after all. Ben was right.

They were saying hello, and looking forward to traveling the road ahead.

Together.

- The End -


End file.
